Bikes, safety and spouses

A couple summers ago, I was rear-ended during the Woodward Dream Cruise on my Bonneville. The bike has some scars (and now a non matching fender) and I have some deep tissue scaring in my hip from one of the worst bruises I have ever seen. So, in all not too much damage to myself or the bike really. It was a very low speed crash.

The bike has mostly been sitting since then, but I am in the process of getting it back on the road with an eye to riding it to work on nice days. Much as I did before the incident.

However, my wife is now very afraid for my safety. She told me that she is afraid I'm going to be hurt (potentially fatally) and actually cried a little. This isn't good. I still like bikes, but I don't want to drive her insane with worry.

Have any of you confronted an issue like this? I am not so in love with motorcycling that I have to keep it, but they take up so much less space than sportscars (and generally cost less). I'm feeling a little bit conflicted.

It's a motorcycle- you could potentially be hurt or killed, it's kind of part of the appeal.

Everybody who rides either makes the call that the enjoyment is worth the risk, or deludes themselves into thinking that it's safer than it is. Sometimes you have to factor how much your riding is going to cause anxiety in others.

I can't tell you how to handle your situation other than having an honest conversation about it- how much safety gear would make both of you comfortable? What conditions would you both be OK with you riding in? That sort of thing.

In reply to WilD:

I'd say you're in the perfect bargaining position for a Miata RF. Seems like an overall win to me.

In reply to Pete Gossett:

This is the response I was expecting.

When I first got a bike I did the whole better to ask for forgiveness than permission thing. She wasn't too happy at first but quickly became ok with it. I honestly don't think she realizes just how dangerous it is though. Luckily, I have yet to have any type of accident but I know if I did she would push hard for me to give it up. Not having been in that situation I'm not sure how hard I would push to get back on if I were physically able to.

The one thing I did do was up my life insurance and add in supplemental short and long term disability insurance so my decisions don't dramatically effect her way of life if I become road pizza.

Good luck with the new RF

I saw my wife's friend die at the finish line of the Scranton half marathon recently. She was a fit 36yr old mother of three.

You don't usually get to pick how you die, but you can decide how to live with the time you have. If you would be regretful for not riding some of it away... You need to find peace with your wife and get to it.

My wife was hesitant, and still is about my riding. We have sat down and had long long talks about riding and safety. Plus she has ridden with me. I don't think she realized how careful I am when riding until she rode with me. But she still has concerns, and I'd be a dyck of a husband if I didn't listen to those concerns and take them to heart. She also understands that I really like riding and am doing everything I can to be careful. I know her concern is not me, my riding style, my bike, or bike maintenance, but she is worried about every driver on our roads. When you look at the # of people driving on the roads and not paying attention for a whatever reasons it is a valid concern. I think being able to have a conversation with her and each being able to listen to the other is not only what keeps her okay with my riding, but also what helps with a healthy marriage...

A funny one related to motorcycles and wives, is that I was recently shopping for a new riding jacket as mine has become too big. I laugh, but I showed her one of the hi-viz yellow jackets as some of the options that are out there, guess which one she liked because she thought it would make me more visible and safer. Yep. Guess which one is now hanging on the back of my office door from my ride in this morning. Yep. I'm a hi-viz yellow Vstrom rider. And I'm okay with that.

As a bonus, I told her I wanted to ride the TAT and showed her a video of a couple riding the TAT. While watching and without being prompted by me she said "that looks super cool, I'd be interested in doing that." (I'm also memoralizing that quote here so I can refer back to it later)

EDIT: I also have massive life insurance policies on myself. I figure if it is my time to go then it could be on the bike, in the 40 year old 911, at work, or at the gym. Either way I'll leave her in sugar mama status so she can find a better replacement since she has been stuck with me the past 15 years.

As someone who rode like a full blown dumbass i gave up riding shortly after my kids were born per my wifes wishes. A friend lost a rear tire at 120 the month before and after seeing the damage too the bike and him she was panicked.

If your a responsible rider and can explain it too your wife good luck. Alot of people out there who dont pay attention so its easy to get hit.

I guess I'm lucky. I found a girl that loves to ride.

Mom, on the other hand, worries about me. She knows I love riding, and that I've taken the MSF course and usually wear protective gear and don't ride like an asshat, though, so I've got her mind eased a little.

Start taking flight lessons.

Decide what is most important to you. I love to ride, but I gave up riding on the street for two reasons. One I'm an idiot and only know how to hoon around on a bike. Two I decided that leaving my wife and kids husband/fatherless was more important to me than hooning around. Someday when all my kids are grown I may start riding again, maybe I'll even be more responsible by then.

I wear full gear whenever I ride. I take it as seriously as racing. Full face helmet, ballistic jacket, ballistic pants, motorcycle boots and motorcycle gauntlets. I don’t listen to music and will never ride a "cruiser." I've been ruding close to 40 years and never down on the street. I say street because if you never go down on a dirt bike you aren't riding hard enough.