e30 matches every single one of your criteria other than the hatchback, and that's moot because you can fit 5 (stock size) wheels/tires in the trunk of an e30 (in fact, there are 5 in the trunk of mine right now).
Yes, it's not easy to find a driving e30 for $1000, but it's not impossible. Mine was $1000 and I drove it home 50-60 miles with only vibrations (caused by two loose bolts on the driveshaft, and some poorly-balanced tires). Look for early 318i's with the M10. very unloved in e30 circles, but still a lot of fun (and the lightest e30s ever made by a large margin).
or, even more with your description:
http://greenville.craigslist.org/cto/4328701195.html
sounds like it may need a HG, but those are very easy on M42/M44 cars. Or may just need a new water pump or rad......
Not a hatchback, and frankly, I read the title, then the OP's post, and then decided I didn't care what you wanted and just wanted to say what I'd decided to saw when I read the thread title...
I've been looking into Beetles (old, real Beetles). They might meet your requirement, are supposedly easy to work on, and they're pretty universally appealing to non-car people, so you'll lots of waves and smiles. I want one.
Better answers... '89 Civic Si is God's Chariot. Wait for a Volvo 242, that's a fantastic response someone had. Preludes are pretty sweet, especially the later ones, and don't seem to have as much of the Honda tax as similar era Civics.
