My car is so slow . . .

My car is so slow that if it took me any longer to get to work, I would pass myself coming home

rustybugkiller said:

What’s bad is when you own a slow car that a lot of young people don’t know what it is and assumes it’s fast because of the way it looks.....914

or a 1st gen MR2 with a header and straight pipe exhaust, sounded fast. I had people think i was trying to sandbag them when i told them it ran a 17.1 in the quarter mile... and that was with 272 cams...

My car's so slow I had to brake check the combine that was drafting me. Rodney Dangerfield wouldn't give me any respect, and Ralph Nader said that I wasn't fast enough to be dangerous.

In reply to Kreb :

Daayum, now that's slow. 

Can we turn this in a yo mama so slow thread.

My cars so slow that GRM banished me to the Grassroots pedalsports board.

Tom_Spangler said:

I can't believe it took this many posts but.....

HOW SLOW IS IT?

Gene Rayburn:  Weird Bob said, "My Miata is sooooo slow..."

Studio Audience:  HOW SLOW IS IT?

Gene Rayburn:  I'll tell ya how slow it is.  Last night on my way home from the autocross, I lost a drag race to a [BLANK].

[funky Match Game theme plays, Gary Burghoff, Brett Sommers and Charles Nelson Reilly scribble furiously, Richard Dawson leers at Adrienne Barbeau's chest, Marcia Wallace stares off into space]

My '86 Fifth Avenue did the 1/4 mile in 21 seconds. Yes. 21 seconds.

My friend was in the stands and reported the following to me: The first pass people assumed something had gone wrong. By the third pass people were yelling at me to get off the track

My rallycross car is so slow i have hard time staying ahead of my dust cloud.

My rallycross car is so slow on my last run of the day i leave my trunk open so the corner workers can put the cones and fire extinguishers in there as i go by.

My car is so slow the neighbor's dog peed on my front tire 30 minutes into my commute.

I hit a horsefly once and it took me a half mile to get my momentum back.

I have 6 liters worth of America V8 and my wife's Volt is faster

The other day somsomebody yelled "Hey, move it shiny happy person!" 

I didnt think the amish talked like that.

My car is so slow.  

I had one of the local autocross front runners ride along to coach me.  After the run he said my driving isn’t the problem.

-Hans

My rotors get rusty between stoplights.

My car's zero to 60 time is "eventually"  

My car is so slow that today I hypermiled behind a turtle. 

I use a sundial for my 60’ times...

Friend showed up to the drag strip with 3 pounds of loose change in the console and nobody asked him to remove it. Which is fine, because it didn't go anywhere.

My wife looked over at me and asked “Can we go faster, please?”

My 0 to 60 time is 32 years and counting....

On the drive to the lake I have 13 spots where I can pull over and pretend to look for something in the back so all the cars piled up behind me can get on with their drive...

The new speed bumps at the hospital are too close and I cannot get up enough momentum to make it over the second one.....

I drove through a swarm of love bugs without any bug casualties.....

Bruce

I can’t drive fifty five....

it only goes thirty eight

... I had to go on Nutrisystem in order to merge with traffic.