With what we want to do, I keep coming back to a Tacoma/4Runner.........but cripes are the used values ridiculous. This will be our "do it all, that isn't a sports car" vehicle, and it will be my girlfriend's daily driver. Here are the needs which we are trying to fill.
1. Not a full-size. This is basically the only thing that is non-negotiable, she will accept driving a truck/SUV but doesn't want something as large as the modern "full-size" trucks/SUV.
2. Enough towing capacity that a small travel trailer isn't going to be pushing the towing capacity.
3. Would be great if it could also occasionally tow the Miata here in the middle of the country on an open trailer, so no mountains and such to deal with.
4. 4WD/AWD
Open to suggestions that aren't full-size trucks/SUVs.
I love my Trail Team FJ Crusier, but the prices are higher than Tacomas/4Runners these days, as man bun hipsters go gaga for them
A buddy just did a fly & drive on a one-owner 60k mile previous gen 4WD Taco in virginia for $15k. The deals are out there if you're willing to drive.
poopshovel again said:
A buddy just did a fly & drive on a one-owner 60k mile previous gen 4WD Taco in virginia for $15k. The deals are out there if you're willing to drive.
Definitely willing to do that. I've done two fly and drives, and one drive-and-drive. One of those fly and drives was for an '08 V8 4WD Limited 4Runner.................wish I still had that one.
Strizzo
PowerDork
8/4/20 11:12 a.m.
be patient, a 2013 4runner trail with about 70k on it popped up near me on FB marketplace a couple weeks ago asking $19.5k
While a lot of them will be asking damn near sticker for 100k mile examples, there are clean low miles trucks that pop up from time to time.
russde
Reader
8/4/20 11:12 a.m.
GX460...good towing capability, decent mileage, great interior, Toyota reliability. Can be had with ~100k for less than the low end of your budget
STM317
UberDork
8/4/20 11:18 a.m.
Some less than full size things that can tow around 6-7k lbs and haven't already been mentioned:
Durango/Grand Cherokee
Ranger
Colorado/Canyon
Frontier
Touareg
I was kind of in a similar spot (SUV that could occasionally tow and would be a DD for a GF who was worried she couldn't handle a big one (that's what she said)) and considered the Lexus GS. My budget was a bit lower and was mostly limited to the GX470, but the newer 460 should be in yours.
That said, GF softened the size requirement when the Escalade kept popping up in the price range, but absolutely refused to consider anything bigger than the standard wheelbase. We ended getting one of those. A few months in and she's now declared she wants an ESV when it comes time to replace it. 
Sequoia, Tahoe, Expedition. Drive them all, buy the one you like riding in the most.
The extra size isn't a bad thing. When you need it, it's there. And when you don't, you really don't notice it.
KyAllroad (Jeremy) (Forum Supporter) said:
Sequoia, Tahoe, Expedition. Drive them all, buy the one you like riding in the most.
The extra size isn't a bad thing. When you need it, it's there. And when you don't, you really don't notice it.
If I was going to be driving it, no doubt. But she will be and doesn't want a full-size. I don't blame her.
I don't want any size truck/SUV as my daily driver. Which is why I told her if she really wants a travel trailer, she has to be the one driving the vehicle to pull it.
Nissan Pathfinder made a version with the Armada 5.6L V8. This is only a slightly smaller vehicle than the Armada but it is smaller. Big benefit from the big towing capability (7,000lbs) of the V8. Poor mpg in concert with the big umph, expect about 15 mpg. Offered from '08- '12. The standard engine was a 4.0L V6 which is rated for 6,000lbs but it is going to wheez to try to do that much.
https://www.autotrader.com/car-news/short-lived-v8-powered-nissan-pathfinder-used-tow-rig-bargain-281474979940072
Random video showing Armada beside Pathfinder
Agreed, in your price range, the Lexus GX will allow her to ride in style with all the other cool kids. For me, I went 10% of your budget and went with an old Mitsubishi Montero Limited
I just went through a similar buying process in the last month except I wanted a full-size. I've owned 5 Toyotas and they were all flawless, so I really wanted a Tundra. The Toyota tax was ridiculous- for the same money that a 2009 Tundra required, I got a 2013 F-150 crew cab with 60k miles. The two Tundras I looked at both had over 120k miles and semi-serious issues and were still asking $20k+.
For your needs I second the recommendation for a GX470. Great V8 motor, tows 7k, and most of them were driven by soccer moms so they haven't seen any serious work. Toyota/Lexus's best kept secret. If you want a pickup, the latest generation Colorado/Canyon are pretty good but the back seat is pretty tight.
Watch out for the air injection pump on the GX
The VW Toureg is kind of an easy vehicle to miss here - it may be a crossover, but it has real towing ability, about 7000 lbs. And you can get Dieselgate buyback ones at very reasonable prices.
mr2s2000elise said:
Watch out for the air injection pump on the GX
Pricey repair I assume? Anything else on the 460s?
I know the 470 has the older V8 that requires water pump/timing belt replacement on the regular.
In reply to John Welsh:
I'll take a look, I didn't know those were a thing! Wasn't that gen Armada/Tundra known for a tiny diff that didn't handle towing well? Is there anything to look out for in particular on these? Just did a quick search and they are pretty damn reasonably priced.
MadScientistMatt said:
The VW Toureg is kind of an easy vehicle to miss here - it may be a crossover, but it has real towing ability, about 7000 lbs. And you can get Dieselgate buyback ones at very reasonable prices.
A modern-ish, diesel German vehicle sounds like exactly the kind of thing that will suck up all the fun money to keep it on the road.
Am I assuming incorrectly?
Does a Pilot/Ridgeline count as full size? I'd guess the towing capacity is a little low though.
93EXCivic said:
Does a Pilot/Ridgeline count as full size?
From what I gather the Pilot is only rated for 3,500 lbs regardless of configuration?
And I know we were out over the weekend and she said, "What is that? It's hideous." It was the previous gen Ridgeline. So I don't think she will be up for one of those.
ProDarwin said:
z31maniac said:
MadScientistMatt said:
The VW Toureg is kind of an easy vehicle to miss here - it may be a crossover, but it has real towing ability, about 7000 lbs. And you can get Dieselgate buyback ones at very reasonable prices.
A modern-ish, diesel German vehicle sounds like exactly the kind of thing that will suck up all the fun money to keep it on the road.
Am I assuming incorrectly?
Ask Javelin
Don't forget to twist the knife while you have it in there! 
Pilot is 5k with the towing package (I.e. transmission cooler). Passports are slightly shorter than the Pilots, not sure if used ones are in your price range yet. My wife drives a Pilot and loves it, my MIL has the Passport and loves that!
Do you have the travel trailer or will that be a purchase as well? If it's a purchase, consider pop-up trailers. We towed one for years with a 2nd gen explorer and it did great. Something like a Pilot with a popup camper behind it would be easy on the highway and plenty of fun. The previously mentioned v8 470 or 4Runner would be good too. Spendy, yes, but damn nice.
I have a full size 4dr truck that's kind of become our go-to because it's so comfy. Honestly, if you want midsize and swiss army knife capability, stick with an SUV unless you REALLY need an open bed for something. Even a 4dr midsize pickup just isn't enough usable dry space without a cap on the back, and then what's the point. The full size makes up the difference because the cab is so big.
russde said:
GX460...good towing capability, decent mileage, great interior, Toyota reliability. Can be had with ~100k for less than the low end of your budget
this price range you will be able to find a bit older but much nicer 470 and I'd fully support that recommendation.
There are a zillion options out there, with most of the good ones listed above.
I guess I'd start with the question of how important is towing performance? Because I suspect a pickup is going to outperform on towing compared to the other options (although maybe a V8 Cherokee will tow well).
The next question is, how much do you care about reliability and build quality?
Finally, how much interior room do you need? A 4 Runner or GX will fit a family of 5, while a Taco/Frontier/Colorado will theoretically fit that family but not really.
My guess is you want a Grand Cherokee overland with Toyota reliability. :)
ultraclyde (Forum Supporter) said:
Do you have the travel trailer or will that be a purchase as well? If it's a purchase, consider pop-up trailers. We towed one for years with a 2nd gen explorer and it did great. Something like a Pilot with a popup camper behind it would be easy on the highway and plenty of fun. The previously mentioned v8 470 or 4Runner would be good too. Spendy, yes, but damn nice.
I have a full size 4dr truck that's kind of become our go-to because it's so comfy. Honestly, if you want midsize and swiss army knife capability, stick with an SUV unless you REALLY need an open bed for something. Even a 4dr midsize pickup just isn't enough usable dry space without a cap on the back, and then what's the point. The full size makes up the difference because the cab is so big.
It will be a future purchase as well. We are basically in the research faze of all this so we can determine priorities, budgets, etc.
To give you an idea of the size of travel trailers we are looking at, this is one that would serve our needs well.
https://cheyennecampingcenter.com/inventory/2021-forest-river-cherokee-wolf-pup-14cc-travel-trailer-268
