WTH is going on with my E34? Need some remote diag help

In reply to BoxheadTim :

I will ask Mr Clear Spring if he’s down with helping out, and if he is then I will PM you his  contact info.  

In reply to AngryCorvair :

Thank you, much appreciated.

In reply to BoxheadTim :

Clear Spring guy is a no-go to do the work, but he said *you* can do it at his place if you're capable of not wrecking his E36 M3 and not hurting yourself.   He's got a lift and a pretty well-stocked tool room.

bumping for edit to previous post

Thanks - got your PM. Do appreciate, unfortunately right now I'm not quite 100% in the "not hurting myself" category. I'll see if I'm better in a week or so and may then reach out to him.

Given your luck with older cars and shops, I'd seriously just buy something new enough that its under warranty and call it a day.  Sell off all these old cars.

In reply to docwyte :

This is what I'm beginning to lean towards. It's not necessarily only my inverse Midas touch when it comes to anything with wheels (and apparently shops, recently), but also the increased stress levels that didn't seem to be that much of an issue out West. But then again I did have alternative transport options that we don't have available here. I don't think I've ever seen an Uber or Lyft map completely devoid of cars...

Of course this leads right into a "what car" thread. If it wasn't for my foot issues, the choice would be fairly easy - Civic Si/Type R or a Veloster N - but taking that and my wife's dislike for driving cars with a manual transmission, it becomes more difficult. Basically depends on if I want a dealer one or two hours away. One hour basically limits it to Chrysler/Dodge/Ford/Honda/Hyundai/Jeep/VW, two hours would allow me to include the rest of the FCA product line.

Probably time to jump on cargurus.com and see what I can find with a substantial discount.

Regarding the transmission . . . It sounds like low fluid or torque converter issues. Any driveline vibes, I would look to the guibo or driveshaft center bearing with a, albeit low, possibility of diff bushings. Finally, steery rear-end points to dog bones, rear subframe bushings, and trailing arm bushings.

Interestingly the transmission problem is temperature dependent, which suggests to me that if it is a fluid level problem, it's very minor.

Basically, when it's cold outside - say, below 45 - about 2/3rds of the time, I have to rev the engine a little to get the car to move when the transmission is cold. Right now, it goes into gear and starts creeping immediately.

OTOH, it now also sometimes idles like crap when the engine is mostly warmed up and it's in gear, sitting still. Like, there is suddenly a lot of drag on the engine. This seems to get better once everything is fully warmed up (like, after about 1/2h driving). Engine is still firing on all six, but something's depressed and dragging it down. Might be the owner, though .

Wow, you're really out in BFE!  Given how far away you are from dealers, I'd go with something with rock solid reliability.  Toyota 4Runner, Land Cruiser or a Taco or Tundra.

If you were much closer to the VW dealer I'd say get a GTi with the DSG tranny, as it comes with a 6 year/72k mile bumper to bumper warranty.

In reply to docwyte :

It's a bit of an odd place here - I haven't really found that many places between here and the Eastern border of WV where I can't see somebody's house, but the town we live in - despite being stretched out all over the map - has maybe a few thousand residents, if that, and not that much in shops and services that exceed the minimum necessary - two pharmacies, one supermarket, couple of other shops. Even Walmart is 45 minutes away.

Pretty much any dealers (of cars, that is, not side-by-sides or stuff that comes in baggies and is frowned upon) are at least a 45 minute drive away. Basically to get to VW instead of Dodge/Ford/Toyota/Honda adds only another 15 minutes. Of course, either one would be extremely inconvenient if the car was broken to the extent that it needed towing.

A GTI with DSG is actually on the radar, but interestingly enough my wife would prefer a Challenger. Heck she married me so she has impeccable taste. My bigger issue would be to avoid the temptation to upgrade to a Golf R with DSG...

Oddly enough I found that my inverse Midas touch with vehicles strikes harder with supposedly unbreakable vehicles. A friend of mine in the UK who was the service writer at the local Honda dealer back when I had a few Hondas used to greet me with "funny, I've never seen that go wrong".

The Italian cars with the horrible reputation seemed to work better for me than the indestructible Hondas. Heck, I had fewer problems driving my Delta Integrale from the UK to my mum's place in Switzerland than the supposedly reliable BMWs (both motorcycles and cars).