And then I broke down (emotionally)

Not mechanically, as you'd expect. Emotionally.

In my (as of this writing) 22 years of teaching, no student have I appreciated more than this one. It's not often I shed tears, but I did - head in my hands, in my office, bawling. I miss you, man. It's just not fair.

https://www.castanet.net/news/Kelowna/248833/18-year-old-killed-in-crash

Not sure why I'm sharing this, it doesn't benefit any of you at all.....

Thanks for the ear.

So sad, and so sorry for your loss. :(

So sorry to hear that man.  

Man, this is so tragic.  I am so sorry to hear that this kid will no longer be in your life.

Prayers to you and his family.

Happy to be an ear.

You are upset because you care.

You care because you are a good person. 

We are here for you. 

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I am reminded of Jeff Hefflin.   He was my high school class president as well as football QB.  The guy who was "the most popular" but equally he deserved to be since he was genuinely nice to everyone.  All around great guy from an affluent family.  Heading off to an affluent college.  Everything going his way.  

One week after HS graduation, he hit a tree in a one car accident.  No known fowl play and no intoxicants, etc.  Suspicion was that he fell asleep at the wheel.    It was an amazing example of getting "cut short" in life.  That was 1984 but the event still has a profound affect on my life.  

I could attend funerals all day long for people in their 80's and beyond who led full lives but having to attend a funeral of someone cut short in the prime of their life are the hardest things ever.  

Here's the hope of strength for you.  It will be a hard time.    

Damn. Damn. Sorry for your loss. And the families'..

SkinnyG said:

Not sure why I'm sharing this, it doesn't benefit any of you at all.....

Thanks for the ear.

You're sharing it because it benefits you.  And that's perfectly OK.  That's why we're here.

I'm sorry for your loss.  Way too young for a good kid to die.

Sorry to hear this. Keep caring for your students, they're fortunate to have you.

Berkeley. As someone who graduated high school in the area just a year and a half ago I don't know if I want to know if I knew the kid. 

You shared with more people who care. Sorry for your loss. Tragic. 

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Glad you’re comfortable enough to share it here.

Appleseed said:

You are upset because you care.

You care because you are a good person. 

We are here for you. 

This. 

Sorry to hear about your loss. Yes your's. You invest daily in the lives of young people, some that care, some that don't, some that come from well-balanced homes, some who come from homes where there is a level of dysfunction that would astound most of us, but you are touching their lives. When you care, you open yourself up for hurt and disappointment, but also joy. Keep touching lives daily, everybody changes the world, keep doing it. The reason that our tears are hot, is because they are born in our hearts before they eminate from our eyes.

So sad to see it end so soon.  It sounds like he made a impression on those around him and was loved.

Man, that’s a rough one; 18 years is not nearly enough living! I’m sorry to hear the sad news.

Three weeks ago I unexpectedly lost a talented and full-of-life 28-year-old employee and it hit me like a ton of bricks. When someone dies young it is tough to deal with, and when they are young and show promise it makes it even harder.

Take a moment in his memory. Lean on others when needed. We are always happy to lend an ear.

Nothing can soothe the loss of a life you care about being cut so short.  You obviously care about your students and it is also obvious from your connection that he was as inspired by you as you were enthusiastic about his success.

You fostered and inspired a soul to his destination.  It was just sooner than you both expected.  Celebrate his impact on you, as I'm sure he celebrated your impact on him.

I send love and healing your way.

Appleseed said:

You are upset because you care.

You care because you are a good person. 

We are here for you. 

This again.

Lost talent,  i appreciate your investment as an educator. I lost my best friend in the second grade and couldnt understand why Andy wasn't there anymore.  Mrs Fish, my teacher and a true educator did her best to explain death to me  .

 Be an educator

Thank you all for your support.

I spent most of the weekend distracting myself so that I could handle the grief in more manageable sizes.  I may grieve longer, but it might be easier this way.

Handled work relatively well today. I have to watch myself, because I have less reserve for crap that comes from "that handful of kids." I did take time to thank the school counselors, because really - who counsels the counselors?

In the end, we just gotta carry on.

Thanks again.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

In reply to SkinnyG :

I've waited a day or two to collect my thoughts before i responded. 

I know somewhat what you are going through because my wife taught for 30 years and she had the same experience.  More than once.  She taught special ed and became attached to most of her students.  It is tough. I see no reason why you cannot talk to a counselor.      

Every flipping year around here one, two or more students get killed in car wrecks near the end of the school year.  It tends to numb you.            

Curtis said:

You fostered and inspired a soul to his destination.  It was just sooner than you both expected. 

This was powerful to me, thank you.

My thoughts and prayers to you and the boys family. I can not imaging the loss you are feeling. I am so sorry.