Crap your buddies did.

Back when I was in community college my buddies and I would go out drinking and I’d get dropped off at 1am-2am at my folks house. 

My one buddy had a built 1973 Chevrolet K20 4X4 that was all custom - 12” lift with 40” Ground Hawg mudder tires.  He put a roll cage inside and once felt it needed a Doug Nash 5-speed that was a disaster.  

When leaving my house at 2am he thought it was funny to open it up with a loud romp away from my house.  Wake up the entire ‘hood.   

E36 M3 - I’ve been drinking and now I have to sneak into the house.  

When one of my high school friends got his first motorcycle, a CB500, he stopped by to show it to me, but I was out for dinner with my parents. He decided to leave his "calling card" on our driveway in the form of a big burnout. The driveway had been freshly sealcoated a few days before. My father was not amused.

Then there was another guy who decided to try "urban surfing", so he decided to stand on the roof of my friend's 82 Celica while it was being driven at about 30mph on a dirt road. He stayed on for a couple of hundred feet before fallling off. When he hit the ground, he tried to run, and damn near made it before wiping out. Other than some road rash, he was fine.

Remarkably, no alcohol was involved in either incident. Then again, teenage testosterone levels are more potent than any booze.

Oh boy, where to start...

A friend with a 78 280z barely beat a train to the crossing - it was at the edge just as he cleared it. Later on he jumped over his car on his bike & blew out his knee.

At one point he got kicked out of school for selling white-cross & finished his junior year in Michigan with an aunt. Neither he nor I had our licenses, but another friend did, and I had a car, so the 2 of use drove up after the school year to bring him back - and all-3 of us took turns driving home, at well over the(then 55) speed limit. Oh and I used to jump railroad tracks with that car all the time.

Same friends did car surfing on my 70 Ford XL convertible, standing on the hood, holding the door open while “skiing” their feet on the ground, and doing the same off the trunk lid. On pavement. At 80mph. 

I was frequently the designated-driver in high school since I don’t drink & always liked the opportunity to drive different vehicles. One time the 3 of us were out in one of their parents 85(? First year of FWD) Buick Regal, they both dropped acid & one of them had a really bad trip thinking he was dying & E36 M3. I just turned up the radio, kept driving, and let the other guy deal with that. 

Ugh, I really need to write a book. 

Enterprise is the only car rental company “my friend” hasn’t been blacklisted by.

Nope, not a chance.

I'm glad my buddies and I did all our stupid E36 M3 in a time before everyone having a camera in their cell phone.

We were a harmless but curious cadre of kids and peers....Mom always said that she should have sold donuts at the end of the driveway so that the money she made from the cops showing up would cover the legal fees. No convictions cause money does solve problems. "Stop getting caught" was the moral lesson that stuck with me and my friends. Most of our transgressions were chemicals that resulted in very loud noises when reacted and motorized parts collections that maybe should not have been on public roads. We blamed most of the stuff on "Tom" cause it was easy to believe if you knew him.

Pete

In reply to ShawnG :

I’m with you.

There’s a Weezer song called Let’s Get Dangerous that lists a bunch of stuff he did as a kid with his friends that is pretty humorous. 

In reply to poopshovel again :

I'm on Enterprise list as well :( all the national companies share list now. They don't take kindly to returning 16v Neons after having run a 175 dry shot through them. I miss dealers have upper intake manifolds and gaskets for $86. It ran a 13.1 before the unpleasantness began. They also don't appreciate returning a vehicle with an alligator in the boot. 

Other fun nonsense, jumping a foxbody far enough to snap it's rear upon landing. Cliff diving off of a friends RV as he drove over bridges. And teaching my friend who was 14 at the time (I was 16) how to drive his father's 850csi while I laid facedown in the partially reclined passenger seat was a GSW to the hindquarters. 

Stories may come out when the topic is relevant, or while passing a jar around a fire. I managed to keep my shenanigans off the internet in my youth, and they'll stay that way.

What is the statute of limitations in the United States? Cuz most of the good stories I don't want to tell if it'll get me in trouble

I got a bunch on camera, dont really want them showing back up. 

I have some tales that shall never be published on the internet. I am more than happy to tell them in person. Heck, we might even add another to the list.

ShawnG said:

Nope, not a chance.

I'm glad my buddies and I did all our stupid E36 M3 in a time before everyone having a camera in their cell phone.

This reminds me that, because I've always copied files from old phones to new ones, I probably still have a video from my first cameraphone of a friend's friend ghost-ridin' his girlfriend's whip and then pulling a sweet FWD dorifto into a curb and giving it a nasty case of reverse oni-kyan which we then tried, with little success, to leverage and winch back into place.

Allegedly some friends and I would go out to the lake at night and pull people behind various cars on snowboards. The kicker was that this was summer so the roads were always bone dry. We'd stop when the rider would fall or hit the shoulder and then fall. Somehow no one got hurt, even though we were pulling at 25-30 mph. We called it Roadboarding. 

Also, plus one million on being just barely too old for our shenanigans to exist on the internet. 

A friend once drove his VW Beetle into a supermarket through the double opening automatic doors. Same friend, I jumped on the back bumper of said Beetle to jump up and down while holding the rain gutters.  Bugger got me by throwing it in reverse and speeding backward towards a bat E36 M3 crazy guard dog that was chained up outside the opposite unit were we were working.  Very luckily it was winter so I had multiple layers on and a thick leather flying jacket.  The dog took a chunk out of the jacket and the clothes underneath as I ran like hell.  The bite coincided with the full extension of its chain otherwise I'd have lost a chunk of arm.  I'm really glad phone cameras and the internet didn't exist in the mid-80's.

They put the roof down on my TR8 convertible one night as a small tropical depression rolled thru.  Got out of work in the morning and there were several inches of water inside my car.  Same group of guys soaked two rolls of brown paper towels from the mens room in water, and then proceeded to wrap another guys car with it as they were tossing water onto the towels.  It was 5 degrees that night.  Picture a car encased in 1/2" of frozen plywood and you will get the idea.  My dad's buddies picked up his tiny Fiat something or another, carried it up the steps, and placed it in front of the high school doors so nobody could get out after last bell.  My dad took the heat for it and didn't get to graduate with his class.

I too am blessed by my formative and rebellious years being before social media and the prevalence of digital cameras and cell phones.

There are things that I'll only talk about with those that were there. 

There are things that we did with knowledge we learned in chemistry that we performed on a much larger scale outside of the classroom. 

We stockpiled fireworks on the 5th of July sales every year.  That's all I'll say about that.

All my cronies and I had some form of ATV, we were basically a "biker gang" on the dirt roads, one of two times I've been shot at involved a late night, "cruise."

My grandparent's farm is about a mile SW of the USAF's C-130 practice Drop Zone.  Allegedly, a Yamaha can outrun a Hummve.

In college I drove my Jeep up these stairs, as a short cut to get to a BBQ cook off contest.  That was a long time ago, so I don't think I'm the reason they're under construction when the Google maps folks drove by.
https://www.google.com/maps/@36.0686562,-94.1685252,3a,75y,270h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sl7JgrMXv5CZzU0HvdVitSA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3Dl7JgrMXv5CZzU0HvdVitSA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D140.43285%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656

I wrote several more things, but deleted them. 

Some friends and I ended up hanging out with members of the RCMP tac team (riot squad). 

NOBODY parties harder than people from law enforcement.

That's all I'm going to say about it.

When coin op photocopy machines had just come out, our high school installed one.  They also installed a dollar bill changer next to it.

It doesn't take much imagination to guess what happened next... suffice to say the authorities were not amused when all the coins were gone from the bill changer and it was full of photocopied dollar bills.

My fun stories are way too recent to be telling on here. And annoyingly some of them are saved in people's snapchat stories. Damned smart phones...

The summer after I graduated from high school the parking lot got fenced.

I had one of the top SAT scores in the county, an A average on most of my test results, and graduated with a 1.8 GPA.

Points off for attendance.

I believe the the general consensus is that god favors drunks, idiots, and children.

I was a drunk idiot when I was a child. 

This thread make me realize how boring of a kid I was.

The dorm I lived in the first couple years at college sat at the top of a grass hill above a big unimproved sports field. The field was commonly referred to as the Burger Bowl as it had been the site of a Burger King back in the day. 

Anyway, there was only one small parking lot below the dorm opposite the field and it had about 3 sets of stairs up to the dorm. When move out day came along the parking lot was way past overcrowded and I needed to get my crap out, including a heavy lift and stuff. I decided to drive my pickup out into the burger bowl and up the grass hill beside the stairs coming up from the bowl. I could drive right up to the door.

So... short bed F100, big block V8, stick shift, big wide ass street tires...up the not small grass hill.  Lost traction halfway up. Backed down, took a second run. Little further. Backed out in the middle of the field, tacked it up and dropped the clutch. Tires spinning, grass going everywhere, big block screaming I come tearing up the grass hillside sliding all over. I finally slid to a stop at the top of the hill between a couple of decorative landscape trees. When i shut the truck off I realized people were cheering. Didnt realize I had an audience....

Loaded the truck with a quickness and hauled ass back the same way before the cops showed up...

There are bunch of others but....statute of limitations may not be out....