Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
4/20/09 2:39 p.m.

... wondrous item known as Bea Arthur's Armadillo Candle Lube and Neapolitan Ice Cream Topping Extraordinare. This glop shot to the top of the sales charts....

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
4/20/09 7:06 p.m.

...when its use as a tire mounting lubricant became known. Alas, as winter became spring, tire technicians became frustrated as the formerly firm paste began to...

Toyman01
Toyman01 Reader
4/20/09 7:50 p.m.

...evaporate at an alarming rate. The vapor proved to be toxic to Armored Armadillos. PETA promptly...

4cylndrfury
4cylndrfury HalfDork
4/21/09 2:16 p.m.

...hired polar bear woman to be their spokesperson durring 30 second TV commercials set to air during the...

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
4/22/09 5:04 p.m.

24 Hours of Lemons scheduled for Capitol Hill in Washington...

nickel_dime
nickel_dime Dork
4/22/09 9:23 p.m.

, it will be run on the beltway but you'll have to look hard to see it. The race looks just like the normal traffic in that area. Mean while back at the ranch...

Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
4/25/09 7:04 p.m.

... Bea Arthur has passed on http://www.comcast.net/articles/entertainment/20090425/US.Obit.Arthur/ meaning sadly she no longer is a part of the armadillo lube fantasy. So Jay Lamm...

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
4/28/09 6:38 p.m.

denied any knowledge of the 747 buzzing Manhattan until Hillary declared...

nickel_dime
nickel_dime Dork
4/28/09 7:25 p.m.

it stained her pant suit. The stain looked like...

neon4891
neon4891 SuperDork
4/28/09 8:52 p.m.

...the Virgin Mary. it was propmtly put on ebay with a starting bid of...

Toyman01
Toyman01 Reader
4/28/09 9:20 p.m.

...$19.95 plus $6.95 shipping and handling for a limited time only and not available in stores. Chuck Norris bid on it but wouldn't pay more than...

4cylndrfury
4cylndrfury HalfDork
4/29/09 7:53 a.m.

...the cost of an awesome auger because the auger comes with a free drill, but wait, if you call right now, for a limited time, cuz they cant do this all day, chucks awesome auger also included a free pair of...

neon4891
neon4891 SuperDork
4/29/09 8:03 a.m.

...chin-fists, beat that Billy.

Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
4/29/09 2:51 p.m.

Did somebody say 'chin fists?'

Billy Mayes saw this and immediately exclaimed 'I can sell chin fists!' So he...

neon4891
neon4891 SuperDork
5/2/09 8:44 p.m.

finaly launched his "Chin Fist" infomercial in time to save the thread from page 3. Unfortunatly It did not save him from all the facebook users who listed him in the top 5 "people to punch in the face"

4cylndrfury
4cylndrfury Dork
7/23/09 6:30 a.m.

unfortunately, facebook crashed, and the time warp resulting from the black hole of despair felt by all facebookers after having to finally start a twitter account sucked a majority of the eastern seaboard back to the 90s. The best- or worst depending on your opinion - of the 90s was...

(back from the dead)

cb
cb New Reader
7/23/09 7:43 p.m.

the simple fact that i actually had hair which made me look like.......

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo Dork
7/23/09 7:46 p.m.

Roseanne Barr on a good day. Fortunately, this was only visable during a total eclipse when the ...

cb
cb New Reader
7/23/09 7:47 p.m.

bright light emminating from the area around her...................

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
7/23/09 9:05 p.m.

...provided enough solar energy to recharge ten Chevy Volts, if only...

cb
cb New Reader
7/23/09 10:21 p.m.

we are able to find someone short enough to fit in the area that is................

mel_horn
mel_horn HalfDork
7/24/09 4:13 p.m.

roughly the size of a Jersey City courtroom...

cb
cb Reader
7/24/09 9:40 p.m.

but little did we realize that we would have to wait in line behind...........

DustoffDave
DustoffDave New Reader
7/25/09 12:31 p.m.

...Donald Trump, his hair, and a frenzied mob of...

CagleRacing
CagleRacing New Reader
1/5/10 10:14 p.m.

my hometown of...

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