Do any of you adults know WTF you're doing?

You have to decide where you want to go in your life at some point, if you're like me and didn't bother you will probably end up in a dead end job at 40 years old. I finally figured it out though, I'll be 49 this year and I got a job in IT over 3 years ago so now I get paid for what I used to do for free and for fun for family and friends. So I'm happy in my career.

Finances I was not interested in at all -until my wife convinced me to do the Dave Ramsey program in my 30's after more than a decade of asking me to, and while we will never be wealthy, we will be able to maintain our middle class lifestyle until we pass. It's just dead nuts simple and boring, but it works for us, one less thing to think about and we will be totally debt free in 3 years (we only have a mortgage left), and we have passed it on to our children, while my oldest pretended not to notice, now that she is married and just had a baby, They figured out how to make it work with one income and she is a stay at home mom.

Kids college. Our outlook was to build a small egg to boost whatever scholarships and grants and money from jobs they can get to pay for college and to live at home while going to school with the goal to graduate debt free. Other than the investment($25 a month per child from age 0-18 in a mutual fund) the kids have to provide for all other costs. If they want to go into debt for college we will not back that play, or the loan. My oldest got an A plus scholarship which paid for two full years of community college, which she quit after the first year but didn't have to pay back so at least she is debt free. The youngest says she doesn't want to go to college, but is into STEM at school so that may change but their future is up to them. You are absolutely free to help your kids out financially after they become adults, but you are not required to pay for college, its just a nice thing to do.

There's some interesting stuff about these questions on the Mr. Money Moustach forums.  It's primarily about striving for financial independence/early retirement.

Hey guys,

 Thanks for all the responses. I was slammed at work yesterday afternoon, and today as well, so I'm late in my response here. 

We bought the house in August of 2005, refinanced it around 2 or 3 years later. When we refinanced we went with a 25 year mortgage because I figured why not. We currently owe in the neighborhood of $176k I think, but I can check when I get home. The interest rate is 3.5% currently. Payments have gone up over the last 5 plus years due to our taxes in town going crazy due to a new elementary school, fire station, and now a police station. We have little debt like I said which is only one credit card, and my wife's Rav4 lease which is pretty inexpensive compared to the last car payment, and I don't mind paying for one really reliable car. Don't go on vacation, no vices aside from I like eating which shows. Still pay for TV(mainly for sports which seems dumb now), and don't generally waste money, but I'm sure we could be a lot better when it comes to being frugal.

Call your mortgage broker and ask about refinancing with a 15 year mortgage. I'd bet you save $100 a month or so.

mtn (Forum Supporter) said:

Call your mortgage broker and ask about refinancing with a 15 year mortgage. I'd bet you save $100 a month or so.

AND a lot of accrued interest.

Then put that extra $100 (or whatever) into retirement savings every month.

Nope. Just out here trying to have a good time. 

I got smart and married a sugga momma with a plan. Well at least part of that is true. Wife's father is an accountant and their family has known what to do with money and retirement for generations. She's a teacher and will have full retirement in 11 years from the school. House will be paid off in about 19 months and all of THAT money will go into our other reirement accounts (IRA's, 401k's. 403b etc). No kids to worry about college/school/marriage etc. No car payments or credit card debt. We buy everything cash and house improvements are something we save up for and have a stashed fund to cover. 

So while I have absolutely no clue what's going on, she does. So I consider myself lucky

I spend money like a drunken sailor on race cars, motorhomes and plastic model kits. 

I also drink rum and whiskey like a drunken sailor. 

I sold my kids to the gypsies 20 years ago. Every few months I get a postcard. 

Did I mention I also have a boat to waste money on. 

I married a rich girl from Texas who also drinks like a drunken sailor. She plays the stock market with her own money and pays my credit card bills. Who is this Dave Ramsey you speak of? 

She loves my dogs. I have a lot of dogs. I spend lots of money on vet bills, dog groomers and expensive dog food. I give generously to dog rescue groups. 

Yes. I know exactly what I am doing. 

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Snowdoggie said:

I spend money like a drunken sailor on race cars, motorhomes and plastic model kits. 

I also drink rum and whiskey like a drunken sailor. 

I sold my kids to the gypsies 20 years ago. Every few months I get a postcard. 

Did I mention I also have a boat to waste money on. 

 

I married a rich girl from Texas who also drinks like a drunken sailor. She plays the stock market with her own money and pays my credit card bills. Who is this Dave Ramsey you speak of? 

She loves my dogs. I have a lot of dogs. I spend lots of money on vet bills, dog groomers and expensive dog food. I give generously to dog rescue groups. 

 

Yes. I know exactly what I am doing. 

 

I nominate this for post of the month.   Pics or it didn't happen!

No.  No, I'm 43 and I have absolutely no berkeleying clue what the berkeley I'm doing.

Wife is 38

I have a 2 and 4 year old.

We're up to my eyeballs in debt.  I buy dumbass E36 M3 to make me feel better.

I expect I'll be working as long as I'm above ground.

Hopefully I won't become a burden on my kids.

frenchyd said:

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Huh? He's been paying his mortgage for nearly 20 years. The cost of refinancing is not going to wipe out 18 years of payments. How much do you think closing costs are for a refinance? 

I literally closed my refinance a few weeks ago. It was $7000 for the refinance that dropped my interest rate 1.75%. I will continue to pay the amount I have been, which ends up being 1.5-2 extra payments per year. The interest saved in just a few years will have made the refinance worth it. 

My 75 year old grandmother would turn the edges of her eyelids up to the other side to scare the grand kids. It was freaky. 
 

I'm convinced we're all kids at heart.  

frenchyd said:

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Holy cow, this is bad. 

Do the math yourself. I threw ballpark figures in and came up with a break even of roughly 3-6 years depending on the current rate and other details I didn't have specifics on. Unless you're planning on paying the house off in 3-6 years, closing costs are pretty damn low.

Stefan (Forum Supporter) said:

No.  No, I'm 43 and I have absolutely no berkeleying clue what the berkeley I'm doing.

Wife is 38

I have a 2 and 4 year old.

We're up to my eyeballs in debt.  I buy dumbass E36 M3 to make me feel better.

I expect I'll be working as long as I'm above ground.

Hopefully I won't become a burden on my kids.

This will sound harsh but Im having trouble wording it better:  I hope you will be encouraging your kids to learn finances or they are likely to make the same mistakes.  I meet a lot of people who have the "berkeley it, I'mma work 'til I die" attitude.  That's fine.  But don't teach your kids (directly or indirectly) that it is the only way.

Stefan (Forum Supporter) said:

No.  No, I'm 43 and I have absolutely no berkeleying clue what the berkeley I'm doing.

Wife is 38

I have a 2 and 4 year old.

We're up to my eyeballs in debt.  I buy dumbass E36 M3 to make me feel better.

I expect I'll be working as long as I'm above ground.

Hopefully I won't become a burden on my kids.

I plan to work until I keel over, mainly because I hate golf and card games and shuffleboard and all that other crap that old people do. 

That and I really like my job. 

I'm closing in on 40 soon and the only thing I've really learned is that I don't know nearly what I think I know, and try to find people who do, and then listen to them.  My wife and I see eye to eye on living below our means, so we weened ourself off of fancy stuff early in our marriage and that's helped a hell of a lot considering we're never going to be rich (I'm an artist, she's a teacher).  Basic stuff like not eating out all the time, no cable, upcycling or refurbishing, being late adopters on electronic stuff, and generally driving old used stuff for most of our lives.  Other than that, my attempts at adulting have largely been an experiment.  This forum is amazingly full of useful stuff from all over the map so I really appreciate insights like this.

classicJackets (FS) said:

This year I am going to cross-shop our home/auto insurance and see if we can bundle to knock off costs there

I'd strongly encourage it.  The general insurance business model seems to get you in at a low rate and slowly jack it up over time with no increase in incentives or coverage.  A bit like cable services.  You've gotta jump ship to get in at a lower price with the same benefits.  We did exactly that last year after 15 years with the same insurance company, but they wouldn't insure my camper.  After all those years of loyalty, they wouldn't budge.  Went with a different company, gave us better benefits and we save a couple hundred a year....just be advised that like you said, they won't roll out the red carpet unless you're willing to dump ALL your insurables with them (autos + home + whatever else). 

ScottyB said:

I'm closing in on 40 soon and the only thing I've really learned is that I don't know nearly what I think I know, and try to find people who do, and then listen to them.  My wife and I see eye to eye on living below our means, so we weened ourself off of fancy stuff early in our marriage and that's helped a hell of a lot considering we're never going to be rich (I'm an artist, she's a teacher).  Other than that, my attempts at adulting have largely been an experiment.  This forum is amazingly full of useful stuff from all over the map.

classicJackets (FS) said:

This year I am going to cross-shop our home/auto insurance and see if we can bundle to knock off costs there

I'd strongly encourage it.  The general insurance business model seems to get you in at a low rate and slowly jack it up over time with no increase in incentives or coverage.  A bit like cable services.  You've gotta jump ship to get in at a lower price with the same benefits.  We did exactly that last year after 15 years with the same insurance company, but they wouldn't insure my camper.  After all those years of loyalty, they wouldn't budge.  Went with a different company, gave us better benefits and we save a couple hundred a year....just be advised they won't roll out the red carpet unless you're willing to dump ALL your insurables with them (autos + home + whatever else). 

Yep. Seriously. I had the same car insurance for years. They started slowly raising my rates. I started calling around and saved a few hundred a year by jumping ship. I couldn't get the same deal on homeowners insurance though. Your mileage may vary. 

Totally cut the cord on cable. I was paying over $200 a month for TV. Now it's Netflix and Amazon Prime, and an antenna for local channels. Cable is the biggest money waste ever. 

In reply to ProDarwin :

Yup, we're trying do better and this pandemic has helped with some of that.

Joining a community of like-minded people so you can learn from them and ask questions is really, really important. There are a couple big Personal Finance communities on the net:

Dave Ramsey is a great place to start. I have issues with his personal beliefs but it's undeniable that he's helped many, many people make good financial choices. 

Mr. Money Mustache is one of the most popular of the FIRE (Financial Independence/Retire Early) bloggers. If outside-the-box thinking appeals to you then you should check him out

Early Retirement Extreme/Your Money or Your Life-Actually two different communities that I'm lumping together because they are both on the far end of the Personal Finance spectrum. Prepare to have your beliefs regarding money, value, and what is possible challenged.

Personal finance is the art of buying health, happiness, and purpose, for as little money (or life energy) as possible. It's one area that I don't recommend faking it till you make it-the rest of it you can make up as you go.

Snowdoggie said:

......and all that other crap that old people do. 

 

Crap old people do?

https://www.verywellhealth.com/sex-in-nursing-homes-197767

Datsun310Guy said:

Snowdoggie said:

......and all that other crap that old people do. 

 

Crap old people do?

https://www.verywellhealth.com/sex-in-nursing-homes-197767

Probably not safe for work. 

frenchyd said:

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Are you berking KIDDING me here?

Can we get a #frenchyalert tag for these posts?

Duke said:

frenchyd said:

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Are you berking KIDDING me here?

Can we get a #frenchyalert tag for these posts?

 

He's at 3&1/2% now according to his statement.  He's had the loan 8 years.    If he sticks with a 25 year loan  at around 2.85%  Then  Add closing costs, appraisal fees,  T&I.  ( remember he's said those have increased significantly  so they will escrow more. To cover that increase) There might be a slight lowering in payment but you start all over again where the first few years are mostly interest payments and very little the principle. 

frenchyd said:

Duke said:

frenchyd said:

In reply to Mazdax605 :

At most you will save slightly less than 1%.  With the cost to refinance you'll basically come close to starting over. 
In short don't refinance unless you are in trouble. 

Are you berking KIDDING me here?

Can we get a #frenchyalert tag for these posts?

 

He's at 3&1/2% now according to his statement.  He's had the loan 8 years.    If he sticks with a 25 year loan  at around 2.85%  Then  Add closing costs, appraisal fees,  T&I.  ( remember he's said those have increased significantly  so they will escrow more. To cover that increase) There might be a slight lowering in payment but you start all over again where the first few years are mostly interest payments and very little the principle. 

Frenchy, this is just wrong. 

• First, he's had the loan 12 years, give or take
• There is no reason for him to get another 25 year loan when he has less than 15 years on it - he would get a 15, or 10 year mortgage, unless he wants a lower payment
• T&I does not matter at all in this discussion. They won't go up or down no matter if he refinances or doesn't or if he puts his underwear on backwards tomorrow
• "Slight lowering in payment"... Yeah, by like $100 a month, minimum. The break even is definitely short enough to take advantage. 
• You need to check rates again. And call an actual mortgage broker, not just the internet. I'm refinacing a 30 year mortgage at 2.35% right now.

You are stuck in some world where the numbers are made up and the money doesn't matter. Wow.