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Datsun310Guy
Datsun310Guy MegaDork
4/15/22 10:01 p.m.

I think it's how he asked.  He didn't make it easy to decline.  

Our kitchen contractor bailed last summer and we became the general.  I asked my electrician friend if he was interested in the electrical part.   

I told him I'm looking to spend $3000 on a lot of work and would he be interested in side work?  I then said I totally understand if he's not interested, too busy, or it's awkward for either of us and it's okay for him to decline.  He took a pass and I used another guy.   

Your guy should ask in that way - make it so when you say no he's totally cool with your reply.   

NOHOME
NOHOME MegaDork
4/15/22 10:56 p.m.

In reply to Teh E36 M3 :

And you are correct in that I do cherry pick the attendees. I suspect they act as ballast against those that would invite themselves. 

docwyte
docwyte PowerDork
4/16/22 1:51 p.m.

I do enjoy working on things with my friends.  I just want to pick who and when I work with,

Slippery
Slippery UberDork
4/16/22 2:19 p.m.

At one point in my life I was highly involved in the S2000 community down here. I did probably 10 clutch changes for people and would rarely say no to a request for a valve adjustment or a suspension swap. This would involve people having to leave their car at my house many times, like when a valve adjustment was needed. 

I did all this in my spare time and never asked for compensation. All I always asked was for the owner to be present, help me and learn so I would not do it again. 

Little by little I started to realize that no one would ever bring or buy lunch. Rarely would anyone offer help when I needed to do something to my own car. 

I just stopped helping and declined all further requests. Except for one person that to this day I am friends with and will still help. I was in my 30s back then and he was probably mid 20s and after swapping his clutch and installing a supercharger he wanted to pay me. I declined multiple times as the offer to pay was good enough for me. A week later he told me he had a new gf and wanted to take her out to a nice restaurant and asked for my advise on a restaurant I thought was good so he could take her there. He later came by the house with an rc car for my then 3 year old son and a gift card to that restaurant so that me and my wife could go out. He can use my garage/knowledge any day. 

Just say no. That's it. 

This is what my house looked like on a typical weekend 15 years ago, none of those S2000s were mine:





rustybugkiller
rustybugkiller Dork
4/16/22 2:49 p.m.

"I haven't cleaned the blood stains from the last guy that misused my tools"

I bet he'll never ask again.

NY Nick
NY Nick Dork
4/16/22 2:57 p.m.

In reply to Slippery :

That was very cool of you to help and kind of crap that most people didn't do something to show their appreciation. 
good on the one dude. That is a great way to thank someone!

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