64 65 66
MyMiatas
MyMiatas New Reader
6/22/22 11:59 p.m.

This one came to mind

How do you make antifreeze?

 

 

 

You take away her nighty.

Brett_Murphy (Agent of Chaos)
Brett_Murphy (Agent of Chaos) MegaDork
6/28/22 1:49 p.m.

What is the best way to describe a trout wearing a bow tie?

So-fish-ticated. 

Indy - Guy
Indy - Guy UltimaDork
6/28/22 2:37 p.m.

"Hey Dad,  Can you help me out ? "

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Sure.  Which way did you come in? "

 

preach (dudeist priest)
preach (dudeist priest) Dork
6/30/22 5:47 p.m.

Boost Springsteen and the Eaton Band 

twin ecoboost Turbos (left and right) and a clutch driven Supercharger for sale for $400 all together.

read details below

Has the past.... jesus.... two years really gotten you down?
Need something to lift your spirits and brighten your days?
Looking for a Spring project to bring joy and meaning back into your bleak and melodramatic existence?
Interested in taking out 18 months of pent up frustration on an unsuspecting engine block?
Feeling like you have a deep dark void inside of you that can only be filled by making poor decisions that your family, friends, and most certainly any nearby neighbors will end up paying the price for?

Then Boy do I have something for you. Or… 3 things for you technically.

BOOST. BOOST. and then one more BOOST for good measure.

now, I know what you’re thinking. There is a lot of debate on the internets these days as to which BOOST is better.
Is it better to “StuStuStu” or is it better to “WhiiiiiiiiiiiineWhiiiiiiiine”?
Well I say, “why not both?”
Why not “StuStuStu” and “WhiiiiiineWhiiiiiiiiiine”? and hell…. Throw another “StuStuStu” in there just to make sure you fill that dark void inside of you we were talking about earlier.

I’m offering you TWO Ford Motorcraft Ecoboost Turbos off of a 2018 Expedition Platinum, and One Supercharger out of a Mercedes-Benz SLK230.

The Turbos are BorgWarner K03 turbochargers, pushing about 7-8psi Each (14-16 together), and bringing Ford’s little 3.5L v6 in the expedition up to 460ftlbs of tq. Waste Gates are included.

The Supercharger is an Eaton 18036 unit, that put about 7 PSI into their little 2.3l 4 cylinder and gave it about 210 ftlbs of tq.
but wait, there’s more!
Do you remember in Mad Max (the original 2 not the newer ones) when Max had a switch, when he wanted to Really outrun some post-apocalyptic junkies, that would engage and disengage his big Weiand 871 Supercharger sticking through the hood ? (*drools in scott injector hat*).
Ever seen videos on the internet where people say how that’s not a real thing and it’s impossible?
Yeah, well you can be the king of the internet now and tell them all “WELL ACTUALLY……” because this here Mercedes Supercharger has an electronically controlled Clutch on the drive pulley (think like an AC compressor pulley clutch engagement) that allows you to Engage, and Disengage, the Blower At WILL.
Originally this was controlled by the ECU, but forget that crap.
Hook this up to a switch and tell anyone that asks you about it - “Two Days ago I saw a Truck that could haul that Tanker”.
Don’t explain yourself when they ask what the hell that means, just drive off into the sunset.
You should probably think about getting a dog to ride shotgun if you don’t already have one.

Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah, 2 Turbos with wastegates and 1 Supercharger with an electronically engaged clutch.

I’m selling them.

Find yourself a Clapped out 1980s Something-Or-Other from your uncle’s house, drag it into your front yard, yank an LSBlahBlahBlah out of a junk yard, do absolutely NOTHING to it (seriously, like, don’t even check and see if its seized or anything. It’s fine), drop it in Clappy-Mc-Clapped-Out, and start bolting on these Turbos and Supercharger.
The Supercharger is tube in and out, so it doesn’t need to actually sit ontop of and bolt directly up to some crazy intake manifold or anything, make yourself an accessory bracket so it’s in line with a belt somewhere and you’re good to go.
GET PLUMBING!

so yeah,
I’m looking for $400 for all 3 of these. Cash only. Pick up in Weymouth.

I’m NOT splitting them up.
I repeat, I Am NOT Splitting These Up. For 2 reasons.
1 – I Don’t wanna.
2 – I want someone to bolt all 3 of these to an engine and make poor life choices.
3 – Because YOU deserve it.

hey, it’s been a rough past year.
TREAT YO SELF!
I’m doing this for YOU.

seriously though,
blow something up for me.
do it for me, do it for America, do it for aMErica.
I feel dead inside.




also, if you want to message me questions, read bellow and see if this interaction answers any of them for you.

Buyer - Is This Available?
Me - Yes, This Is Available!
Buyer - Will This Fit My car?
Me - Will a Bald Eagle Fit Perched on the Top of an American Flag?
Buyer - what?
Me - With enough elbow grease and determination you can make anything fit anywhere. Physical space is an illusion and time is just a prison.
Buyer - I drive a Mustang
Me - well that narrows it down. yeah. sure. it'll fit.
Buyer - Will I need to pull my engine?
Me - ...... ? no. you might need to remove your headrest though. do you feel up to the challenge?
Buyer - huh?
Me - Nevermind.
Buyer - This is my daily driver, and I'm not really good with working on cars
Me - Well this sounds like the perfect starter project for you.
Buyer - does it come with instructions?
Me - sure. I'll draw you a really pretty picture on a dirty napkin
Buyer - ok. I'll come tomorrow
Me - what time tomorrow? I work Monday-Friday 7am to 6pm.
Buyer - i'll be there tomorrow at noon
Me - yeah, see tomorrow is wednesday. and noon is between 7am and 6pm. so i won't be there. so.... no.
Buyer - I'll come thursday at 2
Me - swing and a miss. strike two. Yeah. Thursday is part of Monday to Friday, and 2 is between 7am and 6pm. want to try one more time?
Buyer - I will come on friday?
Me - is that a question? you can come friday as long as it's after 630pm. does that work for you?
Buyer - yes. friday
Me - ok cool. here's my number (xxxxx). I'll give you my address for friday night
Me - hey there. never heard from you. you still coming friday?
Me - hey there, you coming tomorrow still?
Me - so, are you showing up tonight?
Buyer on saturday - I'll come to pick up monday at noon.

- don't be this guy

93EXCivic
93EXCivic MegaDork
7/6/22 7:45 p.m.

A while ago I tried to make a pandemic jokes. Nobody laughed at the time but eventually everyone got it.

Crxpilot
Crxpilot HalfDork
7/6/22 11:06 p.m.
CJ
CJ Dork
7/9/22 1:05 p.m.

A man walks into a Russian market. 

“How much are the eggs?”

“$5 for a dozen.”

“That much? They are just $3 at the other store down the street.”

“Then why don’t you buy your eggs there?”

“Because they are sold out.”

“Well, when we don’t have any eggs, they are $3 at us too.”

759NRNG
759NRNG UberDork
7/10/22 3:20 p.m.

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

 

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

“Hit him again,” the 5-year-old said

“He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!”

No Time
No Time SuperDork
7/20/22 8:08 a.m.

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
 THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
 SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
 THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
 THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
 THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
 THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
 THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
 THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
 HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
 HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
 THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
 "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

64 65 66
Our Preferred Partners
KFLYvBtICDQcgP9HIdJJScaJFx5ClBHhpqStOKf8LAtsGeHcP76MJ4YOhsJqjV0x