Minor Confession Thread

I have invented several new sports at work. Many of them likely to get me in trouble. I won't say fired, because even showing up blackout drunk will only get you sent adrift. 

Sport#1- berkeleying with the time clock. We recently had a new time clock installed. Uses fingerprints to verify. Also measures total accuracy of a given sample. My low score is 21%. Lowest is 20%- I was beaten by a co-worker. I also learned in the process that it's not a failsafe system, and that 2 insufficient readings will default to in/out privilege regardless of it's accuracy. I've punched out with the wrong hand before. 

Sport# 2- polishing whatever I feel like. This started with a small screwdriver that for some reason got sharpened. I took it one step further and sharpened it as good as I could with a $5 stone. I then took it one more step and got out some polishing compound and some scrap shirt material and put a shine on it. Shiniest prison shank ever. This lead to me polishing random copper fittings I found, a brass shark bite, and now, a small section of my stainless steel paint counter. Shining things up is very meditative. 

 #3 and my favorite- malicious enforcement of the golden rule. You know the one. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I try and act as though everyone is my friend, or I'm at least cordial. However- I'm not a real big fan of attitudes, and I can afford to take a few years off. So when someone comes through my door on some bullE36 M3, I've taken to giving right back. People say killing with kindness. I don't subscribe to that news letter. You come in and start with the attitude, I'm gonna assume that's what you want in return. We're a southern state with a huge religious population. I know y'all been taught about jesus in Sunday school. You know the golden rule. Don't be surprised with I have no problem busting your berkeleyery parade. 

#2. Uh...that's a prison shank. On the bright side,  if it's a Craftsman, lifetime guarantee. Its life, or yours.

I've found myself muttering "berkeley it" to an inordinate amount of things lately.  I haven't determined if that's good or bad.

Appleseed said:

#2. Uh...that's a prison shank. On the bright side,  if it's a Craftsman, lifetime guarantee. Its life, or yours.

Actually a miniature stihl screwdriver they used the give with new saws for adjusting carbs. We have a lot of them. 

Last night I came in here to confess something minor, but promptly forgot what it was as soon as I opened the thread.

My confession:  this morning, I still have no idea what it was.

In reply to Duke :

So, actually...a minor win?

In reply to Appleseed :

Fair enough.

[edit]  Not the confession, but another one:

I love my Volvo wagon, but some part of me wishes I had bought a widebody Charger instead.

I want to live in the cop show universe where cars never need new tires. So many murders traced by the tires a vehicle left the factory with. 

I was at a big apartment party in the mid-1980's - mainly those in their 20's were drinking and smoking.  

I bummed a cigarette off a guy and set off the hallway smoke alarm.  When the fire trucks came everyone thought it was the old guy that owned a business some worked at and somebody blamed him.  He took the blame since he had crashed the party and was sort of loaded.   

Duke said:

In reply to Appleseed :

Fair enough.

[edit]  Not the confession, but another one:

I love my Volvo wagon, but some part of me wishes I had bought a widebody Charger instead.

 

I believe we would refer to that part as "the testicles".

RevRico said:

I want to live in the cop show universe where cars never need new tires. So many murders traced by the tires a vehicle left the factory with. 

The downside of that is if your car has an off and goes over even the slightest embankment, it will promptly explode.  

wae said:

Duke said:

In reply to Appleseed :

Fair enough.

[edit]  Not the confession, but another one:

I love my Volvo wagon, but some part of me wishes I had bought a widebody Charger instead.

 

I believe we would refer to that part as "the testicles".

 

Small part of the brain left over from early human development: Medulla Cro Magnon.

Appleseed said:

wae said:

Duke said:

In reply to Appleseed :

Fair enough.

[edit]  Not the confession, but another one:

I love my Volvo wagon, but some part of me wishes I had bought a widebody Charger instead.

 

I believe we would refer to that part as "the testicles".

 

Small part of the brain left over from early human development: Medulla Cro Magnon.

The actual thinking part of my brain keeps reminding me that I get bored with one-trick straight line acceleration very very easily, especially since 98% of my driving is done in traffic and 100% is done on speed limited roads.

I have a strange and sudden desire to build a clone of the North American Touring Car Championship Dodge Status as a Challenge car.

In reply to NickD :

Uh...

In reply to Appleseed :

Yeah, but I want it to be an actual Status, no offense to the ScAries. And super-slammed on 17s or 18s.

In reply to NickD :

Has to be 19s for authenticity.

Recent events bring this to the forefront.

i really, REALLY like the combination of turbo engine and CVT in certain late model Subarus.

not the ones with faux gears, the ones that take advantage of CVTness.

In reply to Pete. (l33t FS) :

I've had a handful of rentals over the years with CVTs that act like CVTs.  It's been a minute, but maybe recentish Nissans?  I was driving a ton of rental cars in 2017 and 2018, so it was in that era.  My engineering brain loves the idea that it just sticks the motor at the right RPM and then feathers the ratio to make the car go.  The ones that pretend to be shifting are total crap, but other than the cognitive dissonance of the engine note holding steady while the dotted lines on the pavement start moving faster I'm kind of okay with the CVT concept.

I bought a 3/4 ton truck as an engine donor for a project, haven't driven it other than the test drive, and a few feet to beach it into a snow bank, but I keep coming up with reasons I should keep it instead of tearing it apart, all that will consume money and time.  I really need to disassemble it soon.

In reply to eastsideTim :

Or does that not help? :)

After watching the lifted Miata episode of Faster with Finnegan last night I'm reading reviews on late model, stupid expensive UTVs. Watching Dave's Honda in that ep made my teeth sweat. There is also zero chance I could ever buy one, mostly because SWMBO absolutely refuses to ride in anything dune-buggy-like with me driving. She is not well suited to driving shenanigans.

In reply to wae :

Well, at least a couple of those things could be done by the S10, at least once it has a tow hitch.  The truck camper is temping, since this does have an 8' bed.

Yeah, I need to get this over to your shop and start tearing it down soon.  Going to get a paper tag on it tomorrow, then the 30 day countdown begins.  Unless I get the Impala sold and can move the tag over...

Edit:  eastsideWife mentioned we'd have time to go on camping trips if you could come over and watch Linus while we're gone.

In reply to ultraclyde (Forum Supporter) :

I let my MT On Demand subscription lapse last year.  I really need to restart it now that Faster with Finnegan is back on.

I really like the music in the new Shop-Rite commercial...even though the guy looks like he's berkeleying his salad.