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Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/17/08 3:38 p.m.
Ryan9118 wrote: How often do wenches shower? You get enough fishy smell on the ocean as it is, who wants it with their women? Atleast the Japanese girls are freshly washed and dressed up nice.

Wenches bathe once a pirate is done with them, so pretty regularly. They get sweatier in 2 minutes with a pirate then a full day of anything else.

Of course, a Ninja would never know the practices of wenches. You won't get to score with any wenches because the Pirates already got to them first.

Fishy smells and women... umm... I guess Ninjas are too busy practicing the wrong kind of sword play and eating the wrong sushi.

Dressed up nice? Again, you a Ninja clearly does not understand the goal here. Your initial error is that whole "dressed" part.

minimac
minimac Dork
12/17/08 4:06 p.m.
DILYSI Dave wrote: Terminator was a bad ass movie in 1984. The factory scene was scary as E36 M3!

Nothing was better than the original Predator. In 1987 it scared the E36 m3 outta me.

ArtOfRuin
ArtOfRuin Reader
12/17/08 4:24 p.m.

There's only one way to settle this... Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball!

Bonus: There's also Robot and Zombie teams.

PeteWW
PeteWW New Reader
12/17/08 4:47 p.m.
Salanis wrote: Great pirates who you wish you were: ...Inigo Montoya.

Inigo Montoya was a mercenary. The Dread Pirate Roberts was a pirate.

The Backyardigans were also pirates.

I watch too much TV with my kids.

neon4891
neon4891 Dork
12/17/08 4:54 p.m.

but lets asume that Inigo became the next D.P.R., Wes offered it up

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo HalfDork
12/17/08 4:59 p.m.
Salanis wrote: Star Wars is the coolest movie ever because it sufficiently covers all the bases: Ninja: Pirate: Robot: Monkey:

Arr, I voted ye up on that post. Pass a tired wench that bottle of whiskey, would ye mate?

ignorant
ignorant SuperDork
12/17/08 5:02 p.m.

sorry the phrase is butt pirate

not butt ninja.

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/17/08 5:05 p.m.
EastCoastMojo wrote: Arr, I voted ye up on that post. Pass a tired wench that bottle of whiskey, would ye mate?

Har! Har! Har! Drink up, me hardy!

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/17/08 5:06 p.m.
PeteWW wrote:
Salanis wrote: Great pirates who you wish you were: ...Inigo Montoya.
Inigo Montoya was a mercenary. The Dread Pirate Roberts was a pirate. The Backyardigans were also pirates. I watch too much TV with my kids.

Inigo Montoya was given the mantel of Dread Pirate Roberts at the end of the story.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/17/08 5:32 p.m.

I have nothing to add to this debate per sea, just stirring up some issues...

Ryan9118
Ryan9118 HalfDork
12/17/08 7:39 p.m.
Salanis wrote:
Ryan9118 wrote: How often do wenches shower? You get enough fishy smell on the ocean as it is, who wants it with their women? Atleast the Japanese girls are freshly washed and dressed up nice.
Wenches bathe once a pirate is done with them, so pretty regularly. They get sweatier in 2 minutes with a pirate then a full day of anything else. Of course, a Ninja would never know the practices of wenches. You won't get to score with any wenches because the Pirates already got to them first. Fishy smells and women... umm... I guess Ninjas are too busy practicing the wrong kind of sword play and eating the wrong sushi. Dressed up nice? Again, you a Ninja clearly does not understand the goal here. Your initial error is that whole "dressed" part.

Wrong. Wenches never shower after they've been used by other pirates, which is the way the other pirates love it. They get sweaty in 2 minutes cause they're overweight, and all the effort it takes to move around makes them winded.

Ninja's don't want to know wenches, cause they're disease ridden and filthy, duh.

I don't understand what you're getting at with the fishy smell. The point was that your dirty wenches probably reek of it. And yeah, ninja's practice bad ass sword play to hack peoples heads off. Pirates have butt-pirate meatsword fights on the open seas, all by themselves.

The Japanese girls awarded to Ninja's are only dressed until a ninja gets to them. No one ever said anything about dry humping your prize woman. The wenches are basically dudes with boobs. "Big boned" sweaty broads that burp and fart louder than you. Sorry that ninja's like real women.

Oh, and the guy in the picture above with the "she ninja" (which is clearly a pirate in drag impersonating a girl ninja to entice his shipmates) adds nothing to the coolness of pirates. Actually I think he makes it worse, cause he's such a deusch.

pinchvalve
pinchvalve SuperDork
12/17/08 10:44 p.m.

I am new to this topic, and it has me on the floor with laughter! As for Pirates Vs. Ninjas, what are the modern versions?

Pirates are now the Navy Seals:

Pretty much the baddest-ass mo fos on the planet. What are Ninjas today?

Pretty obvious I would say.

As for alcohol, you could make a case for most drinks. The Roman Gladiators went with Red Wine. British SAS go for Gin. Russian Soldiers at the front went with Vodka. French soldiers went home for a wine spritzer. From personal experiance, I can say:

Whiskey is drunk by tough men, with bushy beards, big guts and no teeth. Tough for sure, but not exactly lady friendly.

Rum is drunk on beaches where women are beautiful and half naked. Everyone is happy. We have a winner.

Luke
Luke Dork
12/17/08 11:51 p.m.

I think the SAS or SBS are more badass than the Navy seals, in their own foppish-yet-ruthless British way. Besides, there's still real pirates active today anyways.

tuffburn
tuffburn New Reader
12/18/08 2:32 a.m.
Luke wrote: I think the SAS or SBS are more badass than the Navy seals, in their own foppish-yet-ruthless British way. Besides, there's still real pirates active today anyways.

SOMALIANS!!!!

ignorant
ignorant SuperDork
12/18/08 5:28 a.m.

pirates are from somalia...

you already work for ninjas.

Wally
Wally SuperDork
12/18/08 8:42 a.m.
Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 10:45 a.m.
Ryan9118 wrote: Ninja's don't want to know wenches, cause they're disease ridden and filthy, duh.

Oh, come on. I wouldn't go so far as to call Ninjas "disease ridden and filthy". That's just being too hard on yourselves.

I don't understand what you're getting at with the fishy smell.

Of course not. Because you're a ninja.

You keep talking about how Ninjas can cut people's heads off, and they won't even know it. I heard something else similar:

That if a ninja ever manages to stab a woman, she won't feel it.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 1:01 p.m.
pinchvalve wrote: ...Pirates are now the Navy Seals:..

WHAT!?!? You are out of your mind. SEALS are much closer to Ninjas than Pirates. You are just making the connection based on their mode of transport.

Stealthy, self sustianing quiet professional warriors trained to ingress and egress undetected? Yeah, that would be SEALS, and Ninja.

Un-porfessional soldiers of fortune, preying upon the unarmed in the open sea. Taking what they don;t own, that would be a Pirate.

Guess who is actually battling the Pirates in Somolia. Thats right pumpkin, the modern Ninjas.

Ninja FTW

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 1:21 p.m.
Mental wrote:
pinchvalve wrote: ...Pirates are now the Navy Seals:..
WHAT!?!? You are out of your mind. SEALS are much closer to Ninjas than Pirates. You are just making the connection based on their mode of transport. Stealthy, self sustianing quiet professional warriors trained to ingress and egress undetected? Yeah, that would be SEALS, and Ninja. Un-porfessional soldiers of fortune, preying upon the unarmed in the open sea. Taking what they don;t own, that would be a Pirate. Guess who is actually battling the Pirates in Somolia. Thats right pumpkin, the modern Ninjas. Ninja FTW

They are the elite forces of the Navy. Navy=pirate. Sorry, you can't get around that.

That would be like me claiming a cat-burglar as a pirate because they steal stuff. Nope. Naval badasses. They blow E36 M3 up. They blow E36 M3 up under water!

And if you've ever met any Navy SEALS, they have tons of (well deserved) bravado. They have a statue at the training facility at Corado with a plaque that says something to the effect of, "This is What You Should Aspire To Be". It's the Mutha-Freakin' Creature from the Black Lagoon. Definitely a pirate attitude.

Pirates are very capable of stealth and precision. Pirates have to know their E36 M3 and be prepared for any situation.

What makes for a pirate is the attitude. You fight dirty, fight big, take what you want, give nothing back, and revel in the badassedness of life. Being a Ninja is about controlled intensity.

The SEALs do have some Ninja aspects to them (few people are 100% Ninja or 100% pirate), but they are definitely more Pirate than ninja.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 1:37 p.m.
Salanis wrote: ... Being a Ninja is about controlled intensity...

Your words.

From the Navy Seal Website;

A tactical force with strategic impact, NSW mission areas include special reconnaissance (SR), direct action (DA), unconventional warfare, combating terrorism, foreign internal defense, information warfare, security assistance, counter-drug operations, personnel recovery and hydrographic reconnaissance. NSW core training is focused on SR and DA - critical skills needed to combat current and future terrorist's threats. Although NSW personnel comprise less than one percent of U.S. Navy personnel, they offer big dividends on a small investment. SEALs' proven ability to operate across the spectrum of conflict and in operations other than war in a controlled manner, and their ability to provide real time intelligence and eyes on target, offer decision makers immediate and virtually unlimited options in the face of rapidly changing crises around the world. The most important trait that distinguishes Navy SEALs from all other military forces is that SEALs are maritime Special Forces, as they strike from and return to the sea. SEALs (Sea, Air, Land) take their name from the elements in and from which they operate. Their stealth and clandestine methods of operation allow them to conduct multiple missions against targets that larger forces cannot approach undetected. Physically Fit, Highly Motivated, Combat-Focused From 1962 when the first SEAL teams were commissioned, to present day, Navy SEALs have distinguished themselves as an individually reliable, collectively disciplined and highly skilled maritime force. Because of the dangers inherent in NSW, prospective SEALs go through what is considered by many military experts to be the toughest training in the world. The intense physical and mental conditioning it takes to become a SEAL begins at Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) training which is conducted at the Naval Special Warfare Center in San Diego, CA. Candidates must complete a mentally and physically demanding 6-month basic training course, 3 weeks of parachute training and a 15-week advanced training period prior to becoming a SEAL and earning the Trident--the warfare pin insignia of all SEAL operators.

From the History of Pirates

Pirate: A pirate is really a robber who steals from other ships out at sea.

No way a SEAL is on par with a robber.

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 1:47 p.m.
Mental wrote:
Salanis wrote: ... Being a Ninja is about controlled intensity...
Your words.

Sorry, but there's no mention there about how the attitude of a SEAL is maintaining controlled intensity. It says their training is intense. Ever trimmed sails on choppy waters with 20+knot winds? That's pretty intense. Usually that also involves tying knots without looking. I'd call that control.

Sorry. Cherry picking for those two words doesn't do it.

If you want to get back to the most important segment of what you quoted:

The most important trait that distinguishes Navy SEALs from all other military forces is that SEALs are maritime Special Forces, as they strike from and return to the sea. SEALs (Sea, Air, Land) take their name from the elements in and from which they operate. Their stealth and clandestine methods of operation allow them to conduct multiple missions against targets that larger forces cannot approach undetected.

Sorry. Pirates. "Maritime." "Strike from and return to the sea." "Clandestine methods."

The most "Ninja" you can get there is that they use stealth. As I pointed out, Pirates do get to use stealth. Pirates are all about a small crazy force cheating to overtake a larger force. Frequently cheating means using stealth. Therefore, Pirates get to use stealth.

Also, you can't get past the fact that the SEALs love guns and blowing E36 M3 up. That's incredibly Pirate.

Keith
Keith SuperDork
12/18/08 2:06 p.m.

Sorry, I'm with the SEALs = Ninjas camp here. Even though pirates are much cooler than ninjas.

When the Somali pirates got their hands on tanks and grenade launchers in September, I couldn't believe it. The only thing better than pirates with tanks is sharks with freakin' lasers on their heads.

Salanis
Salanis SuperDork
12/18/08 2:11 p.m.
Keith wrote: Sorry, I'm with the SEALs = Ninjas camp here. Even though pirates are much cooler than ninjas.

I could buy that they're Ninja-Pirates. But I still say they're more Pirate than Ninja.

Keith wrote: When the Somali pirates got their hands on tanks and grenade launchers in September, I couldn't believe it. The only thing better than pirates with tanks is sharks with freakin' lasers on their heads.

"Take what ye' want! Give nothin' back!"

John Brown
John Brown SuperDork
12/18/08 2:13 p.m.

Mental
Mental SuperDork
12/18/08 2:28 p.m.
So you're augument is that SEALS aren't controlled?

The most important trait that distinguishes Navy SEALs from all other military forces is that SEALs are maritime Special Forces, as they strike from and return to the sea. SEALs (Sea, Air, Land) take their name from the elements in and from which they operate. Their stealth and clandestine methods of operation allow them to conduct multiple missions against targets that larger forces cannot approach undetected.

It also mentions thay operate in every element.

Salanis wrote: Sorry. Pirates. "Maritime." "Strike from and return to the sea." "Clandestine methods."

Yes, Pirates = Maritime, but Maritime does not equal Pirate. Otherwise Issac the Bartender is a Pirate. And there is no way you could ever describe Pirates as Clandestine. They used to hoist the skull and cross bones to strike fear. That is overt actions, not covert.

Tying knots in 40 Kts crosswinds makes you controlled?!? No, that makes you skilled, otherwise to follow your logic, the guy next to me in traffic talking on the phone, changing CDs and eating breakfast is a controlled Pirate, and just a step shy of a SEAL.

My dog can balance on her hind legs. Thats a trick, not control.

Clandestine?!? No definition of a Pirate of Piarcy ever used even a inference of clandestine

Webster's Pirate Main Entry: pi·ra·cy
Pronunciation: \ˈpī-rə-sē\ Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural pi·ra·cies Etymology: Medieval Latin piratia, from Late Greek peirateia, from Greek peiratēs pirate Date: 1537 1: an act of robbery on the high seas ; also : an act resembling such robbery 2: robbery on the high seas 3 a: the unauthorized use of another's production, invention, or conception especially in infringement of a copyright b: the illicit accessing of broadcast signals

You pionted out Pirates like stealth, but its simply not true. They don't and if they try, they suck at it. Stealth and clandestine is not taking over a ship by pulling along side and blasting cannons. It is not taking over a oil tanker and it is certianly no wearing oragnge shirts and Mercedes shorts (ref recent CNN footage of Pirates)

SEALs don't love guns and blowing E36 M3 up. They love weapons, and operations....And that is incredibly Ninja.

You will come back to the fact that SEALS Operate to and from water. But we both know that a Pirate operates on the high seas. So by that very definition, SEALS are more than Pirates, and as everyone knows, Ninjas are more than Pirates. Hence SEALS = Ninjas, and that simply furthers the obvious conclusion that Ninja > Pirates.

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