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BenB
BenB Reader
4/13/19 4:16 p.m.

So sorry for your loss.

matthewmcl
matthewmcl New Reader
4/13/19 7:18 p.m.

Hello,

I know I am new here and I know you don't know me from Adam, but my wife became a widow when she was only 31 (her first husband lost a hard battle with colon cancer).  There is a support network/organization specifically for widows and widowers.  It is (sadly) a huge group of people that have gone through what you have gone through and what you are about to go through.

My wife found the organization to be hugely helpful and she goes to a "camp" that they put on every year.  She now volounteers.  The organization is called Soaring Spirits if you want to google them, but if you pm me, I will put information in the mail for you.  I am certain that everyone here (myself included) is willing to lend an ear anytime you need to talk/vent/feel-pain/whatever you need.  At the same time, having people to talk to, that already understand the things that you don't know how to put into words yet, can be comforting.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Matthew

 

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair MegaDork
4/13/19 7:22 p.m.

so sorry to hear this.  My family will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Toyman01
Toyman01 MegaDork
4/13/19 7:25 p.m.

Oh man... I can't even imagine.

I am so sorry for your loss. 

captdownshift
captdownshift PowerDork
4/13/19 7:40 p.m.

There are no words :( 

 

eastsideTim
eastsideTim UberDork
4/13/19 8:04 p.m.

I’m very sorry, my condolences.

BoxheadTim
BoxheadTim MegaDork
4/13/19 8:29 p.m.

My sincerest condolences.

Robbie
Robbie UltimaDork
4/13/19 8:41 p.m.

I'm crushed just thinking about it. My thoughts are with you.

imgon
imgon HalfDork
4/14/19 7:37 a.m.

We are so sorry for your loss, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Lean on your friends,  they will keep you up. 

jfryjfry
jfryjfry HalfDork
4/14/19 3:47 p.m.

Also incredibly sorry.  She was my age and I couldn’t imagine leaving my family but it could happen.  Thanks for the reminder

Woody
Woody MegaDork
4/14/19 3:50 p.m.

My thoughts are with you. 

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH MegaDork
4/15/19 9:19 a.m.

Condolences man...she was younger than my parents...sad

Aaron_King
Aaron_King PowerDork
4/15/19 10:04 a.m.

I really don’t know what to say. I am very sorry for your loss.  

dxman92
dxman92 Reader
4/15/19 2:19 p.m.

Very sorry for your loss...

Stampie
Stampie PowerDork
4/15/19 3:32 p.m.

I'm sorry I just noticed this and even more sorry for your loss. 

matthewmcl (Forum Supporter)
matthewmcl (Forum Supporter) Reader
6/5/20 7:56 a.m.

Steve,

With all the thoughts about Wally, I thought I would pull this thread back up, too.  Would you be willing to share a Michelle story with us sometime?

Matthew

secretariata (Forum Supporter)
secretariata (Forum Supporter) UltraDork
4/11/24 5:35 p.m.

Hard to believe it has been 5 years since my wife passed away...sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago.  To quote a band I don't much care for "What a long strange trip it's been". 

BenB
BenB HalfDork
4/11/24 6:22 p.m.

My condolences to you and your family. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter)
Snowdoggie (Forum Supporter) UltraDork
4/11/24 6:45 p.m.

Sorry about your loss. I hope you had plenty of time to spend with her at the end to tell her how you feel.

 

Before my Father went in for heart surgery, I put my arms around him and said, "I love you, Dad." We have had our differences and our family was dysfunctional, but at that time we had made peace and we had spend a lot of time together in those last years. We would spend hours just walking together in the forest near his retirement home in Arkansas and talking.

 

 

Wally (Forum Supporter)
Wally (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/12/24 8:54 a.m.

In reply to secretariata (Forum Supporter) :

I hope you're doing well.  It's an odd place to be at times. 

secretariata (Forum Supporter)
secretariata (Forum Supporter) UltraDork
4/12/24 1:12 p.m.

Thanks for the well wishes! I think I'm doing OK, considering there was no users manual on how to deal with these aspects of life.

Wally, yes it can be a very odd place at times. I hope you are doing well also.

Snowdoggie, It is important for them to know how you feel when the end comes, but I think it's more important to show them every day before that time. I am sure she knew how much I loved her every day by the way I treated her, talked with her, the way we made decisions and how we planned for our future as a team rather than individuals seeking different goals.

So, to belabor the original point of this thread, make sure you talk with your loved ones about your final wishes and get all the documents (will, power of attorney, medical power of attorney, Do Not Resuscitate Order if you want that, etc.) taken care of and gathered together. Any other arrangements that you can make in advance are going to help them through a very difficult time. Luckily, we had those difficult conversations in advance, so I knew what her wishes were and was glad to not have to second guess myself.

Wally (Forum Supporter)
Wally (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/13/24 1:19 p.m.
secretariata (Forum Supporter) said:

So, to belabor the original point of this thread, make sure you talk with your loved ones about your final wishes and get all the documents (will, power of attorney, medical power of attorney, Do Not Resuscitate Order if you want that, etc.) taken care of and gathered together. Any other arrangements that you can make in advance are going to help them through a very difficult time. Luckily, we had those difficult conversations in advance, so I knew what her wishes were and was glad to not have to second guess myself.

I'm doing ok. I hope people understand and follow how important what you said is. We'd had several discussions through the years about it so I was able to do most of what she wanted.  
 

Also, if you have a significant other and kids, have life insurance. Have more than you think you need. Make sure it's clear where and how they're going to live, especially if you're not officially married or you have any complications like someone other than a bank is holding the note on your home. They're likely not going to be able to work as many hours as they are now while parenting alone, tbings you used to do they're probably going to have to pay someone for, and there are a myriad of other unexpected complications that come up.  

P3PPY
P3PPY SuperDork
4/14/24 8:58 a.m.

I missed this one the first time around. That’s so hard, I can’t even imagine being basically forced away from the one I talk to and turn to every single day. That’s heartbreaking, man. Death is E36 M3. 

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