DISCLAIMER- THIS THING IS LONG AND THERES LOTS OF SPOILERS. I probably forgot a ton of stuff, so feel free to ask questions.
Alright, the media embargo has lifted. As I've alluded to before, I did get a chance to go on a test voyage for Disneys newest cash cow, the Galactic Star Cruiser- also known as the Halcyon. It is a two night (approximately 40 hours if my math serves) all inclusive all encompassing fully immersive experience.
Holy. E36 M3.
It was easily one of the most engrossing experiences I've ever had, and if this is a sign to come with how Disney wants to focus on immersive experiences, there's a lot of cool stuff coming. If you've been on Rise of The Resistance, you have a small idea of what to expect from the level of production and theming. It's really, really good.
Embarking started with several security gates and having our phones security taped (I could have technically leaked with one of my devices, but I'm not trying to get banned from future free stuff) and pulling up to the...hyperspace transport (code for elevator). As this is a deluxe experience (and I do mean deluxe, I've never experienced this level of service) everything was taken care of . I think the only time I touched my luggage was when I was in my room digging for snacks. And for clean underwear. Our luggage was unloaded for us, tagged, and transported to our room by what I can only assume are luggage droids, we are handed our databands and datapads (If you've got an iphone and a magic band, you get the idea) that are integral to our stay. You have to key your datapad to your databand before embarkation- it's fairly important to the experience. Once that happens, you board the transport, get shot into outer space (and it looks really cool while it's happening) and boom, you're in the atrium of the Halcyon. You're greeted by some friendly offworld folks that are there to help you with anything you need, from water (there is so, so much water) to room directions to datapad assistance. (We're both pretty good at devices, so we didnt need much).
We immediately headed to our rooms to get a scope of what we were dealing with, and it was impressive. The theming is absolutely on point, right down to the bunks for the younglings. There is an in-wall virtual droid assistant that responds to voice feedback, and actually follows the story as well, along with other options like telling bedtime stories (the one we listened to was very interesting. It was about how a brave droid named R2D2 and a moisture farmer helped the resistance and destroyed the death star. Neat stuff). One thing of note, this entire experience was entirely enclosed. I didnt see any sort of natural lighting until excursion day, on day 2, and when I accidentally wandered into the climate simulator. (More on that later). Bed was small, and I'm fat, so that was a miss. The pillows were pretty good- I asked swmbo if I could have some from her office, which is stacked to the ceiling with them. She said maybe I could buy some, as I am not allowed to steal from her office. LAAAAAME. There was one pretty major problem with our room that needed to be addressed by engineering at outset, one of the pieces of trim on the door to the bathroom was completely coming off. I'm honestly not surprised by that- I knew way too many people that worked on this from a construction standpoint due to my former employer, and they did not inspire confidence. But hey- it was free and as long as i didn't get all banged up on space booze and go ham on the place, it would be fine.
Once we were satisfied with the exploration of our room, we headed back to to the atrium, because that a- seemed to be the center of the action, and b- there was an all ship muster that occured shortly after we were on board. This is where the immersion started. We were immediately greeted by several on board characters, notably cruise director Layka, an R2 type droid named SK, Raith Cole... who was on board entertainent superstar Gaya's manager, Ouanni- who was Gayas...DJ? (IDK. Reminded me of a DJ when she was performing) an orange guy who I cannot remember the name of for the life of me, and several others. They were all milling around, having photo ops, talking to passengers, sort of laying the ground work. Off to the right of the bridge there was a bar, which felt like an upscale version of the cantina from Tattoine. They had a full sized holographic sabaac table (sabaac is a space cards game, and quite a bit of fun as it turns out) tons of cool theming elements, and a pretty good bar list. Neat bar.
On either side of the bridge, and really all over the ship, were touch screens that i believe were called data ports. These are INTEGRAL to the story. Because I'm perpetually 2 and push all the buttons- I started pushing buttons. It didn't do much at outset. There was a small spot to scan my databand, so I did that, and it opened a few more options. Naturally I picked the one that said restricted access. I was greeted by a code hash that I was supposed to have for either engineering or cargo. I had neither, naturally- but that didn't stop me from trying. Half a dozen tries or so, and it was time for ships muster (which plays into the story later) we're formally introcuded to the crew, and our muster station captains (ours was Saja Marnix- who later did our lightsaber training). After a little bit of an intro from the captain (A nice blue woman by the name of Captain Keevan), the party kicks off. First order shows up led by Lt. Harmon Croy. We're accused of being resistance sympathisers, doing smuggling, and all sorts of other chicanery. After he basically said Ima be on this ship doing First Order stuff (story progression, duh) he leaves, and we're sort of left to our own devices. In that time frame, I got a datacom from Raithe Cole alluding to the fact that he saw me attempt to do the hack on the thing, and he asked me for help and gave me the password. At that point, it became readily apparent that any interaction we had was predicated by scans of our databand, which was tied to the entire experience. SWEET. Got a password, got into the restricted area for engineering, and got my first onboard mission. But that would have to wait.
We were part of the first batch to do bridge training. This was one of the experiences to familiarize ourselves with the Halcyon as well as experience some of the stuff they've put together for the guests, as well as further our bit of the story. Our group was tasked with flying to....wherever to pick up Gaya, who was to be that nights dinner entertainment. Along the waywe got to learn how to pick up cargo, defend the ship from incoming debris, and fend off the first order fighters. All of these events were designed to be co-op with someone in your party, or someone you've recently met on board. It was basically a really big video game- and anyone that knows me I play kind of a lot of video games. Naturally, SWMBO and I cleaned house on all the challenges, and the eventual "real life" that we had to do because the empire was trying to blockade us, and we needed to pick up Gaya. I even got chosen to put the ship into hyperspace, which IDK but go me. We were also (sort of) clued in that Layka and captain Keevan were resistance, and our path from that point was seemingly sealed. The neat part was that Gaya actually boarded the ship following our mission, as though our group had really picked her up. I havent read any of the other blogs or walkthroughs (more on why later) but it does seem like we've had distinctly different paths than other people that we knew on the flight. Everyone appears really and truly to have a different story based on what choices they made and what comms they chose to follow.
Following that, we had some downtime, so we decided to do a bit more exploring. We both recieved comms that we chose to cooperate on, that sent us to various locations on the ship. We discovered a brig, back to engineering, a cargo hold, and other places. All of these things had little minigames almost- that helped define the story. The brig for example, had a rotating code that needed to be called out from one of the ports on the ship to be able to unlock the door. It also turned out that there was a secret exit- I did not take it because I'm old and fat- and it was crawling through some vents, John McClane style. The engineering room was another place we spent a great deal of time in- due to the nature of the missions we chose. There were several minigames inside, we tried to do them all. We absolutely didn't do any of them correctly however, as we were supposed to scan in- and we didn't do any of that. So that pretty much sucked for us. Ah well. It should also be noted at this time that we really started to pick up on just how serious everyone was about the belief that they were on the ship. All of the cast members played along, and did astonishingly well. At one point, we were in the cargo bay, and a cast member casually mentioned that there seemed to be an awful lot of people looking for lost luggage that day. Those small touches were present throughout the journey, and it really helped bring us along on the journey.
After that, it was lightsaber training. It took place in one of the few locked areas of the ship- the training pod. We all lined up, and took turns swinging sabers at laser beams. It was more like a kata than an active fight, but you get the idea. One of the things that struck out to me was while I was in line waiting. I'm a pattern person by default, I look for them in everything. I discovered early on that the lasers that the lightsaber pod used were definitely in a pattern, and I was absentmindedly tracing it with my hand while it was not my turn with the saber. Saja Marnix (Apparently the Saja are trainers on the ship? I was never really clear WHO they were, I met three or four on our journey) noticed I was doing this, and noticed I was pretty damn accurate, and quipped that I must have been using some sort of force trick on it. I'm pretty clumsy with my words in person, but I did manage to reply that I had mentioned I had used a lightsaber before (Which is true, I wailed my brother with a darth maul saber right after EP1 came out. We were 19-20 at the time.). He seemed pleased with this answer. That was one of the things I kept noticing. I really tried my hardest to be a nerd with the rest of the nerds, even though this isn't really my nerd style. I think it was mentioned here, and it's a belief I hold- that no one hates star wars more than star wars fans. I think it helped that I had no preconcieved notions of what any of this was supposed to be, so I really had the opportunity to experience what it was. Another time, I was somehow talking to Raithe Cole (who plays a very heavy han solo vibe) and he mentioned that he hadn't heard me speak much. I'm naturally a chaotic neutral person (I think anyone that knows me knows this) and I mentioned that sometimes things don't need to be said lest the wrong people hear. I'm not entirely sure he was prepared for that, but he definitely was on his game. The improvisation was PERFECT across the board. There was ANOTHER time with Raithe, and I forget exactly what it was, but he was talking about diplomacy, and I said something that amounted to hitting the situation real hard with a real big hammer, and he came back with "We don't need to Leeroy Jenkins this right now". That was probably the single best moment of interaction I had with the cast.
Between all of this, we did actually find some time to sit. There was Sabaac lessons going on in the atrium, and we were both tired, so we decided to take a respite, play some cards, and take advantage of the libations available. The bar as mentioned before, was really cool. The sabaac table itself was a little clogged, so we sallied up to the bar and ordered a couple of drinks-specifically a Fiery Mustafarian and a Hoth Icebreaker- as suggested by our bartender... who I legit wish I had her name, she was phenomenal. I'm not sure if she was a Disnerd or not- but she was so damn good at what she did and her character, it really stood out. She even went so far as to check that we had teeth so we could bite the ice shard in the hoth drink. There was a moment with her where they gave me a test tube of...lava extract? to pour into my drink. It was supposed to warm it or me or...something. She did however notice that somehow, my tube was considerably fuller than anyone elses, and that seemed to throw her a bit. It threw her even more when, like any rational person would- I dumped the entire thing into my drink. This damn thing was like $15, i'm getting my money's worth. Fortunately alcohol was the only incurred cost on the ship itself, everything else was included. That included the snack bar that had prepackaged stuff like parmesan crisps, muffins, assorted cookies, popcorn, etc. There was also a small appetizer menu that was included... that had several delicious options. Notably we ordered the salmon cannolis and a smoked cheese platter. These. were. AMAZING. The presentation was absolutely on point, and they were delicious. The cheese plate came out under a glass cloche, and you could see the smoke that they filled it with, and the show of the smoke wisping away as they opened it....loungeside? Awesome.
Dinner came, and it was served family style, one big pile for the table. We had been warned we may have to share a table with others, this gave me fits because I hate eating in restaurants anyhow, having to share with strangers would have set me over the edge. Fortunately the fretting was for nought, we a- had our own table and b- were somehow seated right next to one of the few other cast members that christina knew on the ship, and conveniently I didn't hate. That made me happy. The food itself was excellent. It was served in three courses, and while it was presumed to be offworld cuisine and was themed as such, it was very much asian inspired. I suppose that's about as exotic as most people get, and I'd been hearing rumors that the food was weird. I have no such problems so it was all fine to me. We first got a bento box of dumplings and sauces, Bantha (beef) Tip Yip (chicken) and flora (duh). Fantastic stuff. Dinner itself was various small pots of beef, chicken, seafood, vegetables, and chicken. The beef was the standout here, I don't know what they did to it, but the texture and flavor was magical. Easily the best piece of protein I've ever had on disney property, and I've had prime rib at the Yachtsman. Dessert was also phenomenal, a blob of fruit whip with various other gelees and other tasty bits to go along with it. During dinner we were graced with a show from the one and only Gaya. I'll be honest, this felt like it needed some work. The sound was WAAAAAAAY off and Gaya felt pitchy. We were the late dinner, so she'd already done this once during the evening.... and like I said, testing. The music itself was fine- it felt vaguely starwarsy. I would have been more entertained with a cantina style show, but this is a luxury space vessel, not ogas on b'atuu. More drinks with dinner, this time a G+T and an old fashioned. I was very surprised to find out that they were pouring buffalo trace whiskey- which is difficult to come by in normal circumstances. I suppose though, when you have the empires black card, you can buy anything. The evening was capped off by more time in the atrium, including some interactions with various characters that furthered the story along and a fairly early bed time. We had a message from the room droid D309 that outlined our day two, listened to a bedtime story, and passed out.
DAY TWO- started early. Our transport to B'atuu was at like 9am so we had to hustle and get to breakfast and get our asses in gear. Breakfast was a buffet, and was mostly standard stuff, though it was all really good. Standouts included a kale..fritatta of some kind, and a flatbread of some sort with a chipotle type sauce on it. Amazing. There was also endless coffee and cold beverages, which was definitely helpful.
We were then shuttled to b'atuu via well...shuttle. You've all seen the outside of it no doubt, it looks suspiciously like a box truck. While we didn't see anything from the outside, the inside was well themed, and quite comfy in fact. Journey took like 10min or so, and there was no issue the entire time. There were windows on the shuttle that allowed us to see our progress from space to the black spire outpost. I think the coolest part of the entire trip back and forth was when we landed at galaxy's edge the foliage and and theming in the windows was identical to what was outside of the ship itself as we disembarked. I won't go into great detail about galaxy's edge, I've done this before. I will say that we were given the VIP treatment every stop, as soon as they saw the Halcyon buttons we were wearing, we got hooked UP. It's clear that people really are being treated as wealthy outworld travellers during this journey, and for a guy like me who's idea of a good time is....well you know... I'm here- this was exceptional. We were given priority boarding on both the aluminum falcon and Rise of the Resistance- which I had never actually ridden before. I had a boarding group the last time I was at HWS, but swmbo got a monster promotion while we were at lunch at the derby, and she was sort of shellshocked, so we left and I bought her a really nice purse as congratulations. The coolest part was our entire excursion was PART of the show. We had missions while on planet, both of our rides tied into the story, like it was all inclusive. This was also the point where I got tricked and bought $500 in lightsabers. I was tricked by disney, and it was worth it. My DAILY DRIVER cost as much as those two toys. I'd do it again. (I might, in fact.)
Back on the ship, we were BEAT, so we played it low key. A lot of other people were doing bridge training and lightsaber training, so we sort of were left to our own devices. This was when we first discovered the...climate simulator. I wasn't sure what to expect, and I was greeted with a very peaceful, very real, outdoor rock garden. Apparently stacking rocks was a thing here, so I stacked some rocks. It was about this time the show on the ship ratcheted up, somehow we ended up in the group that helped smuggle Rey onto the ship. Not entirely sure how, but hey, got to smuggle a person. Fun times. After that we elected to go take a sit down until dinner, so we went back to the room and crashed. A lot. That's when probably my favorite part of the entire thing occured. Our room had a window that looked out into space (read a giant screen and a Fresnel lense that played space videos) I knew they were still doing bridge training, and that's when I noticed- when the ship went into hyperspace, OUR WINDOW PLAYED ALONG. Our window was keyed to the port side of the ship, where we were, and followed along perfectly. That means that Disney has synced at least 100 screens across individual rooms to play along with the action. When we hit an asteroid field, we saw asteroids. When we jumped systems, we saw which planets were around. A-mazing.
Dinner that night was a multicourse "tour of the galaxy". The food again, was phenomenal. It followed a very much more traditional high end meal with a bread course, a shrimp course, an entree, and a dessert. This was all excellent again, with the standout going to the potatoes. I don't know what sort of crack they sprinkled on them, but it was delicious, delicious crack. We didn't get a Gaya performance that night, which was fine- I didn't really want to listen to that twice. We did get some Keevan Vs Croy interaction, which led to the finale of the entire event.
As we were finishing dessert, the entire ship went red alert. We were warned during muster that this could happen in the event of a shipwide emergency, and we were all told that this would require us to muster in the atrium for the event...for..whatever reason. As we arrived, you could kind of feel a tingle in the air. Whatever the blow off was for this was going down, and going down now. All of the Saja were there (having been outed as resistance at this point) The captain, the cruise director, Croy, the storm troopers, Sammie the engineer, everyone. This culimated in a lightsaber battle between Rey and Kylo Ren (who is apparently still alive at this point, so this has to take place before EP9). Giant lightsaber battle with special effects, sparks, Kylo ren doing the cool sword spark thing he does, flips, spinny kicks, the works. This was clearly very well rehearsed and they got some excellent performers for it. It closed the story well, and left me in awe of what was created. I was happy.
The rest of the evening into the next morning was pretty uneventful, everyone was pretty dead from all the running around and various things that happened during the stay. I will freely admit I was NOT ready to be done with this, as I knew I had missed a great deal. I almost felt like I could use at least one more day aboard the ship to fully explore what was going on, it certainly is making me seriously consider doing it again, and I won't even get a discount. Disembarking was still a wonderful and almost bittersweet moment, getting back to earth and and seeing our car and our luggage and realizing we had to go back home was definitely sad. There was a nice final touch, they left us with a small gift bag? with a cookie and a water in it.
Overall, it was mind boggling the level of show they managed to create, and how it all worked. From our initial embarkation that would appear to be a regular cruise to outer space, to the first hints that the First Order would be involved, to things like smuggling Chewbacca off the ship by distracting the storm troopers, smuggling Rey onboard the ship, all of it was incredible. People held to their roles extremely well, and you could tell they were passionate about what they did. I will say it didn't hurt that everyone on the ship with us was also high level disnerds, you needed to be an assistant director level or above to even get the nod. Everyone was extermely into the show, and it made it hard for even someone like me not to enjoy it. I TRULY believe they knocked this one out of the park. So many little details, I can't possibly remember them all. Right down to characters calling out key helpers during the event, Croy calling out one kid in particular who and I quote "On several occasions, sold out his OWN MOTHER". That E36 M3s funny even if it's not SW related.
I will say though, it was not without its challenges. The bed was only a full, and when you're me, you need a big bed. Big guy, big bed. My datapad (that looked and acted suspiciously like an iphone) bricked when we landed on b'atuu, I lost all of my progress and my entire story line. Pretty lame that I didn't get to finish it all out, but swmbos still worked and we got to play hers, but I was defeated. We also experienced a power outage on our second night, which REALLY sucked. It kept resetting our window, which was extremely loud, and made a whole bunch of noise ship wide. Not a great end to a great trip.
Overall, it was amazing. I don't care what anyone says, I'd say if you're looking for a unique, singular experience and you are a SW fan, this is for you. You're treated like a VIP the entire time. Special entrances, special staging areas at HWS with cool towels and free water, all sorts of fun stuff. Everything aside from the liquor was included, from stem to stern. Our HWS admits, our lightning lanes, all the food, all the blue milk you can drink, the snackadoos, the lounge menu....included. We ate (based on disney prices) somewhere between $500 and $1000 worth of food for the two of us over the time we were there, and didn't pay a dime. Sure our bar bill was $150 bucks for 6 drinks, but we tipped deep, because these people EARNED it.
10/10 would recommend.
pic inside the transport, the first space window we saw. 
SK droid, also my fat right arm and pink shirt. holo
holotube on either side of the bridge, displayed different stuff. Also, the lift that took us to outer space.
Swmbo and Ouanni- one of the characters we met. 
SK on the upper balcony
Captain Keevan on the balcony, doing the initial address. 
Lt. Croy and his band of merry idiots
view out the window of the bridge. Super cool
Me being fat and warpspeeding our ship. 
Croy and Gaya upon her arrival. 
boozes. 
boozes menu. E36 M3 wasn't cheap, but it was good. 
cheese plate!
salmon cannoli. This was a standout. 
snack menu. This was available pretty much, wheneverdinn
dinner, night 1. 
F
food, and drinks. Amazing things. ha
halcyon modelbrea
breakfast
we fancy
onboard the ship to b'atuu
one of the funnier moments, a bunch of kids suckered sammie the engineer and a couple stormtroopers into the brig and locked them in. Watching them get out was hilarious. Sammie was a big part of the story, that I sort of accidentally skipped. He was an engineer on the ship. sk
sk.... I couldnt figure out how he worked, but he wandered about, theoretically on his own. 
this was what our room window looked like. It had all sorts of awesome videos. 
the first sighting of Rey on board. di
dinner night 2. 
duh
the infamous blue shrimp. Everyone talked about it. 
dessert, night 2. 
the only media I have from the finale, we were banned from imaging during the event.
a map of the halcyon. This actually played into a mission we did. 
