By now- you all should learn, nothing in my life is normal. Not even remotely so. I refuse to leave the house most days for fear of problems. However- this is one of the more bizarre runs I've had.
This all starts about noon yesterday. I was asleep as I work nights, and the wife rousts me out of bed. She asks "Do you like All That Remains?" (The band). I assume this is a stupid question as 2 of the 6 cds in my changer in my car, and the two she hates the most of those 6, are all that remains. They have not left the changer in about 2 years. But in my state I grumble a "Yeah....why?" She replies "Crystal has a free ticket to the All That Remains show tonight and I said you wanted to go". Ok...... sweet....but what confuses me about this is.. Crystal is a friend of my wifes, and my supervisor. At work. With DD adults. And not someone I would EVER peg as a metal fan. I graciously accept the ticket, and I set up a way to get down to the venue that does not involve me driving, because I have massive social anxiety and I intend on having a booze or several before I go.
The way to the venue means I'm hanging out with one of my wifes other friends and her husband. They're both pretty cool, great parents, real hands on. I don't like their kid- I think she's a little snot, but they're ok. Little granola for my tastes, but that's me. I arrange to leave my car there and my wife texts me and says "Oh good, you can help ben assemble a wand". I assume my wife has NOT typed this correctly, as she has about the worst text fu on earth. I give her the standard "wat" and she replies "a wand" Ok, so I need to assemble... a wand. I'm a little worried. Get there, and sure as E36 M3, I need to figure out how to assemble a magic wand. Turns out these folks are big into LARP'ing (like he owns his own larp company... I didn't know larp companies were a thing, but they are, and he's got one!) and he needs a new magic wand. Now why his regular elf weaponsmaster or whatever isn't on this case is above my paygrade to ask, so I do my best GRM and give it the 74cent solution involving some copper wire, a washer, and a bolt. He seems to like it, and is even more pleased when I figure out how to light the sumbitch up. I guess being a mechanical nerd has its bonuses. I was rewarded with boozes, which was REALLY my only goal anyhow, so we call it a win for everyone! I get to make things, the mage gets to cast spells, my wife gets granola parent time...life is good.
CONCERT TIME! Get to the venue, miss the opening act- Starset. I shoulda bought a CD, they was cheap. Oh well. Hear the second act start- still waiting to meet the boss. Her and her crew got lost. Hickbilly metalheads don't do downtown, apparently. Finally, they show up. Get mah ticket, get in line for the usual hug by a biker named Bruce. Except it was a woman doin' patdowns, and she was kinda cute. SWEET! As she gives me the pat- she says "That's the manliest beard I've seen in a LONG time". Right on. Now I know my beard is pretty good- but to hear that at a metal show by a woman, who works metal shows, is a compliment. I probably coulda got facetime if I had hidden the ring and...not been with my boss who is friends with my wife and all that. Made me feel good. Caught the tail end of the second act- Devour the Day- they weren't bad. Song called "Good Man" or something- alright. All That Remains was REALLY on it- Phil had his mojo. I completely forgotten their bassist was female, not that it matters. They ripped for about an hour flat and called it good. Didn't play Chiron or Keepers of Fellow Men but other than that it was a great set.
Sober by this time- dropped off at my car. Notice that the little unbalance in the right front has gotten worse. Figure deal with it tomorrow.
Get up, head kills, no surprise. Neck is sore. I'm not 23 anymore. Kid REFUSES to get out of bed. He's 3! It takes me 30min to roust him. We're late for ECFE. Spend all of ECFE trying not to vom (they keep it retarded hot in there for some reason, and I am extremely warm blooded, and with a migraine, super sensitive to heat and light). Get out, notice the wobble has gotten so I cannot continue to ignore it. I need to rebalance. E36 M3, this means a trip to DT. Need to wait on the wife.
Wife gets home, we go to DT. DT says "It'll be an hour" K, s'pose. They're busy. I live a block from DT. I can go home. I want to watch my car because I know they're gonna berkeley something up. I shouldn't have worried- but we'll get to that later. Hang out, and they FINALLY pull the tire. Tires hosed. All the other tires are on the bars- and they can't rebalance this one. So if I buy A tire, they won't replace the hosed one because it has treads. Stupid DT. This is making me panic. Did I mention I'm prone to panic attacks especially if I haven't slept and I've been awake for about 2 days at this point? I can't figure this out. I don't have my "I'm gonna berkeley with DT" mojo like I did the night I blew the tires on the MINI doing burnouts. Wife goes to work. Next thing I know she's handing over my card and I'm getting two BRAND NEW Pilot Sports, and two BRAND NEW Eagle F1's for.....250$. On the car. Out the door. Going home. I don't know what the hell she did, but I will never speak ill of that womans ability to get a bargain. That's like 1000$ worth of tires.
So now, I have more time to kill while I'm getting new tires. Kid finds a caterpillar, loves it. Finds a daddy long legs, loves it. Watches guys put tires on cars. Loves it. We meet a guy whos wife dumped his car into a curb hard. It's a base model Dart- so steelies and caps. NBD. DT gets to workin, and we get to BS'in over his skates, as he's got old hockey boots with rollerblade tuuks on em. Haven't seen that in a while, used to skate those myself. He takes off on his skates, I meet a guy that works at the refinery down the road and doesn't get why he needs a designated smoking area, and fed his 6 year old nephew a 6er of dew and a case of pixie sticks on his birthday. There's a real cast of characters. Skate dude comes back and says "By the way, I'm part of this church and"........ AWWW MAN! Now I have no problem with religion. I find for a lot of people it provides excellent guidance. But I am not a lost soul. So I have to politely fend off his requests and inquiries to discuss the bible with him, which is even more difficult when he finds out I was raised Catholic. He gets it, we talk for a few moments, and he bails. Nice guy though. John. John was his name.
About this time, my car is wrapping up. I notice the cat working on my car seems to be taking more than the usual care. He also looks sorta familiar. He stops at one point and asks me "Do you know a Yeej (pronounced Yee) Vang?" I'm like "Yeah, that dudes one of my friends, I was just trying to get him to buy my winter wheels the other day for his G- I'm the one that sold him the Jackie Chan on the 240" motioning to the same Jackie Chan on my car. Turns out the guy working on my car Yi (also pronounced Yi) is his brother. And had recognized my car from being at the gas station where Yeej used to work when I'd roll in to get smokes or a soda or whatever. And had basically ante'd up and taken the job himself to make sure it got done good. And he did. Hand torqued everything and the whole bit. And at the end was like "Is this your socket" As he motions to the 17mm deep that he's got on his torque wrench. I wasn't sure- I've got several- I said it might have been. I showed the other DT guys where they were if they needed them. He said- it doesn't look like ours- so here- and hands me it. So now, I've got another 17mm deep well socket for my lug nuts!
And now, I am at home, in my living room. I plan on going to work, and my grandmothers funeral- and that is about it for the next week or so.
Thank you for your time and I hope it was as entertaining for you as it was for me. PS- I had fish sticks and french fries for dinner. Powar can verify as I had to keep dealing with the oven while playing GTA.
