Karacticus SuperDork
4/25/23 9:55 p.m.

Plans are for Dad to go into hospice soon-- he had a goal of checking out on the 10 year anniversary of Mom's death but I think he's going to be late for that one, but not by more than a week or so the way things are going-- failure to thrive, or "the dwindles" as my sister puts it.

Anybody have a good check list for winding up a the affairs of a last surviving parent?  Things are pretty well taken care of estate wise, and all the financial accounts are pretty much in hand, but I figure there's other mundane details to be wound down, like--

  • Forwarding mail
  • have his google email login -- figure I may need that for incoming bills, 2-factor authentication of whatever
  • plan to keep his phone up and running for same reason
  • other utilities -- internet, TV
  • property taxes are paid up for the year
  • Required minimum distribution already made from his retirement account
  • will have to figure out how to handle income tax-- estimated payments have been made for first quarter
  • Motor vehicles have been dispositioned
  • ?
Stampie MegaDork
4/25/23 9:59 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

Take time to yourself and your family.  Sorry.

sevenracer HalfDork
4/25/23 10:07 p.m.

Maybe already taken care of, but one surprise i had when dealing with my parent's finances when they were still alive is that the banks and retirement accounts would not accept the the General Power of Attorney that we had in place. They had their own forms that had to be signed and notarized. The elder care attorney said that you could probably force them to accept the POA, but it would be a fight.

nlevine Reader
4/25/23 11:19 p.m.

Sorry that you're going through this. Been there, done that a couple of time recently (parent + un-married Aunt with no kids). 

Double-check the financial accounts. My Aunt was a depression-era child who learned never to put all your eggs in one basket so she had multiple accounts spread out across several financial institutions. Took forever to find them all and consolidate. I also made the mistake that when I held POA before she died, I didn't establish a trust, so everything went through Probate when she passed. You may not have time to establish one now if you haven't already (here in MA, a trust has to be in place for a certain amount of time before someone passes in order for it to be valid).

If you or your father don't have an accountant already, get one. I didn't at first and it cost the estate quite a bit because I was late with estate-related financial filings. Even though an accountant can cost a bit, it was one less thing for me to think about. Also, check to see if there are any auto-renewing things, like homeowner's insurance. Better to know in advance before random bills arrive later. 

procainestart SuperDork
4/25/23 11:44 p.m.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

I just went through this a few months ago. If you'll be hiring a hospice care service, they should have some good resources for you. If not and it hasn't been mentioned already, it's a good idea to get in touch with the funeral home you expect to be calling. You're also going to need a bunch of copies of your dad's death certificate, as they're needed for all manner of things. Also if you don't have a hospice service, and I don't know how you'll sort this - it may be a simple matter with his doc - but make sure you get all the pain meds he might need. 

Finally, it really helped me to read about the actual process of dying, to know what to expect when my mom was "actively dying." For me and my siblings, the most meaningful element was being there for her. If you're able to do the same, it might be similarly valuable for both of you. 

And what Stampie said. 

hobiercr UltraDork
4/26/23 11:08 a.m.
procainestart said:

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

You're also going to need a bunch of copies of your dad's death certificate, as they're needed for all manner of things. 

Finally, it really helped me to read about the actual process of dying, to know what to expect when my mom was "actively dying." For me and my siblings, the most meaningful element was being there for her. If you're able to do the same, it might be similarly valuable for both of you. 

And what Stampie said. 

Came here to say the same thing about the death certificate. You will need more of these than you think.

If you need additional support/care before your Dad goes into a hospice facility, we used a service called Visiting Angels which really helped with having someone focused on care while/if you need to do something else. Overnight monitoring, etc. can be taxing on family caregivers, and this service really helped when my Dad was in his last months. 

I too am sorry about your loss. 

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter)
AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/26/23 12:39 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

i'm sorry you're going through this.

NY Nick
NY Nick Dork
4/26/23 1:25 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

I am sorry, this is always hard. I wish you and your family the best. 

SV reX
SV reX MegaDork
4/26/23 2:16 p.m.

The best way to handle financial accounts is not through the estate. If you still have time, try to set up TODs (Transfer on Death) on as many financial accounts as possible. 

Also, try to avoid joint accounts (like adding your name to his bank account).  Since you are not married, you don't technically own the account when he dies. You own HALF of it. The other half has to get divided per the will (and the bank will freeze the assets as soon as they get notification of the death, which is quicker than you think). You won't be able to access ANY of the money until the affairs are settled. 

More importantly... checklist be damned. Make sure you spend the time you need to with him, and with everyone in the family. Financial matters can wait until later. Even the death certificates aren't that big a deal- the funeral home can always print more. 

Im sorry for your loss. 

SV reX
SV reX MegaDork
4/26/23 2:24 p.m.

There isn't any way to know if bills are being paid automatically from accounts. The bank doesn't know, and your father may not remember.

The easiest way to handle that for me was to close my mother's accounts (fairly quickly).  I failed to do that with my father's accounts, and a lot of money disappeared pretty quickly.

Duke MegaDork
4/26/23 3:27 p.m.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My thoughts are with your family.


dean1484 MegaDork
4/27/23 8:26 a.m.

Do you have an estate lawyer?   A couple hours of there time to go over things with you is $$$ well spent. Even if it in the end results in them telling you that you are good to go. Sometimes paying for a little piece of mind in a situation like this is priceless as it helps eliminate stress.  

Karacticus SuperDork
4/28/23 4:23 p.m.

And he has passed

Stampie MegaDork
4/28/23 4:29 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

11GTCS Dork
4/28/23 6:35 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

I’m so sorry for your loss, thinking of you, your Dad and your family. Thank you for sharing the pictures and this thread with all of us.

nlevine Reader
4/28/23 6:42 p.m.

In reply to Karacticus :

Sorry or your loss. May his memory be a blessing.

759NRNG PowerDork
4/28/23 10:33 p.m.
Karacticus said:

And he has passed

These two shots speak volumes of his presence in your life...know that he is at rest and you are truly blessed to be his son.....peace out 

fasted58 MegaDork
4/28/23 11:00 p.m.

Sorry for your loss. Nothing worse than losing a parent, worst days of my life.

Losing Dad was particularly tough. It's over a year ago now but I think about him every day. I'm still cleaning out his house. 

Remember and cherish the times you had together.

God Bless

spitfirebill MegaDork
4/29/23 9:04 p.m.

If there are no contraindications,go buy a bottle of fine spirits and raise a glass to him.  I am sorry for your loss.  My dad has been gone for 50 years.  I would give anything to have one more conversation with him.    

Datsun310Guy MegaDork
4/29/23 11:21 p.m.

Sorry for your loss.  

ddavidv UltimaDork
4/30/23 7:22 a.m.

Run a credit check on him with one of the companies. I found out my folks had far more credit cards than what I physically found. No balances on them, but still needed to be closed out. Most I was able to do with a simple phone call.

porschenut HalfDork
4/30/23 9:39 a.m.

Life is a little lonelier without your dad, sorry. 

Too late for the financial transfer stuff so my only advise is interview lawyers and accountants.  Never trust the first one, regardless of the recs you may get.  Have a few bank statements and a few years of tax returns and of course a copy of the will.  Show it to them and ask some questions, what else will be needed what is the normal process and how much will it cost.  I have learned never trust the first lawyer or accountant you go to.  Hope this helps.

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