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92dxman
92dxman HalfDork
6/15/10 12:02 a.m.

To make a long story short, I went out with a gal on Saturday night and it was one of the better dates I've gone out on in a long time (she is outdoorsy, okay with getting her hands dirty and likes PBR out of a can). Her and I hung out again on Sunday and that went well too. I think that there is definitely potential between her and I. I've kinda been seeing what else is out there and i'm supposed to have a couple other dates looming in the next week or two. Do I go on with these looming dates or see what happens with the gal I was hanging out with all this past weekend exclusively?

NYG95GA
NYG95GA SuperDork
6/15/10 12:32 a.m.

Go with the looming. you'll regret it later if you don't, and if #1 is what you think she is, she'll understand. Be open. Never lie. Just tell it like it is.

If she has a problem with that, she might not be what she appears to be. Better to find out now than to wish you had later. You're still young.. don't take it too seriously until you are sure.

914Driver
914Driver SuperDork
6/15/10 5:32 a.m.

Yeah, loom. If this girl doesn't work out you'll regret not shopping, besides, you look needy if you want to be exclusive after one date.

She likes it in the can, eh?

Wally
Wally SuperDork
6/15/10 6:20 a.m.

Have you ever seen a woman stop looking at shoes because she might have found a pair she likes?

zomby woof
zomby woof HalfDork
6/15/10 6:46 a.m.
NYG95GA wrote: Go with the looming. you'll regret it later if you don't, if #1 is what you think she is, she'll understand. Be open. Never lie. Just tell it like it is.

That's some seriously bad advice right there.

Don't lie, but definitely DO NOT tell her anything. She doesn't need to know, and she won't understand.

wlkelley3
wlkelley3 HalfDork
6/15/10 11:29 a.m.
zomby woof wrote:
NYG95GA wrote: Go with the looming. you'll regret it later if you don't, if #1 is what you think she is, she'll understand. Be open. Never lie. Just tell it like it is.
That's some seriously bad advice right there. Don't lie, but definitely DO NOT tell her anything. She doesn't need to know, and she won't understand.

Actually the wording should be "don't lie when confronted but don't volunteer info on the looming". She doesn't really need to know and she might not understand. A few do but only VERY early in, once becomes regular she won't understand. And obviously don't break a date with her to go looming.

3Door4G
3Door4G Reader
6/15/10 11:46 a.m.
Wally wrote: Have you ever seen a woman stop looking at shoes because she might have found a pair she likes?

Truth!

Have I ever stopped looking for a car because I might have found one I like?

I'd go with what everyone else said. You guys haven't had any discussion on being exclusive, so it's perfectly fine to go on these looming dates, and you'll be glad you did, even if it's just because you confirmed your suspicions that this gal is pretty goddam cool.

But no, don't tell her unless she asks. It's not that she won't understand this early in the game, women aren't dumb. But she doesn't want to know. And you don't either.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
6/15/10 12:15 p.m.

There's some critical information missing here.

How old are you?

What do you know about chicks 2 and 3?

Without that information, all other things being equal, that old golden rule comes in handy. Would you think less of chick 1 if she went out with 2 other dudes in the next week? If so, there's no harm in telling chicks 2 and 3 "I met someone I'm really into and out of respect for both of you, I'd like to see where it goes..." Not only is there no harm in that, but chicks 2 and 3 might swoon at the thought of you not being a total pig.

OTOH, if you're totally cool with chick 1 dating other dudes, and chicks 2 and 3 are down with the program, go sew them wild oats, boy. Alan Arkin's character in Little Miss Sunshine had some sound advice:

"Listen to me; don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. berkeley a lotta women Dwayne, not just one woman, a lotta women."

digdug18
digdug18 HalfDork
6/15/10 6:16 p.m.
92dxman wrote: To make a long story short, I went out with a gal on Saturday night and it was one of the better dates I've gone out on in a long time (she is outdoorsy, okay with getting her hands dirty and likes PBR out of a can). Her and I hung out again on Sunday and that went well too. I think that there is definitely potential between her and I. I've kinda been seeing what else is out there and i'm supposed to have a couple other dates looming in the next week or two. Do I go on with these looming dates or see what happens with the gal I was hanging out with all this past weekend exclusively?

I hope your not trolling the bars in doylestown, there are not the best pickings around there. I found better dating on match.com years ago when I was dating. Like everyone else said, don't volunteer anything. I'd schedule as many dates per week as you can handle, I used to go for 2 a night, and I'd leave it open ended on the 2nd date in case something happened.....

Andrew

autoxrs
autoxrs Reader
6/15/10 7:25 p.m.
3Door4G wrote: Have I ever stopped looking for a car because I might have found one I like?

Yes, but then someone might take that car you were originally looking at. Then you'll end up with some basket case and end up spending all your money to make sure it is running ok. I like exploring one car at a time, that way I don't end up trying to open the wrong door with the wrong key. If you do that you might get caught, then you'll have to explain what happened.

3Door4G
3Door4G Reader
6/15/10 7:39 p.m.

I had to read that last post a couple times in order to take in all the awesomness.

barnca
barnca Reader
6/15/10 7:52 p.m.

im just glad im not datin these days.. always told my wife if we ever divorced she would never have to worry bout or son havin a "new"mom.. i would be all set...would never live with anyone again...not to say i wouldnt want a friend with benefits but she wouldnt be livin with me and when my kid was around she wouldnt be.

autoxrs
autoxrs Reader
6/15/10 7:54 p.m.

If women were like my cars...

'85 Straman CRX Si - she'd be a lesbo

'88 CRX Si (red one) - she'd be a cripple

'88 CRX Si (yellow one) - she'd be fun when she wasn't being a total bitch

'95 Civic LX (B16 swapped) - the kind you can take home to mommy and daddy, but is a freak in bed

'01 MR-S - drop dead gorgeous and bad E36 M3 crazy and would probably kill me

JoeyM
JoeyM HalfDork
6/15/10 8:04 p.m.

dating....I'm a fan of C-14

Jensenman
Jensenman SuperDork
6/15/10 8:09 p.m.
poopshovel wrote: There's some critical information missing here. How old are you? What do you know about chicks 2 and 3? Without that information, all other things being equal, that old golden rule comes in handy. Would you think less of chick 1 if she went out with 2 other dudes in the next week? If so, there's no harm in telling chicks 2 and 3 "I met someone I'm really into and out of respect for both of you, I'd like to see where it goes..." Not only is there no harm in that, but chicks 2 and 3 might swoon at the thought of you not being a total pig. OTOH, if you're totally cool with chick 1 dating other dudes, and chicks 2 and 3 are down with the program, go sew them wild oats, boy. Alan Arkin's character in Little Miss Sunshine had some sound advice: "Listen to me; don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. berkeley a lotta women Dwayne, not just one woman, a lotta women."

Just make sure you safely wrap the old procreative derrick.

Timeormoney
Timeormoney New Reader
6/15/10 8:18 p.m.

Keep the dates with the other chicks. 2 dates is not a relationship. After a month, you should have a better idea. I still recommend the old fighter pilot adage: if it berkeleys, floats or flies; rent it.

92dxman
92dxman HalfDork
6/15/10 10:36 p.m.

In reply to digdug18:

No bar trolling in D Town. I'm not much for cig smoking beer swilling bar girls. I use Match and Plentyoffish.com.

Lesley
Lesley SuperDork
6/16/10 9:11 a.m.

~Shudder~ Plentyoffish is like going through an interview for a job you're not sure you really want.

Xceler8x
Xceler8x Dork
6/16/10 9:36 a.m.

Get the good dater in bed and invite in one of your other prospects. They should then compete for your sexual attention while "entertaining" each other for your delight.

"Pics or it didn't happen" is the law.

Report back.

zomby woof
zomby woof HalfDork
6/16/10 9:47 a.m.
Lesley wrote: ~Shudder~ Plentyoffish is like going through an interview for a job you're not sure you really want.

Isn't that what dating is, for the most part?

Lesley
Lesley SuperDork
6/16/10 9:48 a.m.

Pretty much... guess that's why I'm still single.

nickel_dime
nickel_dime Dork
6/16/10 10:20 a.m.
Lesley wrote: Pretty much... guess that's why I'm still single.

Attractive, intelligent, talented and likes cars. Guys up there must REALLY be out to lunch.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
6/16/10 10:25 a.m.

Oh shnaps, I smell GRoMance.

zomby woof
zomby woof HalfDork
6/16/10 12:04 p.m.
nickel_dime wrote:
Lesley wrote: Pretty much... guess that's why I'm still single.
Attractive, intelligent, talented and likes cars. Guys up there must REALLY be out to lunch.

See the 'dear women' thread

NYG95GA
NYG95GA SuperDork
6/17/10 5:19 p.m.

A wise man once said:

" One must have dated a woman of great intellect to know what pleasure there is in dating a fool."

I'm not a wise man.. but I couldn't have said it better myself. The girl that I live with is as dumb as a bag of hammers, and sweeter than fresh sugar cane. I wouldn't trade her for a Miata. We're both in our mid fifties, where priorities change to the practical side. Neither of us has ever been married.

I recommend "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" by John Gray. It's very illuminating.

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