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Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker Dork
11/9/09 10:48 p.m.
RexSeven wrote: Figure out a way to make one of these road-worthy: What? It's not like the railroad is going to care...

YEAH! Now your bringing it... if that train is pulling a tanker of Jeger and we can get some concertina wire out on the sides we can make due.

JetMech
JetMech Reader
11/9/09 11:46 p.m.
Trans_Maro wrote: My truck: Shawn

I like those Gladiator/J-Series trucks--just wish I fit in 'em a little better.

BAMF
BAMF Reader
11/10/09 12:20 a.m.
Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: You need a vehicle that rends flesh and sprays blood like a fine red mist that colors the landscape for miles.

Were it $2k, this would do nicely:

Spinout007
Spinout007 Reader
11/10/09 6:19 a.m.

I agree with the mule and light armor, but you have to add 2 shotguns, and as much ammo as you can load onto it.

First shotgun is a Police issue remington loaded with these.dragons breath

Second shotgun is one of these for distance work, add a drum mag or two and you get the idea.saiga

RossD
RossD HalfDork
11/10/09 7:20 a.m.

if zombies are a running, I'm not paying for E36 M3.

rmarkc
rmarkc Reader
11/10/09 7:27 a.m.
Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: You need a vehicle that rends flesh and sprays blood like a fine red mist that colors the landscape for miles.

A Blazer might be boring but it is rolling shelter for when you can't find a place to hole up.

The rolling Cuisinart you're describing would be the equivalent of a track day car. Yeah, it would be fun but it isn't something you would take on a looting run. All your spoils and booty would be covered by potentially infectious blood and gore.

I like Twinkies as much as the next guy but I aint gonna eat one covered in pureed Zombie bits.

Luke
Luke SuperDork
11/10/09 7:41 a.m.

That train thing above looks badass, but I wouldn't want to be restricted to the railways.

Realistically, (lol, zombies, realistically?), it would be every man for himself, and I'd be stealing me a tank. Observing the 2K budget cap, however, I like the idea of a home-brewed, caged, go-kart type creation, something like a Paris to Dakar buggy, but armed and armored. Plenty of ground clearance, fast, go-anywhere agility, and turbo diesel power for economy.

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Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker Dork
11/10/09 8:07 a.m.
rmarkc wrote:
Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: You need a vehicle that rends flesh and sprays blood like a fine red mist that colors the landscape for miles.
A Blazer might be boring but it is rolling shelter for when you can't find a place to hole up. The rolling Cuisinart you're describing would be the equivalent of a track day car. Yeah, it would be fun but it isn't something you would take on a looting run. All your spoils and booty would be covered by potentially infectious blood and gore. I like Twinkies as much as the next guy but I aint gonna eat one covered in pureed Zombie bits.

Mere rolling shelter == FAIL.

My bone stripper machine has a gondola, beer, heavy metal and makes cheetos. There is no sleep until the last one is mulch. I watch the movies... you can't relax EVER.

Gearheadotaku
Gearheadotaku Reader
11/10/09 10:19 a.m.

Why is everyone so obsessed with zombies these past few years? Not that its a bad thing, just curious. I'll take my 2k to the suplus auction and hope to score an enclosed humvee. Runs on diesel, lots of ground clearence. That J10 posted earlier is sweet.

stoptheeconobox
stoptheeconobox New Reader
11/10/09 11:00 a.m.

Great ideas! now, what weapons would you have on the thing? remember, the wilder, the better!

maroon92
maroon92 SuperDork
11/10/09 11:16 a.m.

I only need one weapon. Chain saw.

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH SuperDork
11/10/09 11:20 a.m.
ckosacranoid wrote: 4x4 pickup, big cow catcher on the front, pintal mounted maching gun inn the bed....a couple of extra flame trowers also......

+1

That Jeep pickup is really badass BTW

I ran across some "zombie survival forums" once where they talk about stuff like this all day...very GRM-esque

neon4891
neon4891 SuperDork
11/10/09 12:11 p.m.

As much as I love the enthusiaum, most of what is described is absoulutly contadictory to the lesson to be learned in the ZSG.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
11/10/09 1:18 p.m.
Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: All these boring vehicles... these are zombies fer chrissakes. A Jeep? A Blazer? A police interceptor? berkeley off with that E36 M3. You need a vehicle that rends flesh and sprays blood like a fine red mist that colors the landscape for miles. The Combine was all I could find on google and its juuust OK. I'm picturing a 40' wide gear driven dual stage snowthrower feeding a series of caterpillar v8 powered wood chippers that sprays output into a nitromethane flamethrower exhaust of an engine that does nothing but burn nitromethane. It has treads so they can't bite thru the tires, driven by a locomotive engine making torque numbers approximating infinity. It has KERS so they fry if they touch it. It has a 140000w stereo loaded with the entire Iron Maiden collection and a beer Meister loaded with good IPA. It makes its own Cheetos somehow. It only costs two grand because it was special ordered by a guy who was killed in Vietnam and his widow sold it to a guy I know. It is painted flat black.

IMHO, GPSW is not only in the lead by a mile, but is now my berkeleying hero.

Lacking the supreme zombie slaying vision snorkelwhacker has, I'm confident I could put this together for less than a grand:

I haven't seen a $2010 GRM Zombieslayer Challenge Budget sheet yet. So here we go:

Bigrig RV pictured above: $900

I've got probably 30 used sawblades here at the shop. No good for cutting picture frames. Perfect for dicing zombies. Front mounted on a threaded rod, spaced a few inches apart, motorcycle-engine powered, sticking out about 4' from the front: ~$200

Custom cowcatcher behind the Zombie Slap Chop, that wraps around the chained run-flats up front, and includes multiple razor sharp used lawnmower blades, welded to the cowcatcher flares: ~$300 (tires and chains)

Welded side and rear windows - "Safety items." FREE

1/2" Lexan front windows, with upgraded 5 gallon washer fluid jug and pump for cleaning zombie schmang from the windshield: $100

Of course, my bikini-clad goddess wife will be slaying zombies with me from the raised passenger seat, using two super-soakers, purchased at a garage sale, filled with gasoline, firing from the "turret" made from cutting a free 55 gallon drum in half and welding it to the roof. She will also have grandaddy's single shot 12 gauge, and boxes and boxes of buck shot, and "special purpose" shot (like the "dragon's tail" - always wanted to try that E36 M3) stolen from the gun store: ~$75 (including fair market value for the 12 gauge.)

Per Challenge rules, stereo equipment doesn't count toward the budget. Multiple externally mounted garage sale house speakers - I'll have to go for Slayer and Lamb of God over Maiden, but tomato/tomato: FREE.

Twin side/rear mounted pulse jets, also created from 55 gallon drums, also using razor sharp, large, used lawnmower blades, honda injectors (I've got at least 3 dozen in the basement - FMV.) and spark plugs. These will not only serve as "emergency propulsion" should something happen to the mighty diesel, they will also burn anything behind them, and dice up and wayward zombie limbs. FMV for injectors, plugs, wires, etc, etc: ~$150.

Spare motor: $285.

Total: $2010.

berkeley. I'm thinking the Rusteevah needs a cowcatcher and twin pulse jets.

Jake
Jake HalfDork
11/10/09 2:48 p.m.

I love it.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker Dork
11/10/09 3:44 p.m.
poopshovel wrote:

If I break a shear pin or run out of beer I'll definitely jump onboard that thing.

poopshovel
poopshovel SuperDork
11/10/09 4:09 p.m.

If you wanna ride in the super happy fun bus, you'll have to sack up and drink whiskey.

JFX001
JFX001 Dork
11/10/09 4:25 p.m.
poopshovel wrote: If you wanna ride in the super happy fun bus, you'll have to sack up and drink whiskey.

I hereby withdraw my previous Miata based ride.

^This....with a set of DOT "batwing" mower decks on each side,adjustable to 90* for your Zombie killing pleasure.

pinchvalve
pinchvalve SuperDork
11/10/09 4:38 p.m.

Who wastes their time thinking up answers to asinine questions like this?

The price cap makes sense, the zombies haven't taken over yet and you are building this to prepare. You wife balked at what you spent for those new roll bars, how do you get a zombie-killing machine approved?!?!? $2k is tops to remain married.

I figure that if the Zombies are taking over, you won't have access to bullets and flame-thrower supplies for long. Guns are out, so your vehicle has to be your weapon. You can get gas from underground for a good long time, so perhaps go with something diesel and have a hand-pump and a long hose. You will also need some spare tires.

Protecting yourself is important. There will be times when you stall or get stuck and get surrounded. Zombies are not too bright, so a properly welded and locked vehicle should be fine. No windows, all steel plate and reinforced grates. You will also need to go anywhere, so a snorkel and 4WD is important. You may be living in the vehicle, so some room for food, a bed and supplies would be nice.

Quigly Van

Starting with a cheap old 4x4 conversion van would be my pick. Add diamond plate or similar over the windows, weld the side doors shut, add a big internal lock on the rear doors, and bank-safe style locks on the front. (sliding pins into the frame) Reinforce the front to protect the radiator, or relocate it altogether. Add KC daylighters up high out of the zombie-smackin zone. Add a BIG steel pumper up front and out back. Run all wiring and plumbing inside so the zombies can't chew through them while you are asleep.

A supply of chainsaws, axes, and swords would come in handy for when you have to venture out for supplies. A second pump could be used to suck up water into an internal tank without leaving the van. I think these vans are RV's as well, so there would be some storage, a toilet and a bed.

If price was not an object:

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo SuperDork
11/10/09 4:47 p.m.

Got my vote.

The Jeep pickup is badass. I wouldn't want to get guts all over it.

NYG95GA
NYG95GA SuperDork
11/10/09 6:25 p.m.
stoptheeconobox wrote: Great ideas! now, what weapons would you have on the thing? remember, the wilder, the better!

I already told ya.

DISRUPTER.

Sounds so much cooler than "phaser" or "blaster". Badass to the bone (not that there are any bones left after you're done using it..).

On second thought, a Photon Torpedo sounds pretty cool, too.

pinchvalve
pinchvalve SuperDork
11/10/09 6:39 p.m.

I forgot about a special weapon. OK, so bullets and stuff don't work, you need to explode the brain or cut off the head. Perhaps spinning lawnmower blades on extensions out front? A large scissor-arrangement to collect slow-moving zombies and then clip off the heads en-masse? A large drum with flailing hammers to bludgeon them?

Spinout007
Spinout007 Reader
11/10/09 6:45 p.m.
pinchvalve wrote:

Always had a thing for those armored ferrets. Aux flame thrower FTW!

BobOfTheFuture
BobOfTheFuture Reader
11/10/09 6:48 p.m.

mine sweeper FTW

friedgreencorrado
friedgreencorrado Dork
11/10/09 7:01 p.m.
stoptheeconobox wrote: here's the deal. you have to save your best friend from a blood-thirsty gang of zombies. you have two grand to buy and modify a vehicle to fight those zombies. the wilder ideas, the better. but remember: this is all for under 2 grand.

Two elderly 4x4 pickups with welded scrap metal "cow catchers" up front-and about thirty feet of steel cable connnecting them at the doors.

http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Crazy-Simon-Clark/dp/0843948256

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