Welcome back! I'm writing this from the future! If only I could talk to poor, dumb past me from poor, slightly less dumb present me. Though if I didn't make the mistakes would present me be as clever? Who knows!
Covid had begun to make it clear that it wasn't going anywhere and I consoled myself by spending a lot of money I promised myself I wasn't going to spend on a well and truly broken car. One that, even if fixed, would still be slow as dirt.
So spend money I did, a big round of ordering from my good friends at RockAuto started the avalanche of STUFF.
Ah, dopamine! How I covet thee.
The avalanche is already started, why stop? Can you even stop an avalanche? (maybe a chevy avalanche?) TreasureCoast, Good-win Racing, and Flyin' Miata were tapped in rapid succession. Keep in mind, at this point the car still had no motor and had never previously run. I skipped 3d chess - I'm playing 4d chess at this point, I can't even keep up with my own genius.
Enough spending money - I've got to fix the big problem areas that I noted previously.
Begin the teardown! Everyone's favorite part of this automotive game. Everything will come apart EZ-PZ!
5 minutes later.....
It only took an entire night to remove this stripped out mofo - and this car isn't even rust! I then ordered super low profile impact sockets! A 17mm wrench fits over the other end and save me from the same fate on the other side (which was equally smart). NOW I'M PLAYING 5-D CHESS. Eat my shorts Star Trek.
I rip apart the entire rear of the car. Bushings get pressed in, uber fancy upper control arms get attached. One of my favorite things, Paco Camber Locks get installed.
My least favorite job, replacing wheel bearings and pressing in extended studs happens next.
Rebuilt rear-calipers get slapped in.
Now comes time to rip apart the front end of the car.
Poop. Let's scale it back - I'm only playing 4d chess at this point. This car has been clearly whacked. And whacked hard. It appears a body shop had straightened the panels - or they only hit the front wheel hard. But either way. I had to cut the front upper arm bolt in half to get it out (new arm and bolt ordered). The front subframe is gacked - I order another one after running through the cross measurements and seeing that it's mostly straight. Fwoo..... What was the budget again? Better not to count. Enough fixing things, let's instead throw money at the problems.
I start some rust repair while I'm waiting on the subframe and misc parts to get in. I do a pretty good job if I do say so myself, 4.5-D chess it is!
**Then comes the moment. A moment we car-folk know well: "The Easy Job."
I take my new sub-frame and line one side of the bolts up. Beautiful, I get the nut started to hold it in place while I get the driver's side in......
"Wait..... What?"
I'm going to assume, with my superior intellect, that the bolts on the car side of the subframe mount should not be 1" off in each direction.
**"The Easy Job" moment intensifies. You cross your ankles. Stare hard at the pieces, measure things, bargain with your car, the equipment, and finally use an instrument of percussive adjustment.
I check measurements on the new subframe. The old subframe. The bolts on the car. "Yeah. That's bent."
**"The Easy Job" moment crescendos, and then falls silent.
It was at this time I knew I had done messed up in a structural way. 1-D chess welcomes me back to the fold. Aliens skip our planet because of the massive blunder. The universe laughs at my well laid out plan.
I am outlawed from playing chess at all - it's checkers only for the rest of my days.
I take a long/intermediate break from automotive pursuits and take up meditation.
I take a few more naps.
I think "Happy Thoughts" and take up knitting.
I consider finding a hill with a big hole at the end to roll my prolifically bent red chassis and shiny parts down.
See you Space Cowboy!
P.S. When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut?