Apparently I don't party like Pasterjak parties

This quote from Pasterjak's review of the new elantra and veloster in the newest edition sounds uncomfortable.

"Recent versions of the Civic have failed to knock our socks out of our butts."

I'd say that's a fairly accurate assessment - in fact, the Veloster turbo didn't even unwrinkle my hose....

Lesley wrote: I'd say that's a fairly accurate assessment - in fact, the Veloster turbo didn't even unwrinkle my hose....

Damn. That's disappointing. (flame-retardant suit adorned) I really dig the looks of the Veloster.

Unfortunately, the shifter is sloppy, the steering numb. I drove it when it first came out, and then again recently, back-to-back with the BRZ, FRS and Focus ST... which only served to make it more disappointing. I dubbed the shifter "Mr.-Not-So-Happy".

Lesley wrote: Unfortunately, the shifter is sloppy, the steering numb. I drove it when it first came out, and then again recently, back-to-back with the BRZ, FRS and Focus ST... which only served to make it more disappointing. I dubbed the shifter "Mr.-Not-So-Happy".

Best review of a shifter I ever read was in an issue of 'golden era' Car and Driver. Car was a Dodge Daytona. Can't recall who wrote it, but the quote was, "..like a plunger stuck in a bucket of gravel..".

My favorite was also in Car and Driver, I think. Don't remember the car, but the writer equated the shifter with "stirring a bag of antlers".

Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

Lesley wrote: I dubbed the shifter "Mr.-Not-So-Happy".

I lol'd.

Lesley wrote: Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

Truth. That man is genius.

A Mitsubishi shifts " like a screwdriver stuck in a bucket of e36m3" from a guy who owns three of them

Lesley wrote: Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

Yeah, I like Phillips a lot, too. Sometimes I read his stuff and it sounds a little too precious, like he's oh-so-amused with himself for constructing such a clever sentence, but mostly that just because I wish I would have come up with it.

I like to think that I make up for my lack of talent compared to other auto writers with sheer volume of thinly-veiled dick jokes. Seems to have gotten me this far.

I used to really like reading PJ O'Rourke's car stuff back when he used to do a lot of work for Car and Driver, and later Automobile. I always loved that he approached the subject matter with a perspective that there was a larger world out there. Not so much as an outsider, just someone who understood that the sun didn't rise and set around automobiles, but loved them nonetheless. And some of it was downright hee-larious.

jg

Lesley wrote: Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

I gave up my subscription to that rag a long time ago, but really miss Phillips. I was in a doc office just last week reading one of his columns, and had to ask the nurse if I could bring it with me!

JG Pasterjak wrote:

Lesley wrote: Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

Yeah, I like Phillips a lot, too. Sometimes I read his stuff and it sounds a little too precious, like he's oh-so-amused with himself for constructing such a clever sentence, but mostly that just because I wish I would have come up with it. I like to think that I make up for my lack of talent compared to other auto writers with sheer volume of thinly-veiled dick jokes. Seems to have gotten me this far. I used to really like reading PJ O'Rourke's car stuff back when he used to do a lot of work for Car and Driver, and later Automobile. I always loved that he approached the subject matter with a perspective that there was a larger world out there. Not so much as an outsider, just someone who understood that the sun didn't rise and set around automobiles, but loved them nonetheless. And some of it was downright hee-larious. jg

But socks out of a butt? What the?...

bravenrace wrote:

JG Pasterjak wrote:

Lesley wrote: Probably John Phillips – the only auto writer that makes me snort out loud.

Yeah, I like Phillips a lot, too. Sometimes I read his stuff and it sounds a little too precious, like he's oh-so-amused with himself for constructing such a clever sentence, but mostly that just because I wish I would have come up with it. I like to think that I make up for my lack of talent compared to other auto writers with sheer volume of thinly-veiled dick jokes. Seems to have gotten me this far. I used to really like reading PJ O'Rourke's car stuff back when he used to do a lot of work for Car and Driver, and later Automobile. I always loved that he approached the subject matter with a perspective that there was a larger world out there. Not so much as an outsider, just someone who understood that the sun didn't rise and set around automobiles, but loved them nonetheless. And some of it was downright hee-larious. jg

But socks out of a butt? What the?...

Well, some veils are not as thin....

bravenrace wrote: But socks out of a butt? What the?...

Sounds like an oblique reference to a silly Richard Gere-type rumor

Lesley wrote: I dubbed the shifter "Mr.-Not-So-Happy".

I think it was Phillips who wrote of the Yugo shifter: 'it moves with all the subtlety of a baseball bat embedded in a barrel of coconuts'.

He was on the Boss 302 launch at Laguna Seca a couple of years ago. I said hello to him, but we were seated at different tables for dinner and I didn't have the nutz to go up and chat with him.

JG Pasterjak wrote: I used to really like reading PJ O'Rourke's car stuff back when he used to do a lot of work for Car and Driver, and later Automobile. jg

One of my favorite PJ segments:

"Julian settled into the drivers seat and gave the Millenium Falcon-like controls a momentary glance. Then he stamped on the accelerator with an expensive loafer and redlined the 308 up through the gears to a hundred miles an hour through the potato fields and abandoned burger stands without time to take his hand off the shifter until he hit fifth, and when he did have time to take his hand off he used that hand to plop a Blondie cassette into the Blaupunkt and a quarter ton of decibels came on with "Die Young Stay Pretty," and the scenery exploded in the distance,bush and tree debris flying at us while my eyeballs pressed all the way back into the medulla, and that quadruple-throated three-quart V8 wound up beyond the vocal range of Maria Callas, Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, leaving, I'm sure, a trail of shattered stemware in the more prosperous of the farmhouses we passed along our way."

And thats when I realised I'd never be a writer.

But all you guys at Grassroots are good, too. Really.

Sigh. And that's why I spend most of my time staring at a blank computer screen, totally understanding why Dorothy Parker stuck her head in the oven....

I love that picture. (been there too many times)

In reply to poopshovel:

Hey now, I haven't even shipped this thing yet.