Help a friend or not

What's everyone's opinion on working on someone else's car. Co-worker friend wants some help on his car . Years and years ago I helped someone with a "cheap" fix that turned into wormhole of other stuff going wrong and got blamed for it. Some people don't understand how/what an easy fix can turn into can of worms. Would like to be helpful but hate for more issues to come up with a catch the blame

Depends on the other person you're helping.  No one I help would ever come back with anger to me. 

How well do you know his person? Are they a “car minded” kind of person? You know, the kinda guy that says “hey help me with this transmission!” And later on when your elbow deep, you say to him “this ain’t gonna work, I’m done.” He replies “that’s cool, I get it.”

And how much “help” are you giving? There’s sittin there and drinking a beer while explaining to a young trackmouse how to put those bolts in, and then there’s older trackmouse doing 100% of the work while his “helper” went inside to watch anime or pet a dog. 

Also- draw the line at not helping beyond the task first agreed upon. Helping change a clutch in one weekend, but not two weekends, or helping replace the slave cylinder, the master, the bent lines, the bleeding, the “hey do you know anyone that can resurface the flywheel too?”, etc. 

The best way to make these types go away in the first place is to charge them, handsomely. Everyone wants a free hand out, but it’s amazing how quickly “friends” scatter when money becomes the topic. 

jfryjfry said:

Depends on the other person you're helping.  No one I help would ever come back with anger to me. 

Quoted for truth. 

If your car is in my shop, and I'm in charge of the repairs, you aren't just a casual friend. That's a pretty short list of people.

If I'm just offering moral support, technical support, and muscle, then I feel no responsibility for how the repair turns out, no matter what they say.

Edit: There are a few people that also have the door code to my shop and permission to use it when needed. That's a extremely short list. 

Chris and I were just talking about this. He's too nice and ends up doing the work for people. I'm of the mindset that I'll help/teach but you're doing the work if it's your car. I'm more patient whereas he gets frustrated and just pushes them out of the way to do it. 

I have a few good friends I would help with anything. "Co-worker friend" doesn't sound that close. Sounds like a judgment call situation to me. Helping with work at their place is a lower bar than working on it at my place. If it's at my place I can't say "Well, good luck, I gotta go home and eat dinner!"

Well what bugs me the most is he's a guy that's lil unsure how to even do a basic tune up. But he is of a single income family and can't afford to pay someone. I'd like to help, and tried to warn him some stuff isn't that simple. But he also is a " I read this is all that needs to be done" type too..

In reply to Papabishop :

On Saturday I was putting the socket on the spark plugs but letting the guy actually do the work to pull them off. I look at it as a teaching moment.  Tell him what to do and why.  He may turn into a car buddy for you. 

In reply to Stampie :

Maybe I will try

My enthusiasm for others work has also waned.   While some are deserving and will do most of the work and only need guidance, I have had others that ask if there is any beer in the fridge and if I have the sports package so they don't miss the game while I swap out their radiator.

At worse, they may ask you to pay for additional repairs you may not be able to do, a tow or who knows what.  I once gave up a weekend to help a buddy rebuild the front end on his Tahoe.  He bought a parts kits off ebay that was aweful.  I could not get the ball joints to press in for the life of me and ended up with too much red wrench on the arms and melted the inside of said E36 M3ty ball joints without ever getting them in.  I was rewarded for my weekend of work by purchasing $150/ pair ball joints from NAPA (that went in perfect) to replace the garbage $30/ pair from ebay.  

Advise, yes, muscle, most likely, my garage and doing all the work, questionable.  Also remember most will not respect your tools and space like you do.  If you haven't seen how they keep their, I won't let them in mine.

Interesting.  First I have never bought parts for anyone.  I learned friends and $$$ don't often mix...  With that said, I help everyone I can as long as I don't feel like I am being taken advantage of.  Most of the guys who ask for my help know nothing about cars but want to learn. In that instance I talk them through doing the process, step by step, and help when they get stuck.  Like others have said a few of them have turned into car guys and do their own projects.  What started off as them coming to my house and using my tools has turned into "I'm doing ____ at my house this week if you want to come watch".  Not even help just watch.    But there are others I've helped who still can't figure out righty tighty/lefty loosey, they also learned after a project or two that cars just aren't their thing.  

I think like anything else if we have a skill, tool, etc. that can help others we should use it to do so.   Heck, I can't take any of this stuff with me when I die, what good does it do to hoard it away? 

EDIT: I should add that I don't loan things out that I can't afford to live without.  If I loan it out I assume I may never see it again.

I've helped a few friends and co-workers with their cars.  It's always been someone I consider a friend, regardless of the work relationship.  Some project have gone sideways, like the time I offered to show my friend how to change his breaks on his '01 Geo Prizm.  I think 5 of the 8 lugs on the front wheels snapped off because the guy at the tire shop cross threaded the lug nuts for us.  That was a fun day of running around and getting parts!  In the end, he saved hundreds over what a shop would have charged him, and he was in a situation where that meant a lot to him.  

My general rule is that I'm willing to teach something if you're willing to learn - it's how I learned.

Nope. Nope. And Nope. 

I rarely work on my own cars these days (although recently all have been new enough to not need it), I'm not spending a day on my back or hunched over in the garage for free on a day off. 

But I'm also not going to charge for a repair and become responsible for it. 

I love working on stuff and I love helping people, but I'm also a person who preaches the value of realistic expectations and possible outcomes.  So I'd approach it like a jigsaw puzzle:  build the borders (explanation of best- and worst-possible outcomes, research of the effort and cost to DIY), then fill in the rest if the other person hasn't been scared off.

I've done a few brake jobs and similar stuff with / for co-workers, usually in the company parking lot.  Just last fall I did rear drums / shoes on my co-worker's mid-Oughties Cobalt, which was metal on metal in back.  They've been having financial issues and it saved him some money on parts, and all the money on labor.  I put the appropriate parts in a Rock Auto cart for him, he bought them, and we spent a long long lunch hour in the parking lot behind the office.

I was happy to do it... but this is a guy I like and trust.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't have.

I'm barely willing to do repair work for family, much less friends. I agree with AC's description above. 

I'm in the process of ending a 20 year friendship over car repairs. I'm still trying to figure out how "hey come stands on the brakes while I fix this" led to me getting shoved out of the way, ignored, then left with a car in worse shape needing parts that don't exist happened. And it being my fault to boot. 

I ask for help a lot, and I acknowledge that,but when I ask for help, I want someone to tell me or show me then let me go do it and evaluate my work after, so I don't have to ask for help again.instead, it usually winds up half flying by the seat of the pants and half hunting in the internet afterwards to find out why what happened happened. 

At this point, anything more than brakes or tire changes I refuse to help with altogether because I've learned being nice to people isn't worth it

If I have a free bay in the garage and a few hours I will help casual friends do brakes, suspension, pull codes and do diagnostic work, press work, etc.  Helped a few great people out in tight spots, I can't stand to see good people taken advantage of or overpay for car work.  Car folks like us have a gift that should be shared, not everyone is so fortunate.  

Grew tired of being Tom Sawyered into being someones free personal mechanic, here is my solution.

Tier 1:  Really good friends who are gearhead peers:   will thrash on with them or trade favors.  Case in point, a friend loaned my his truck and trailer a few times. In exchange I swapped the motor mounts and catalytic converter on his miata. (notably, I have a 4 post lift and he doesnt).  He later inquired about a clutch job and I gave him a tier 2 response.

Tier 2: Friends/non gearhead family:  Come over and you can do it on my lift with me advising you. (I most likely wont be getting my hands dirty). I kind of have an expectation a car wont be occupying my lift or driveway for long and try to keep it to small jobs. In-laws want a brake job? Come on over, I'll tell you how to DIY and you can use my tools. Dont give them the fish, teach them to.  Funny part, NO TAKERS so far. Although they guy I borrowed the truck from is trying to find time to come swap O2 sensors on his miata.    In Laws havent taken me up on so much as an oil change under this regemin. 

Exception: I am a sucker for a good racecar project.  

Tier 2 that don't take your offer really should go to the quick lube as that is what they are really looking for but at a cheeper price and most don't understand that the quick lube is usually cheaper than I would charge and / or want to do it.  Or better yet when you do "help" and then you get that look when you ask to be compensated for the oil and the filter and they complain that it costs more than the quick lube. place.  Ya . . .  don't let the door hit you on the way out.   

Yeah. I have learned that bartering with someone cuts the bull out. When someone says “hey fix my dryer!” I yell back “fix my front door first”. I never get a reply or see eyeballs after that. But if I do, I know they are serious, and then so am I. 

I used to help people more than I do now.  Coupla reasons:

#1 I have two kids now and not as much free time.  Almost all of my free time gets used up working on my own projects

#2 People were taking advantage of my time/tools/knowledge.

#2 Really pisses me off.  When I take an entire morning of my sparse free time to "help" (read mostly do it for you) you work on your car, the least you can do is be appreciative, help me clean up and then take me and whoever from my family is kicking around the house out for lunch.

I refuse to take money for work. If you try to pay me, we're done. That means we're either good enough friends to expect this kind of favor, or you should go to a shop. 

In reply to mazdeuce - Seth :

I take a different approach. If someone throws me extra money beyond the parts I consider it a thank you. I don't expect it, certainly, but I won't get mad about it or return it.

I would have little problem "helping" some of my closer car club guys.  But I'm not "doing" the work for the guy that has no business owning a British car.  Fortunately, one of our members is a legitimate Brit who does it for a living.   

I've gotten to where I don't even like doing my own work.