I’ve lost a small fortune to compulsive car buying and modding. Time to try and break the cycle?

Ahhh, roninsoldier, we have much in common, it seems. I've been sober for many years, but along the path I sought to learn about myself and my addictions. Forget the "fix", that's a circular way of thinking. Manage is more appropriate, I think. Addictive behavior of any sort has a common theme. At the core, it's always about the "why".  Overactive minds are playgrounds in some regards and I treasure mine most of the time. They can also be sources of self-defeating thoughts and behavior. 

FWIW, I now spread my compulsive behavior over several, if not many things. I have a house that needs lots of remodeling. I have a place to work that provides many diversions. For a while, I had big interest in my YouTube channel. The list goes on and on. Rather than try to rein in my imagination, I've just given myself many ways to express it and am continually seeking more. I don't think much about the economies of it, but rather regard it all as engaging entertainment.  I do give myself some guardrails: I don't spend the rent money and I don't follow my dreams at other's expense.

From where I sit, I'd say one of your gifts is writing. You're eloquent. Perhaps exploiting that could take the focus off the cars to some extent. Many sandboxes, that's my way of managing. That and knowing in my bones that my happiness is mostly up to me. FWIW, I can honestly say, at 69 years, I'm happier than I've ever been.  Perhaps that's of some help.

Sheesh this sounds 100% like me lol I feel you, man. Also trying to break the cycle on my end, but I finally have a daily/weekend car combo where I love both cars (and both have sentimental value for different reasons) so hopefully that'll help me refrain from buying the next newer shinier thing that will inevitably come along. 

Glad to hear this isn't anything more than boredom. Setting some rules is likely to help here. Also keep in mind it's often impossible to recapture the initial excitement when starting a hobby, but you can move on to long term satisfaction. You might also want to pick up some other hobbies to switch between.

In reply to Pete:

It seems like there are two things in play with your examples. One is that some enthusiasts enjoy the tinkering and some don't. And if you don't, it's definitely best to just start with a car that's as close to what you want as you can.

If you tell a car enthusiast "For that price, you could have bought a ____," some will wonder why they didn't just start with a ____, and others will say, "But where's the fun in that?"

Then there's mods that don't match the car's real use. Installing mods intended for an all out drag car on your daily driver that rarely sees motorsport use can be about as much fun as having a bone stock car that you only trailer to drag races.

In reply to carbidetooth :

In reply to ShinnyGroove (Forum Supporter) :

In reply to Tom1200 :


Sage words, gentlemen! I appreciate you all sharing your experiences and insights. Thank you all! 



In reply to docwyte :

You're not alone in going through daily drivers quickly. I currently have three vehicles, technically 4 if you count my work car... not counting my wife's vehicles: 

-My take-home work car that I use to commute back and forth to work. 
-2021 Mazda 3 Turbo AWD Sedan. I guess you could kind of call this my "daily", but really, I drive my work car back and forth to work. This is my non-daily, daily. 
-2008 BMW 128i. This has been an on-going project for the past two years. I've put it up for sale twice, but both times, removed the listing within 24 hours. For whatever reason, I do love this car, even if it's an absolute pile. https://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/build-projects-and-project-cars/e82-128i-when-your-projected-track-car-turns-into-your-daily/258441/page1/
-2020 ND2 Mazda Miata Club. I just recently acquired this car. I'm going to try and not go down the rabbit hole with this one. 

My Mazda 3 Turbo is just about the perfect "daily". It's very comfortable, easy/stress-free to drive, it never bothers my right knee, it's great in the snow, it's paid off and does 99% of the things I need it to do. I have no intention of ever modifying it. Despite being 4 years old, it only has 11k miles on the clock and about 2.5 years left under the factory-extended warranty. Yet, I sometimes still go down the rabbit-hole of "what if". I find myself coming up with reasons to look at other daily drivers, like: 

-Well, it would be nice to have more back seat room for the kids... the oldest has her own car... I only pile multiple kids into the back maybe a handful of times a year, otherwise, we just take my wife's car. This isn't a "need", as the car still works just fine, but if anyone has to sit behind me (which is rare), it's pretty cramped- but still works just fine. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about trading it in- even though I can't find another "normal" car that I like to drive nearly as much within my price range- for which I'm actually thankful as that's kept the car in my garage for a full year now. 

-Or I think: maybe I should get an SUV or truck to haul large items? Honestly, on average, there's only about once a year that I go to Home Depot and can't fit something in the back of a sedan. I can rent a truck from Home Depot for $20 and it takes up an extra ~30 minutes of my time, roughly once a year... absolutely not a need... but that doesn't stop me from looking and test driving, for something that truly isn't needed and will just lead to me wanting the next "what if" in 6-12 months. 


What is slowly hitting me is that I should probably stop going on test drives until an actual need arises. I would like to sub my test-driving hobby out for something that doesn't lead to me using my garage as a constantly revolving door. 

I should have added under the "be vigilant" part that I have to prioritize things on a monthly/weekly basis.

This is because my mind goes to fantastical places.

So here is this month's version:

I went to Willow Springs, the motor pulled 7600 rpm and really ran great  but I'm getting pulled down straights by the cars just ahead of me. Also the car was a bit also a bit lazy climbing up the hill in turn 2.

No problem I have another motor that's maybe 8 hrs from being finished and it will had 10-12hp. I'll put that in.

Wait wait wait you just said the motor ran great; why would you pull a good running motor?

OK it's analysis time.

The new motor is tuned as such that it won't make the car a class winner (I'm 6 seconds off) but I sure would like a bit more oomph going up the hill in turn 2.

OK what can I do to get the car to pull better up the hill and thusly make the car more fun.

The cylinder head that I was going to use on the new motor has bigger valves and slightly higher compression but it's been heavily milled. This will require rocker spacers with the cam that's in the new motor but it's isn't a problem with the cam that's in the motor in the car now.

I can swap that out in about 2 hours and this will add 6-7hp.

Additional bonus is the head on the car can be sent out to have the largest valves possible installed. Doing that will make the total increase about 20hp over what it was at Willow Springs.  This will only cost me about $600-$700.

While all of the above is going I also think I should get another block that will allow me to build a full class limit 1300cc block. This would add only another which will add another 4-5hp and cost about $1800. 

All of this was probably 8hrs worth of conversation in my head because as we all know cars and car parts tend to be emotional decisions. This is why I have spreadsheets; they help take the emotion out of the decision making.

In reply to roninsoldier83 :

How to start every day:

A. wake up

B. turn off the alarm

C. Say "I will not go on a test drive"

In reply to roninsoldier83 :

It's been a long time since I've gone on a test drive just because.  I'm busy doing other things that I'd rather do, like mtn bike, ski, taking my son to his activities, work on my current cars, etc.  So maybe just more distractions will keep you from dealer lots?

I'm kinda locked into SUV's of a certain size for tax reasons, so that makes decisions easy.  I don't need an off roader and I like German cars, hence two Cayenne's in my garage right now.  They just check all the boxes and if your Mazda 3 does that, then just focus your attention on the 128.  I'm sure (even tho it's prepped to the class rules) once you start auto-xing it you'll find other small things you want to tweak and that'll keep you engaged...

In reply to roninsoldier83 :

I enjoy reading your stories here and on your new blog but I definitely wondered if the taxes were a giant buzz killer.. I want to thank and curse you for passively talking me into buying a 128i. Fun car though.

So pump the brakes. Understand what has value in your life and run toward it. 

In reply to docwyte :

You're probably onto something there. Prior to Covid, I was always busy- I was pretty heavy into CrossFit, hiking 14ers and trained regularly for endurance obstacle courses- the last Tough Mudder my cousin and I ran, we beat the average finish time by an hour. We trained hard regularly and had a blast. Covid hit and I started spending less time in the gym/training (partially because they closed my gym for a while) and more time in the garage.

In the summer of 2020 I had a surgery that really took me out of the game for an extended period of time. Running and jumping became a no-go for a while, so I spent a lot of that energy in the garage. Unfortunately, around February 2022, I sustained a nasty lower back injury- ironically, in the garage. I'm used to pushing through pain, which, in hindsight, was a bad idea. I ended up in physical therapy for over a year. Once my back started feeling better, I started pushing too hard, too fast, leading to some setbacks and during a pretty intense training exercise that I really wasn't conditioned for at the time, I ended up dislocating my shoulder- which put me down for another few months. 

Come to think of it, I've been banged up pretty good these past few years! 

I've been back in the gym for a while now- I'm finally able to do a decent number of box jumps and pull-ups again, but I haven't trained quite like I used to. I still have a few other hobbies- but getting back to training like I used to would probably help quite a bit. As would some other things, like getting more involved at my church and spending more time focusing on my relationship with the Lord. Things that probably matter more than spending all my time blowing through money and turning wrenches! 

In reply to OHSCrifle :

Thanks brother, I appreciate it! 

And sorry about talking you into the 128i... well, sort of. 

I hate to think about how much money I would have in savings/retirement if I didn't have a car thing. Although this is part of why I don't do the HPDE stuff anymore.........I don't want to commit the time and money anymore. And after absolutely getting smoked trading my 135i in, it had a very strange noise even my specialty mechanic couldn't figure out it wasn't worth the risk after all the problems it had already given me.

During the pandemic, I went 12 months sharing a car with my fiance really thinking about what I wanted and knowing whatever I bought was something I needed to keep. So that's when I ordered the '23 BRZ. It arrived about 4.5-5 months after I ordered it. Already had part of the stereo, the suspension, the GR86 Premium ducktail here before the car arrived. 

The BRZ is great, the engine in the 2nd gen is dramatically better than the FA20 in the '15 BRZ I had before. And it's still plenty for the street. 

Related.

My read on it is that you need to hone in on an outlet/reason for the hobby.  

If the reason is to sample cars, then set up a fund to rent a car on Turo for a weekend so you can write about it extensively, and maybe that would scratch that itch.

If the reason is the "Thrill of the hunt," perhaps get a side hustle going where you find THE CAR for someone who doesn't have the time?  Do it on a commission basis, if you find THE CAR, they kick you enough for a Turo weekend in something or they have to loan you the car for a week, something like that?  Market yourself via local facebook marque clubs or other auto groups you're familiar with in the area?  

For example, In my case, I realized that building my car the way I wanted would have resulted in never getting a car done as I decided to have too many kids and logistics is killing my dreams of mad fabrication, especially after I decided to start my own business.   That means that I had to narrow in on what I REALLY wanted out of the car hobby, and I came up with driving on track/racing is the ultimate goal.  

I got a older 94 Spec Miata for track beater status with the rule that I only touch things that won't affect reliability (aero, shocks, springs, sways, brakes, etc.).  I do enjoy a spirited daily driver, so the 2021 Miata RF is to show up at customers sites with, and Chrysler Voyager for kid hauling duty.  The track beater gets basically nothing other than normal maintenance (fluids/bolt checks/etc.), and get driven out of the garage to go to the track and straight back in to be neglected until it's time for more track duty.   It's still on the stock 124 HP, and I'd love more, but I don't really have time for it and it can't hurt itself with only 124 HP.   I use it to instruct on track, which helps with my passion of teaching people, and I started instructing with XX to let me drive real horsepower cars :)    I race other people's cars by buying a seat once or twice a year.

In reply to WonkoTheSane :

That's a really nice balance and great advice.

Tom1200 said:

In reply to WonkoTheSane :

That's a really nice balance and great advice.

Thanks Tom, it works for me but my friends say I'm too boring and logical, so, ya know :)

My buddy would tell me our lives would be much better if we all were just happy and content driving a beige Ford Taurus.  

(Update today with a beige Toyota Camry)

roninsoldier83 said:

In reply to docwyte :

You're probably onto something there. Prior to Covid, I was always busy- I was pretty heavy into CrossFit, hiking 14ers and trained regularly for endurance obstacle courses- the last Tough Mudder my cousin and I ran, we beat the average finish time by an hour. We trained hard regularly and had a blast. Covid hit and I started spending less time in the gym/training (partially because they closed my gym for a while) and more time in the garage.

In the summer of 2020 I had a surgery that really took me out of the game for an extended period of time. Running and jumping became a no-go for a while, so I spent a lot of that energy in the garage. Unfortunately, around February 2022, I sustained a nasty lower back injury- ironically, in the garage. I'm used to pushing through pain, which, in hindsight, was a bad idea. I ended up in physical therapy for over a year. Once my back started feeling better, I started pushing too hard, too fast, leading to some setbacks and during a pretty intense training exercise that I really wasn't conditioned for at the time, I ended up dislocating my shoulder- which put me down for another few months. 

Come to think of it, I've been banged up pretty good these past few years! 

I've been back in the gym for a while now- I'm finally able to do a decent number of box jumps and pull-ups again, but I haven't trained quite like I used to. I still have a few other hobbies- but getting back to training like I used to would probably help quite a bit. As would some other things, like getting more involved at my church and spending more time focusing on my relationship with the Lord. Things that probably matter more than spending all my time blowing through money and turning wrenches! 

This all seems central to the story.  When you lose things you're passionate about, you sometimes fill in the gaps with less healthy or productive activity.

I can relate to the fitness piece.  I was a serious athlete (hockey) when I was younger.  In my 20's I did competitive distance running.  In my 30's I did Crossfit until I screwed up my shoulder and needed surgery.  In my 40's I did OrangeTheory and rec hockey until I had issues with a cardiac arrhythmia and my knees.  Now in my 50's I do hiking and Pilates.  I'm clearly not as passionate about rolling around on a sled in a classroom full of old ladies as I was about winning hockey games, but I do enjoy it and it makes me feel great.  My switch to consulting enabled me to spend a lot more time in the mountains and hiking has become a real passion.  At some point my fitness goals switched from competing and winning things to just being healthy.

It might be worth reassessing your fitness goals and trying some new things.  Unfortunately Father Time is undefeated; you can either roll with it and adapt, or you can direct your energy in less healthy ways.

Same ... except I feel like I never sell anything. My average vehicle ownership right now is probably 10 years.

What I do is side work.

Getting that build fix is a lot easier when its someone else's project and money. Especially when its earning more money for my projects......this might not be a fix, just enablement 

Adding to the "this is a journey theme"

When I raced motorcycle my goal/dream was to become 125cc road racing World Champion.

I quickly discovered I was to old for that to ever become a reality (I didn't start until I was 24)

When I switched to cars my stated goal was who care where we finish. We quickly got our motto of "it's faster than a set of bleachers" we were out there having fun.

After several years I got into competitive mode and got into the D-sports racer. That car started to become work and consequently less and less fun.

I got the Datsun back and reveled in the fun. When I switched to vintage I had fun for years then  got caught up in competitive mode for a season. I quickly figured out that it was starting to ruin the fun.

I went back to fun mode and I'm having a blast. My focus is purely on having a good time. 

In reply to WonkoTheSane :

I like the rent a Turo and write about the car idea a lot, I think that's a great way to get the creative outlet without incurring the costs.

In reply to MadScientistMatt :

I will allow that sometimes the car you want doesn't exist.  I'd love to have an S3 Avant but those were apparently not sold here.  But the A3 Avant was sold here and S3 bits should bolt right up. 

I'd also like a newer Subaru with an automatic but not the CVT since I've seen a few too many of those fail catastrophically, and I got the idea in my head to find a manual trans newer Impreza and swap in a 4EAT.  In theory the engine computer won't care because the 4EAT was a dumb system, not CAN integrated.

But the thing about doing it is that you end up with a car that rides jackstands until you sort it, or you end up spending a lot of money, or both.  And that's if you're not paying someone else to do it.

I've mentioned the LS swap in a 4th gen F body that I did that ended up costing way more than just leaving the keys in the LT1 car, walking away from it, and buying a LS1 car...