I really almost choked on the water I was drinking god hates fabs hahahah
I really almost choked on the water I was drinking god hates fabs hahahah
Jerry wrote: I would think he was against rear-engined cars too. Saying that's just immoral...
Corvair drivers like it in the rear..... I mean... they like to feel the power from behind...
"God Hates Fabs" is tshirt worthy.
Its about time someone stood up for Purist's rights. If we don't stop this now, next we'll have people powering cars with animals, and all sorts of other non automotive-based power. The hedonistic lifestyle of all these so called "fabricators" and their abominations must be stopped.
Gremlin Union signs Accord
SO-CAL RACE SIGNS ACCORD WITH GREMLIN UNION Pact with IBWF Local 455 promises steady supply of inexplicable mechanical failures, untraceable electronic woes.
Bakersfield CA--The International Brotherhood of Wee Folk, a labor group representing "malicious faeries, elves, (hob)goblins, gremlins, and other non-corporeal damage-industry workers," has signed a new contract with 24 Hours of LeMons and Buttonwillow Raceway for the June 29-30 "Button Turrible" event (signups due next week). The agreement ensures that inexplicable failures of Italian electrics, German valvetrains, GM starters, anything French, and many other disaster-based systems will continue.
Regional IBWF spokes-elf Winterblossom Brindlebrix called the new contract "a win-win," claiming it "...guarantees a living wage for the ephemeral sprites who create infuriating, unexpected crapouts for racers" while simultaneously giving management "...a sustainable supply of the mirth and enjoyment resulting from same." The newfound comity should also, promised Brindlebrix, "...create jobs and increase IBWF Local 455 members' quality of afterlife."
In 2012, LeMons/wee-folk relations became strained over the AMC Gremlin, a vehicle excoriated by wee-folk activists as "...an insulting, archaic representation perpetuated by the dominant anti-wee paradigm" but lauded by crapcan enthusiasts as the pinnacle of AMC's aesthetic and engineering achievements.
The first signs of a thaw came in March, when a Hillman Imp was invited to race at Sears Pointless and awarded the coveted IOE Trophy. "LeMons and IBWF have always been friends," said Chief Perp John "Jay" Lamm, "and like all friends we've had our differences. But we depend on their trolls to deliver continual heap-failure excellence, and they depend on our racers to deliver the Renaults and Fieros that keep trolls in business. This Button Turrible Accord heralds a new and lasting partnership." Mr. Lamm's sound system then emitted a shower of sparks, electrocuting two nearby cameramen.
For full So-Cal event details go here; to sign up go here.
Contact: Jay Lamm, Chief Perp 5675-C Horton St, Emeryville CA 94608 510.655.5980 x23 (Jay direct) jay@24hoursoflemons.com
© 2013, DriversDoor Inc, as if anyone cared
why does the goverment always have to get involved
OREGON LOOKING TO CURB LeMONS IMMIGRANTS Out-of-state racers could "steal locals' grid spots" and "impose their soap-based agenda," according to Pacific Northwest activists.
Salem OR--Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala) is the latest national figure backing an Oregon plan to curtail interstate immigration before July 20-21's LeMons Pacific Northworst GP at The Ridge (apps due this Saturday). The proposed law would ban "undocumented racers" (a term the ACLU derides as "...government shorthand for 'yuppie California scum'") from crossing the Oregon border and require all vehicles to display such Pacific Northwest features as gaping rust holes, huge drifts of dog hair, and general patchouli stank.
While Californians are often drawn north by low taxes, cheap real estate, and the promise of incurable, moisture-induced fungal infections, it took the specter of hooptie-towing, non-folk-music-listening LeMons racers to galvanize the legislature toward sealing its border. Additional anti-LeMons-immigration suggestions include irony-sensing surveillance drones, mandatory plaid-flannel racing suits, and a "high-skill" visa program for non-Oregonians who can make readable car numbers or properly wire a kill switch--tasks that have been mastered by few PNW natives.
Opponents of the measures note that LeMons racers bring tens of dollars to Oregon annually and tend to fill grid spots that state residents wouldn't want. "No legal Oregonian would pay good money to drive Pete Peterson's turrible MGB at The Ridge," says Senator Marco Rubio (R-Fla), whose Path to Crapcanship plan "...is not 'hooptie amnesty, but rather a bipartisan solution with strong triggers to prevent criminals, auto journalists, and Spec Miata drivers from accessing tax-funded programs." If the immigration ban passes, civil rights groups have threatened to boycott Oregon's primary exports, i.e. skanky rasta tams and ludicrously overhopped craft beer.
For full PNW details click here. To sign up for the race, click here.
Contact: Jay Lamm, Chief Perp 5675-C Horton St, Emeryville CA 94608 510.655.5980 x23 (Jay direct) jay@24hoursoflemons.com
"soap-based agenda" ... hilarious
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