Clutchman! In the blink of an eye your automatic transmission is is replaced with a smooth shifting manual. Meanwhile LSD boy and rear end girl transform your ride from Fwd to Rwd. (note to self, sidekicks need new names....)
The evil force we must combat, Autotragic man. Along with his minions open diff girl and understeer boy. (You can see where this is going...)
Miata man. Changes your boring ride into a Miata! Sadly, while his intentions are good, Miata man can only say one word as it is the answer to everything. Keep your tow vehicle out of sight.
Sedan man. The evil one that turns every nice car into a 1986 Taurus.
The great Baldini! Reduces those brand new tires to the cords in seconds! Oh wait, we all have that power