Slowest 0-60 vehicle you own

The other day I was doing my quarterly drive the Tioga RV around to get it warmed up and ensure it was happy.  I pulled up to a stop sign in the country   conditions were perfect, flat wide country road for a mile in front of me with no one around.  It was time to let that LS V8 sing.  I wip out the stopwatch app on my Android and I mash the throttle, a furry of noise erupts and the chirp of dual rear tires was most definitely not heard.    9000 lbs of fiberglass, foam, and pressboard leap off the line like a 400lb Non scholarship lineman from a Div 3 Junior College practice squad.   The 1-2 shift comes quickly and then the long pull through 2nd begins.  Nearly 1/2 of 30 seconds pass before the speedometer begins the sweep near 60.  My focus maxed, time slows as the speedometer approaches the target.  55, 56, 57, 57.5 are distinctly observed.  19.49 seconds from V0 the mission is accomplished.   At under 20 seconds this is one Hot RV.

While nearly blacked out under this exciting near .2 G rush I had many distinct thoughts meander through my head.  One of them was this thread.  What is the slowest legit 0-60 vehicle you own?  I don't mean a 50cc scotter or lawnmower that will never get to 60 but for real road vehicles capable of cruising along at 65-70 mph (the RV is eventually comfortable at speeds as high as 75).   I don't have anything slower then the Tioga.   I expect if the VW bus was a runner it would give the Tioga a hard fought race.

That thing is flying compared to my 1980 Mercedes 240d 0-60 happens in around 25 seconds if I'm lucky. I can't really cruise at 75, 62 is the cars happy spot for cruising. 

Slowest thing in the garage currently is SWMBO's Prius with a 0-60 around 10.5 seconds.  Out of the pair with my name on the title, I actually don't know which is slower.  I know the E38 is good for a run to 60 in right around 6 seconds.  I *think* the Jeep is a little faster than that, but I haven't timed it its current form off a decent launch.  

My pretty stock 1966 VW bus did the quarter mile in 18 seconds at OCIR 

My 1964 2cv Citroen, with 425cc of blazing power NEVER got to 60mph even downhill , 

Well, my garage is currently a turbocharged Miata, a street bike, and a ecoboost F150. So the F150, 0-60 in about 6 seconds flat, is probably the slowest. 

My GMT 400 Silverado would be pretty slow, but with 400k miles on it, I'm not going to test it.

My first car, actually my first few cars, were Hillman Imp's.  875cc, 39hp @ 4800rpm. 49lb/ft at 2800rpm.  Both of those where when new, it had probably lost a few precious hp by the time I got them.  Kerb weight around 1,500lb's.  You do the math, that's pushing 40lb's per hp!  0-60 was probably about 20 seconds.  But at the time the hot cars, Escort XR3i etc. had around 100hp and I thought a 10 second 0-60 was a fast car.  My how times have changed.

MGB

Passenger manning the stopwatch

98' Legacy L wagon, auto, 10.8 seconds.

It was a 1985 Dodge Caravan, 2.2 liter 4 cylinder. Bought it not long after they first came out, the original econobox. Was younger, just starting a new job, had two kids and needed reliable transportation. It served the needs at that time. Driving on the interstate if the A/C kicked on it would drop 3 or 4 mph. Barely enough power to keep it from being a safety hazard.

nocones said:

The other day I was doing my quarterly drive the Tioga RV around to get it warmed up and ensure it was happy.  I pulled up to a stop sign in the country   conditions were perfect, flat wide country road for a mile in front of me with no one around.  It was time to let that LS V8 sing.  I wip out the stopwatch app on my Android and I mash the throttle, a furry of noise erupts and the chirp of dual rear tires was most definitely not heard.    9000 lbs of fiberglass, foam, and pressboard leap off the line like a 400lb Non scholarship lineman from a Div 3 Junior College practice squad.   The 1-2 shift comes quickly and then the long pull through 2nd begins.  Nearly 1/2 of 30 seconds pass before the speedometer begins the sweep near 60.  My focus maxed, time slows as the speedometer approaches the target.  55, 56, 57, 57.5 are distinctly observed.  19.49 seconds from V0 the mission is accomplished.   At under 20 seconds this is one Hot RV.

 

While nearly blacked out under this exciting near .2 G rush I had many distinct thoughts meander through my head.  One of them was this thread.  What is the slowest legit 0-60 vehicle you own?  I don't mean a 50cc scotter or lawnmower that will never get to 60 but for real road vehicles capable of cruising along at 65-70 mph (the RV is eventually comfortable at speeds as high as 75).   I don't have anything slower then the Tioga.   I expect if the VW bus was a runner it would give the Tioga a hard fought race.

I think my ‘81 Grand Prix with carbureted 3.8 and ridiculous high geared axle ratio would have beaten you.  Barely.

I think the slowest I’ve ever been in was an original Fiat 500.  The car that put Italy on wheels.  

I’m pretty sure a 14 hp Murray lawn tractor with the pulleys swapped would dust it.  

My Lima powered Mudstain is painfully slow. I'll see if I can time it today. Guessing around 15 seconds or so.

Well, since we sold the Rio, likely the Sierra. Something about 5500lbs, a 290hp 4.8 and 3.23 gears doesnt make it fast. The fastest car I own is likely the Tib. Thats sad. 

Since you said OWN and not have owned, it has to be my '94 Land Cruiser. It is totally stock aside from a set of 285 K02s, and 0-60 is 15+ seconds. Amazingly, I think it is slower than the naturally aspirated 8 valve 900 sedan and 95V4.

Brand new rated at 11.9 to 60 and 19.2 in the quarter. In my hands on modern fuel its 14.2 0-60 and I would image the quater is around 22-23.5 seconds. 

NOHOME said:

MGB

Passenger manning the stopwatch

Nope.  That's the MGB that passed me at great speed when I was in my Imp.  The drive only looked like that as he had to wait for me to catch up.

Broken '99 Saturn SL that's currently down on power. 60mph takes some real effort right now.

My cx-9 in 7.2 seconds. Pretty quick for a big girl.

My winter daily weighs 3000lbs and is factory rated at 190HP and geared to hit 60 at the top of 2nd. That shouldn't make for a terrible 0-60. For some reason, that I(and mechanics) can't figure out, it only revs to 3000rpm. The ole XJ's not exactly quick.

I'm not sure the 0-60 on my race Sonderklasse but it did the quarter in 19.7@67

Geo metro ftw here.

Slowest; foreground.  Fastest; background.

I really dont think it would beat our mazda5 or my expedition to 60..  I have mopeds, but if the answer is never, it likely doesnt count. 

My wife's Mitsubishi Mirage DE (not hers pictured, but the same model)

I know what your thinking -  a slick coupe shape, 92 screaming horsepower, FWD, 5-speed - that steed can probably can do the deed in 9.6 seconds. That's what she was rated at, but the 5-speed simply would not tolerate anything less than a leisurely pull to neutral, followed by a 1 -2 second pause, then a gentle tug into second gear. Trust me, 10 - 11 seconds in a tiny 5-speed coupe seemed like an eternity.

1985 Chevrolet C-30 Dooley.  Engine is an ATK reman.  Trans is a TH400 that is in third at 25 mph regardless of throttle position.  4.11 rear.  I've never clocked it 0-60 or taken it to the strip, but it's painfully slow for something with a 350 in it.  Tops out on the highway around 75 mph.  Obviously tuned for economy and returns 9 mpg on a good day.

I'm guessing 0-60 in about 12 seconds and the quarter in a tick under 20 seconds.

82 Corolla with 0-60 in 15ish seconds.