Talk me down, but really

Im sick

I really want a cheeeeeap Cayenne Turbo. Im seeing rough ones for ~$5k around here. My Boxster was cheap and has been super. I see these with high miles all over so something about them just works. Big, fast, cheap. I love the idea of having a Panzer tank that can gird its loins and mob down a canyon (road or trail). The latest PCA magazine issue had a story about one with all terrains... not helping.

I know Im not the only around here who has felt like this before.

Please tell me its a bad idea. I think my wife is tired of hearing about it. 

Gratuitous photo of a Transsyberia because...just look at it. It haunts my dreams.

Last time I was downtown Toronto these things were as thick as flies on a dead fish. Daughter and I came to the conclusion it was the car given to the Nannies to drive the kids around. Way too common to have any prestige associated with driving the car.

I have the same bug but was thinking of an S instead of the Turbo.  Lifted a bit with some ATs it would be fun.  Really depends on how well they were taken care of if it will be a driveway ornament or not.

NOHOME said:

Last time I was downtown Toronto these things were as thick as flies on a dead fish. Daughter and I came to the conclusion it was the car given to the Nannies to drive the kids around after all the little E36 M3 that broke was too annoying for the owners to put up with any longer.

FTFY.

Couldn't care less about status. The badge is more for me than anyone else. I tend to think most Porsches are that way. There are way too many 911s out there to be interesting or prestigious. You buy it to drive it. Unless its a 2.7 RS or something.

I hear the S has engine problems though I forget what. Supposedly the turbos (aside from cooling hoses) are a little more stout. The V6 is pretty solid too. 

But twin turbos! nom nom

In reply to spandak :

I'd have a look if the turbos suffer from the same issue as the other V8s, namely the leaky coolant lines in the V of the V8. I thought they were common to both models.

Wheeler Dealers did that repair on their show about the Cayenne - it's a bit involved as (of course) one has to take the intake off to get at the coolant lines.

Way back when I worked at a used car dealer that sold almost primarily high end, high mileage used cars, a Cayenne like you're dreaming of came through and I started dreaming, like you are... until I got in it and drove it. I think unless it's just ridiculously high miles, buying a cheap one is going to mean it's got tons of problems that the last owner couldn't take anymore. 

Since this is a VW Tuareg underneath, why not just start with the VW and add the bits you want, unless it happens to only be about the engine.

Brett_Murphy (Ex-Patrón) said:

Since this is a VW Tuareg underneath, why not just start with the VW and add the bits you want, unless it happens to only be about the engine.

Ironically they share dna but the Cayennes are miles more reliable...  From memory the Touareg had the honor of being the most expensive vehicle to own cradle to grave.

I have shared this desire for a turbo Cayenne.  If you spend a bit more, very nice low mileage models can be had in the mid 20's for newish trucks.  I had my eye on one for the 84FSP family cruiser.

My sister knows nothing about cars and bought a Cayenne Sport with high miles and an aftermarket exhaust on it. The sound it makes is just stupid, I love it so much. She has not had any issues over the past few years. I realise that this is not helping. 

If you expect me to say anything more than "go for it, life is short", you are asking the wrong person.  Buy it, thrash it, get it out of your system.  If it's that bad of a decision, sell it after you make it.

I looked at a S a couple of months ago for $3200. It had more warning lights on the dash than a run away nuclear plant and more broken crap than a 90s GM. 

I bought a boat instead. I'm certain it was a more financially sound decision. 

I seem to recall that 2009 is the start of reliability, but I can't remember the reasoning for that.

Everyday Driver has one that seems to have them happy and that has been pretty reliable.

Tyler Hoover, who has failure integrated into his brand as the "dumbest automotive channel on YouTube" seemed to have success, such as he does:

To be fair, he also bought one recently with an engine that locked up shortly after he took possession, but it was bought for $300.

Toyman01 (Moderately Supportive Dude) said:

I looked at a S a couple of months ago for $3200. It had more warning lights on the dash than a run away nuclear plant and more broken crap than a 90s GM. 

I bought a boat instead. I'm certain it was a more financially sound decision. 

Why not both?

The later ones (11-17) tend to eat transfer boxes. The early (04-07) V8's had the plastic coolant lines in the valley that failed. Most of these cars have long sense been updated to the aluminum pipes by now.  Ignition coils are a common fail. Center carrier bearing on the main prop shaft is a common issue too. Parts are expensive if you buy genuine stuff. They do seem to hold together if cared for however. Turbo S models have a lot of parts specific to them $$$.

Jesus.  NO!  The early Cayenne Turbo's have issues with turbos going bad and cylinder wall scoring.  It's not unusual for them to eat 1 quart of oil every 500 miles, that's when you know one of those two problems is happening and it's going to cost a metric ton of money to fix.

They also have issues with the torque converter seal leaking, which means dropping the trans to replace a $35 seal.  Control arms go bad, expensive to fix.  Motor mounts go bad, have to remove the motor to replace them.  The rear hatch has 4 gas struts that go bad.  Drop the headliner to replace them.  Coolant pipes and T's are plastic and break catastrophically.  Coolant overflow reservoir breaks catastrophically.

These were 6 figures new, maintaining them doesn't change that just because they're stupid cheap now.  They're stupid cheap now for a reason.

I ran my 06 Cayenne Turbo S for about 30k miles, traded it in when it started to eat 1 qt of oil every 500 miles.  It had 140k miles on it.

In reply to docwyte :

Sounds like a typical VW AG 

spandak said:

Im sick

I really want a cheeeeeap Cayenne Turbo. 

No such thing.

It's a $50k truck.  You might buy in for $15k, but it will demand the rest of the money sooner or later.

spandak said:

 

I hear the S has engine problems though I forget what. Supposedly the turbos (aside from cooling hoses) are a little more stout. The V6 is pretty solid too. 

The "V6" is the VR6.  A local Porsche specialist HATED working on "V6" Cayennes because they would reliably eat timing chains at 60k, because the salesdroid at the Porsche dealership promised them that they only needed oil changes every 20k or so.  Then it was HIS task to explain reality to them, and look like the bad guy telling them that they need an expensive engine-out repair in a German Trailblazer.

What I find MOST amusing about this chassis, other than how Ross-Tech works with Touaregs and Q7s but NOT the Cayenne, you need Porsche specific scan tools for Cayennes, is that the staggered engine mount placement is a legacy thing dating back to how Audi 5000s had the radiator next to the engine in like 1979, so the left side engine mount was set back near the bellhousing.  The Audi V8 was designed in the early 90s to live in a slightly-updated 5000, and the Q7 (and I think Touareg) use an Audi V8, so the chassis was designed for the pre-existing mount arrangement.

...I find automotive etymology to be interesting

In reply to Pete. (l33t FS) :

The oil change intervals seemed to come back and bite P cars in the posterior on multiple cars. My 996 also was supposed to have 15k oil change intervals, which necessitated a strip down to the crank cradle at 120k or something like that because pretty much all the chain guides had taken a dirt nap by then.

I'm well aware of their needs and I've watched all of those videos. Hoovies I just saw today actually. Still want. I do my own work, own another car and I have a fantastic hookup for parts, albeit not OE quality. 
Somehow none of that scares me. Except the cylinder wall scoring. That's not ideal. The oil change intervals on the Pcars of the era is hilarious. Idk what those silly Germans were thinking selling those cars in NA with those intervals. 
Just for my own understanding... cylinder wall scoring is because of stuck piston rings due to lack of maintenance right? Couldn't that be loosened up with a little ATF soak and a good thrashing?

edit: it's worth mentioning that in this fantasy of mine I would have no intention of making it perfect. I would drive it like I hated it and the gas in it. I expect it wouldn't last long but it sounds like a lot of fun

Plastic cooling system parts aren't that scary.  The lifespan of them is finite, so just replace them before that time comes.  Yes, it's extra maintenance, but you're unlikely to have an unexpected failure.  Plenty of BMW owners have lived with that concern for years.  

Having been a custodian of a Cayenne "Spyder Superleggera"

They're kinda? neat when they work.... but they can be an absolute nightmare...

 

In reply to spacecadet (Forum Supporter) :

Wow... that is something

Maybe I could combine my love of the Bergspyder with a Cayenne...

Also my first car was a 200k mile E36. Plastic cooling systems do not scare me lol

I've had my 05 twin turbo for 2 years now. I got mine for 6500. I love it but I'm also in the camp of drive it like it is and just enjoy it. Mine had 160k when I bought it. It has needed a blower motor(bad when I got it) and vacuum leak on the brake booster. The head liner is sagging, the rear hatch struts are weak, and it just started a miss fire so I need to change the spark plugs. But I figure I'll get to it when I get to it. Mine does leak oil, dripping in the drive way, not sure where its coming from. I put about 5k miles a year on it and only do 1 oil change a year with good quality synthetic oil. It uses about 2 quarts between oil changes. For how it drives, how nice the interior is, and how much it can tow it is hard to beat. I just changed the tires and went with M/T tires and love the look. I say do it. At sub 10k buy in whats the worst that can happen. Buy it and run the piss out of it.