Teen Locator.. HELP

Hello all,

We want to ensure that our beginner teen driver is just going from A to B. Our deal was that for the next 3-6 months, he goes from school, work, gym. I'm looking to add a locator on my (son's) '92 400E. I don't know if any of the OBD plug-in vehicle ones will fit. This is our option instead of installing an app on his S3 phone that he can disable whenever he wants to go exploring.

Thoughts out there?

Thanks.

Isn't this sort of the definition of helicopter parenting???

Why do you want to stifle exploration?

Just google 'GPS vehicle locator'.

doc_speeder wrote: Isn't this sort of the definition of helicopter parenting???

I would have been hugely depressed as a teenager if my parents distrusted me so much that they tracked my every movement. They gave me respect enough to trust me so I gave them respect enough to follow the rules.

Is there a suspicion that said teenager is drinking or on drugs? If you strangle their freedom while they are still living with you, just imagine how seriously they will rebel when they get to college (seen it a thousand times).

I asked this same question a couple years ago. Got some interesting responses. The ones that stuck out stated something like this:

"Has he ever given you a reason to not trust him? If not, then trust him."

That's what I ended up doing, and my twin boys are now 19 and have still not given me any reason not to trust them.

SlickDizzy wrote:

doc_speeder wrote: Isn't this sort of the definition of helicopter parenting???

I would have been hugely depressed as a teenager if my parents distrusted me so much that they tracked my every movement. They gave me respect enough to trust me so I gave them respect enough to follow the rules. Is there a suspicion that said teenager is drinking or on drugs? If you strangle their freedom while they are still living with you, just imagine how seriously they will rebel when they get to college (seen it a thousand times).

He takes every opportunity to "shock" us by telling is that he has a punch-card to the local smoke-shop, he always mentions that he hangs out with a guy that sells "drugs", he runs out of gas pretty quickly, (only drives 4-5 miles a day). Sleeps till 2PM if you let him. Only goes to school for 2-3 hours a day, and comes home at 1:00 then sleeps till it's time to go to work. Never is hungry. etc..

We have plenty of other reasons NOT TO. It's been an on-going battle. We thought by giving him a little more independence, he'd turn the corner and start getting it together.

I guess he's the normal teen.. right?

Agreed with the above. Tell him the consequences of going off-course. Then, when he does, follow through with those consequences.

If the deviation is small enough that you don't find out about it, it's probably small enough that it's OK he gets away with it. If it is a real problem, you'll see evidence of it, and you can punish appropriately.

In my experience, it's always the girls whose overprotective fathers nailed their bedroom windows shut who wind up becoming sluts...

Wups. Just read your post above. Sounds like you are dealing with more issues and this setup IS the consequence. In that case, I understand completely.

Don't pay for his gas......nor repairs to the vehicle.

Worked on me after awhile.

Define normal. Sounds like he is trying to get attention. Not saying you don't give him attention. Just saying that would be my guess.

I craved it to and still do. Not from my parents, though...

Here. Googled GPS locators.

https://www.google.com/search?q=vehicle+GPS+locater&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a#q=vehicle+GPS+locator&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&safe=off&tbm=shop

LoJack? Onstar?

N Sperlo wrote: Define normal. Sounds like he is trying to get attention. Not saying you don't give him attention. Just saying that would be my guess.

That's what I was thinking. He's doing these things for...some reason. I think the driving is just a way for him to access them. I'm the type that wants to get to the root of the problem, and not bandaid a gunshot wound. Any clue as to why he's doing this? Might supercede the need for a GPS. Though really, any Lojack will do what you ask. if all you're looking for is a locator.

http://www.apartmentfinder.com/

http://www.easyroommate.com/

If he's going to the smoke shop then he must be over 18, which means he can either follow the rules of your household or he can leave.

I'm with mndsm, but if you're looking for an answer to the OP question, I don't think Lojack woud be the answer. Its a proximity device used in tandum with another device by police. You want to know where your son is.

Well, a simple solution is an android tracking app... and if at any time it is turned off, just constitute that as "off course". you either know where he is, or he loses the privilege of driving.

Your is that it is a '92. OBD ones won't work, and even if they did... it is easy to unplug, and say "it fell out".

I bet anything you could install, I could disable. and if I could, then so could he.

He had a pretty bad break-up with his girl in May, after that, he's not been the same.

Thanks for being my counselors..

R..

Kids are like springs. You CAN hold them tight for a long time. But eventually you will tire (or they move out) and when that happens that spring will jettison off in any and every direction. At that point you will have no hopes of controlling, or even finding that spring again.
If you gradually loosen that spring as they grow and mature, you have a much better chance of the spring sitting happily beside you.

All that being said, I have kids that are years from reaching the pedals, let alone the teenage years.

SCARR wrote: Well, a simple solution is an android tracking app... and if at any time it is turned off, just constitute that as "off course". you either know where he is, or he loses the privilege of driving. Your is that it is a '92. OBD ones won't work, and even if they did... it is easy to unplug, and say "it fell out". I bet anything you could install, I could disable. and if I could, then so could he.

This is an excellent point. Especially if he knows about it. I ran with the less than savory characters in HS (they weren't stuck up shiny happy people, and while I never did what they did... I had no problems with it) and they were SHOCKINGLY good at circumventing limitations. Those dudes knew how stuff worked. They actually remind me of a lot of us- do what we do because we want to and we learned it on our own type of thing.

M3Loco wrote: He had a pretty bad break-up with his girl in May, after that, he's not been the same. Thanks for being my counselors.. R..

Ahhhh that old gem. I remember those days. All I really wanted then was A- some space and B- someone just to chill with that wouldn't bring up that whole mess. Takes a long time to get over in some cases. I wouldn't be surprised if the sketchy characters were filling the void for him.

yeah, at that age, that is about the most traumatic thing that can happen ... 10 yrs from now he'll look back and shrug ...but now

M3Loco wrote: He takes every opportunity to "shock" us by telling is that he has a punch-card to the local smoke-shop, he always mentions that he hangs out with a guy that sells "drugs", he runs out of gas pretty quickly, (only drives 4-5 miles a day). Sleeps till 2PM if you let him. Only goes to school for 2-3 hours a day, and comes home at 1:00 then sleeps till it's time to go to work. Never is hungry. etc.. We have plenty of other reasons NOT TO. It's been an on-going battle. We thought by giving him a little more independence, he'd turn the corner and start getting it together. I guess he's the normal teen.. right?

Ah this thread makes a lot more sense now. But, to me he sounds very much like a suburban white boy wannabe-gangsta looking for attention. If he was really into that stuff he would be putting in a lot of effort to hide it from you. He could have gone goth or emo but this is the "GIVE ME ATTENTION MOM & DAD" trend he settled on.

So if you have no reason to believe he's really on drugs or hanging out with dealers, maybe you should call his bluff. If you put a tracking beacon on his car, you're 1) giving into the call for attention and 2) encouraging him to ride in other people's cars where he's in less control of the situation. Just something to consider.

Yeah, I am with the "install an app. If the app is off, then youre considered Off Course" crowd. When I was a bit rebellious as a youth, the 'rents just removed the keys from my pocket. If I wanted to go somewhere, I either arranged a ride, or they would take me there...when it was convinient.

Mom said: Whats that? You have to be at work at 3pm on a saturday? Well, Im going to the store a block from there this morning at 11am. If you want a ride from me, be ready to leave at quarter till 11. I know you dont have to be there till 3, but Im not going to be around then, so be ready at quarter till.

Bitches...

I am of the mind that everyone needs a therapist. I have been wanting to see one. Would he have a problem with that?

As I've heard therapists put it, there are many layers to people as there are onions. You have to peel them away to get to the root of the issue. There are probably little things all piled up and need to be gotten out there, which is a job for someone that has no relation to the family such as a therapist.

I wouldn't be against keeping an eye on him, though.

He's 18? Without knowing much about the situation, I'd tell him that he can straigten up and fly right (and you'll be tracking it with the tracker), or he can go join the Army/Air Force/Navy/Marines/Coast Guard.

But that didn't answer your question, did it? I'd do what my dad did with my brothers and I--we didn't really get in too much trouble, but when our grades were slipping or we did get caught drinking, he took the keys away. Simple as that.

Checkout this review site. I sent one of friends there when she want to track her son.

http://gps-tracker-review.toptenreviews.com/

I think she ended up getting the Spark Nano. I'll check tosee how she likes it.