Tesla Truck: It’s Got Angles

This morning’s big news: The Tesla Cybertruck has been revealed and, well, it’s something to discuss. Angles. So many angles.

Zero to 60 in less than 3 seconds!

And it's bulletproof. Kinda.

We’ve been talking about this one since the summer, but it’s never too late to…

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Does it have real door handles, or will it trap you and burn you to death?

Dr. Hess said:

Does it have real door handles, or will it trap you and burn you to death?

Door handles would interfere with the aesthetics and increase aerodynamic drag.  The vehicle's AI will use a facial recognition algorithm and then decide whether or not it's in the mood to let you in and go for a drive. 

Edit:  Oh, you mean to get out! 

Like the guy who roasted to death in his Corvette one hot Texas day? Kinda important to know where those manual releases are.

That thing looks like it was designed by someone who just learned to use their solid modeling software 10 minutes ago.

Dr. Hess said:

Does it have real door handles, or will it trap you and burn you to death?

once again Hess goes right for it.   The electric door handles on these things scare the hell out of me.

I'm going to go with no. 

I've seen LEGO with more curves. Jesus Christ. 

It looks like it got stolen off the studio lot that brought you Total Recall, but well after that one was released and that after a long financial slide is currently attempting to survive on the bottom end Z grade crap that the SyFy channel puts out exclusively on the 3 AM timeslot.

I think it was inspired by the low-poly vehicles of GeneRally, the freeware top-down racing game from the 2000s.

SPECTRE 3D design aesthetic aside, I'm struggling to understand what about this constitutes a "truck".

Dr. Hess said:

Does it have real door handles, or will it trap you and burn you to death?

Looks like you can just break the bulletproof glass to get out.

Trucks need upright windshields for better visibility. Something even trucks from other brands have pretty much done away with too...

The trophy truck photoshopped Tesla looked pretty cool though.

In reply to ebonyandivory :

in their defense doing the same thing to any other manufacturer's car windows it would have gone straight through. so tougher then your average window

I like it! Just lower it a few inches...

Hell's angles, maybe.

Hasbro said:

I like it! Just lower it a few inches...

 

Those wheels.

ShinnyGroove said:

That thing looks like it was designed by someone who just learned to use their solid modeling software 10 minutes ago.

This

Horrific. I think my Nintendo 64 had vehicles with better lines, and it ran at the teensiest screen resolution. 

I'm so over Tesla and their fanbois. Ready for the Rivian pickup and SUV, and the EV F-150.

Checks calendar....surprised to see it is not April 1st.

Is that really the design?

Confused.

edizzle89 said:

In reply to ebonyandivory :

in their defense doing the same thing to any other manufacturer's car windows it would have gone straight through. so tougher then your average window

I personally have no use for ridiculously strong glass in my truck. Not sure what the draw would be for a daily driver truck.

ebonyandivory said:

edizzle89 said:

In reply to ebonyandivory :

in their defense doing the same thing to any other manufacturer's car windows it would have gone straight through. so tougher then your average window

I personally have no use for ridiculously strong glass in my truck. Not sure what the draw would be for a daily driver truck.

Because when people see you in it you are going to be stoned to death.

D2W said:

ebonyandivory said:

edizzle89 said:

In reply to ebonyandivory :

in their defense doing the same thing to any other manufacturer's car windows it would have gone straight through. so tougher then your average window

I personally have no use for ridiculously strong glass in my truck. Not sure what the draw would be for a daily driver truck.

Because when people see you in it you are going to be stoned to death.

Do More Of What Makes You Happy

Being stoned might make this thing more appealing...

Put a turret on that thing and you’ve got something right out of Mad Max. 

I like it. Definitely unique.

I'd still preferr a Bollinger

, but if the Tesla comes in under 40k, It would be cool.