I'll start.
You know that you messed up when you have to use your mom's car to jumpstart your loaner hooptie van which has a strong enough alternator to jump your $550 Panther so you can get it onto the flat-ish part of the driveway in case of parking brake failure. The past 40 minutes have been interesting.
I had to drag my project truck out of the way of the garage with my project truck so I could get my project truck into the garage to take the axle apart.
When a car has a flat and you go through the key ring to determine which keys on you are to a car that is mobile so you don't have to deal with said flat. I never drove that car again.
When you decide to sell your most reliable car because it's boring, and you have no time to fix little problems, but start going to craigslist to look for sub 1000 neon to build into an acr clone as replacement.
Had an alternator belt throw in my Datsun 280zx on the side of the freeway at 2am. What to do? Call my little brother with a same year 280zx to come loan me a belt, so I can move the car to my house, and then we BOTH walk back to his 280zx and replace the belt to get him home from the freeway. Only in a Datsun family. Excuse me; "famiry"
Sigh. Pick up the keys to this week's test car, only to find my hooptie is dead - right at the front doors of the manufacturer. Can't open the door, because someone backed into it recently, and I stupidly locked the passenger door, which was replaced by the previous owner, and I don't have a key.
Had to therefore climb in through the hatch in order to pop the hood, then use my press car to jump start. And of course, the car company's president just happened to come by while I was doing this.
When you forget which car has the GOOD battery in it!
Bruce
When you periodically have to go through all your keys (which i failed at here) to figure out what goes to cars you don't even own anymore.
To Lesley: If the president's background was in engineering, or even sales, I would hope he/she stopped to help, or at least offered. Finance or marketing, not so much; focus groups and spreadsheets wouldn't have improved your day.
When you have to move the engineless Camaro out of the way, so you can open the garage door and move stacks of body panels out of the way, so you can pull out the TR8 thats stripped down awaiting paint sitting under the lift, so that you can lower the lift and take the Explorer 8.8 rear end out from under the TR8 thats on the lift, so that you can put the 8.8 in a third different TR8 that just received the Camaro's LS3 engine and tranny. Oh look, I just found the logbook for the TR8 race car I have been looking for for the past year sitting on the lift under a brand new socket set I never opened. Typical day around here. Its 7 AM on a Saturday and I'm wondering if its too early to start grinding and welding a tranny crossmember????
From last December.
You see something posted in the $2015 classified by one of you enablers. "An engineless go-kart? I have an engine, let's do this E36 M3!" So you borrow you sisters' trailer and your mothers' truck and set off across two states before dawn in freezing temperatures because as a condition of borrowing said items you have to stop at a dirt farm in western Indiana to wrestle a pair of Emu while the one legged man and his octogenarian friend watch.
All to achieve the loss of a garage spot as you come to realize that simply sitting a bike motor in a frame is not the same as installing a bike motor in a frame, much less fabricating the suspension pieces required to make the thing actually work. 
When you realize your vacation time is almost done and you only got a third of the work done you intended. So at 630am on a Saturday, you go out to start sanding and priming your car after not sleeping all night thinking about it...
Sold a Volvo wagon and bought a 996 once I learned my 1st was on the way. Just bought a zx6 to ride while I do extensive work on my 916. The zx6 needed body work so I bought another zx6 for parts, then I came across a zx6 engine.... I also own 4 tractors and only have a 1/2 acre.
Wait, who here can actually walk through their garage?
SIL calling from his car: "Hey, umm, the car feels funny and I think I see smoke coming from the right rear wheel."
Me: "You got the brakes done at that shop yesterday, didn't you..." (this was NOT a question)
SIL: "Umm, yeah..."
Me: "The one I told you not to go to, and to bring it to me instead?"
SIL: "Maybe. Ahhh, the smoke is getting worse..."
Me: "Better head straight over my house, then." 'When is that boy gonna berkleying quit berkleying around with their berkleying car maintenence and do what I tell him to do, when I berkleying tell him to do it!!!'
SIL pulls onto my driveway, just as the right rear brake bursts into flame (no really, it happened).
While looking for a replacement for my crashed race car I could not find any decent choices nearby so expanded my search to outside of New England. After a week or so found one in Maryland, started negotiating while on a trip for work. Sounded good but could get anyone to look at it for a week or so. Got home from my trip and a good candidate popped up in CT, bought it, thinking the MD car might fall through. The next weekend had the MD car was inspected and was a really good deal, bought it. While waiting for the MD to arrive, another rare model, of my car showed up on c-list and bought that as well. SWMBO was not amused when I brought that home. Almost finished building the MD car and getting ready to sell the others.
My mother once asked me how many cars I had at the time. I told her I only had 6 cars only to realize three hours later I had 7.
Yes, I can walk through my garage.
I drove to Chicago to pick up a car about a block from Wrigly Stadium. It came as a package with a trailer and 2nd rolling shell, but living in the city the seller had these at a store & lock in Michigan. So we leave his house, drive through downtown Chicago(there was major traffic from two separate events that day & he said it was the quicker route), picked up the trailer off the first exit in MI, then retraced our steps back through the city to pick up the car...and after all that had to drive *back south through/around the city to get home. After all that I had to make another trip up to MI to pick up the rolling chassis and remaining parts, but at least I was able to avoid the city.
Come to think of it, the spare engine(needed rebuilt) was in a friend's garage last I knew. That was back in '03, I should probably ask if he still has it...
When the number of vehicles owned outnumbers the amount of drivers living in the home by 3 to 1, and the newest of those vehicles is at least 15 years old.
Or, when you spend more on the used lawnmower (depreciation is your friend) than you've ever spent buying one of those 15+ year old vehicles.
When you buy a house with a 1000sqft garage fully realizing that its' not big enough, and another "work shop" will have to be built.
Trackmouse wrote: Had an alternator belt throw in my Datsun 280zx on the side of the freeway at 2am. What to do? Call my little brother with a same year 280zx to come loan me a belt, so I can move the car to my house, and then we BOTH walk back to his 280zx and replace the belt to get him home from the freeway. Only in a Datsun family. Excuse me; "famiry"
I think this is the winner. Why didn't he pull the belt and walk to your ZX? Then only one guy had to walk.
Suit & tie headed to dinner but a few minutes early, you see a tail fin sticking out from the corner of a barn ...
"OK, OK, but make it fast!"
Dad stopped calling when i took cars on a "test run" on my 2 mile loop that took longer than normal and would just drive the loop with his chain looking for me. We both became very good at towing and being towed. Actually my whole family is pretty grassroots so theres way too many stories to list
When someone asks you how many cars you have and you once fid it in your head, then you moved to counting on you fingers then to writing it down and ypu still don't get it right. And yes, not only are my cars in more than one location, they are in more than one state.
Are you an addict if you have 9 project cars, 6 project motorcycles and 2 project tractors and you're still surfing Craigslist? Is it considered a project if it runs, if not, I only have 3 project cars, 3 project bikes and 2 project tractors.
Having to stop and count which cars you have, and what state they're in. (Im down to four, but i still have them in three states. Mn, florida, and indiana)
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