We have 7 vehicles here at the moment. If anyone offered us any manner of rolling stock with a pricetag of zero, we'd say thanks very much and have 8, just like that. The total would probably drop back down sooner rather than later, but the zero-cost car would not necessarily be the one out of the fleet...
tb wrote: It just stings a little to be in this position where the right choice is not the fun choice... I try to keep cars the one area of my life where I do not let logic interfere with emotion!
You'll be a father soon, unless you're very wealthy get used to this.
In reply to rcutclif:
I will check out the fitment issue but I think it will be ok. I have actually tried the fit in the e30 coupe and it works but is tight. I cannot see it being a problem in the civic but you make a good point to confirm it.
Luckily, my wife is only 5'2" on a good day and has no problem sitting in seating arraignments that I could not even think about.
Also, it is only really her that they pull the mind games crap with. They both respect and kinda fear me but above all I insist they recognize me as the head of my household and absolute in that authority (even though my wife and I are totally equal partners in everything between us; they are just slightly misogynistic and stuck in the mother country still). SWMBO just needs to listen to me and remove herself emotionally from these interactions.
In reply to Jay_W:
Another area where I am not the typical forum creature... keeping 2 cars in the city borders on excessive when just 1 is a luxury. I might even find space to mothball the e30 for a time until I can get my new life straightened out. I have done 2 in urban areas before, but have also done 0 too...
My thoughts are that keeping 2 around will allow us some independence when needed; we often spend time apart doing our own thing to get some needed physical/mental relaxation. The bimmer is a long term keeper, the appliance will probably not last too long in the grand scheme of things.
The_Jed wrote:tb wrote: It just stings a little to be in this position where the right choice is not the fun choice... I try to keep cars the one area of my life where I do not let logic interfere with emotion!You'll be a father soon, unless you're very wealthy get used to this.
That is why is stings a bit; I am wealthy. 
The problem with that is for me getting to wealthy took discipline and a failure to stay rigorous could move me right back to a more bleak situation. I always tell people that having money does not mean that you can just spend it all, then you would not have much left anymore.
We are savers and do not just indulge ourselves frivolously too often (just occasionally) so I like constant reminders from people who are more in touch with their finances than I am. I easily admit that I do not handle any of it really (besides spending!), haven't even seen a bill in years since it is not my department and when the receipt prints my balance at the atm I do not know if it is good or bad... just a number to me. SWMBO does all that stuff better than I do, but cars fall squarely into my responsibility to handle.
Do the in-laws know this? Why are they even offering you a free car if you're "wealthy". In that case, berkeley it, buy and drive whatever the hell it is that you want.
OK, I was going to go against the hive and say don't accept it. I've seen too many families where an older generation is generous in housing, cars, money or whatever, and the result is always the same. While they may have made the original gift out of generosity it ends up with having unforeseen strings attached. I’ve seen people agonizing about going on vacation rather than going to stay at the parents holiday home. Not because they can’t' afford the vacation, but because of the implied disapproval of spending money to go on vacation instead of the free vacation because they had provided some other form of direct or indirect monetary support. It's not just vacation issues. I've seen family tensions over where to live, what schools to go to, where to spend holidays all because of the invisible strings of gifts.
Also no soul sucking car is worth it. We refused to ever go down the minivan large SUV rabbit hole. My wife once wanted (and got) the worst soul sucking vehicle ever invented a Toyota Highlander. Never never again. It wasn't just soul sucking, it was an unreliable crappy POS. We will make sacrifices (from a practicality, not financial POV) to have cars we like and enjoy. When this started I assumed you meant a Corolla, but a Civic doesn't seem to be the ultimate soul sucker.
The clincher though was A) you appear to be retired in your 30's so you have the money to say berkeley it to the rest of the family if you want/need to and B) you only drive $4k miles a year. For that sort of mileage you can stomach anything, even a toyota if you have too, that’s our families monthly, not annual total. So after that I say take it, use it and pass it on. With a new born you’re not going to have much time for playing with cars unless you are ignoring family time so live with it and pass it forward once the baby is a couple of years old and you can pull the E30 out of storage.
Enjoy the baby, I'm going to be a grandpa in approx. 30 days’ time so I get to live it all again, but on my terms
In reply to Lof8:
I do not think that they have a real knowledge of any specific financial information. We tend not to discuss such things in detail; only because it is our own business and it can be uncomfortable for some people to get down to actual dick measuring versus just bench racing.
Whatever the hell I want just isn't on the table at this moment. Several issues dictate a generally unremarkable sedan of some typical sort would be the best objective solution. I do not think that there is anything that fits our needs that I also feel passionate enough about to make much difference. 
I am thinking that the next car, in about 2-3 years should be whatever the hell I want and am already doing some preliminary thinking along those lines. 
The only polite and plausible out you have IMO would be to say that while you really appreciate the generous offer, it just isn't the type of car you have in mind and you want something bigger and safer for your wife to drive. This probably puts you into another soul sucking boring car that you hate even more like an SUV, but at least it untangles you from the purse strings and there is no resentment or disapproval from the MIL if/when you sell the gifted car in a year or two anyway.
I can't imagine that selling the car they gave you will go over well unless it happens to be for something most normal people believe would be newer, bigger, safer, etc. Car people demand to get some kind of enjoyment out of driving, but the rest of the world really doesn't and won't make car buying an emotional decision unless they attribute the car to being some kind of status symbol.
The other thing to consider is that you'll be hauling around a small child in it and your kid is bound to trash it to a certain extent. Would you rather do that to a 6 yr old civic you don't give a E36 M3 about or a BMW or Audi?
I would either except it (which personally I would) or politely decline and say thank them for the offer but say that you are looking for something bigger and safer like a (insert SUV name here).
In reply to Adrian_Thompson:
I am taking this advice to heart and will definitely tread carefully. Even though we are both 35 and happily married it has been tough for her family to let go and accept her as an adult. Happily, they do accept that I am totally independent and they cannot apply undue influence on me so we just take the position that I make decisions. She cannot remove her emotional baggage from the situation so I shoulder the responsibility and remover her from the equation. I will definitely spend some time thinking this over from all angles and go into it with a clear understanding of how it might play out.
I am happy to hear that most of the hive has positive things to say about the civic in general. They never even enter my thoughts at all and I instinctively distrust fan boys so all of the good insights are appreciated. I have driven enough cars that I know I will not hate it and can deal with it just fine for the limited use that it gets. I expect to be driving more than ever in the future but still nowhere near the average persons mileage.
My current thoughts are that I will take it as long as it is clearly given as a nice gift without strings. My batna is huge so I have that going for me. If it starts to suck away my soul I can pass it along either in trade or re-gift it. I might take a shine to it and make it mine to keep around for a while... anything is possible...
In reply to Contradiction:
You touch upon an important line of thought, thanks. The civic is not something that we would ever pick ourselves but it really does suit our needs pretty well. SWMBO absolutely will not have anything to do with a SUV or minivan; she is too petite to be comfortable in them and finds them hard to manuever/park in a tight city environment.
We would both prefer something slightly bigger and as safe as possible, but this would be a major upgrade in those areas for us. Anything too much bigger is not right for us and this would fall into the realm of safe enough, I think...
I never really considered the abuse of the car that will occur but that was just an over site by me. You expect a certain amount of exterior damage with city living but I always took meticulous care of the interiors. The abuse and wear caused by a child and all of the related stuff inside a car is probably better to happen to a car that I do not have an emotional attachment to nor a large investment of resources in.
Not a whole lot of logical reasons to decline, I suppose.
We still have fugly vertical blinds and an overly massive kitchen table because they were given to us and we just keep them rather than listening to "you got rid of our _____??? They were like-new" even though they're ugly and dated.
It's a sucky position I be in: to hold back making a move to save sensitive family members' feelings, lemme tell ya!
I suggest that your priorities will change somewhat with a first baby, especially regarding safety. Research the safety ratings. For me, with all the idiots texting and driving, side impact protection became very important.
Also, size matters. Verify fitment of the rear-facing car seat; it's amazing how much room they require. Also, test fit the stroller in the trunk. Is there any room left? Ironically, the smaller the baby the more and bigger stuff they require.
These considerations might make the decision easier. Or, give you cover for what you really prefer to do.
I will second the opinion that a "free gift" can strain relationships. If you're not concerned about the money, suggest someone else in the family who needs it more.
David
Civics are popular with young car culture people because they're well built and simple. They're also good, reliable "a to b" cars.
You don't need it and you don't want it. I'd suggest MIL gift it to somebody who does, and say thanks for thinking of you.
Datsun1500 wrote: Does it really take 3 pages of debate about this? Do I really care if you are "wealthy" or not? Nope. There's an easy way to handle this.... Just say "no thanks, it's not what I am looking for" and move on. No need to debate if a free $9,000 car will make or break you.
Obviously it does, you seem to be able to count so...
E36 M3, we might even need 4, 5 perhaps 6; might even beat the berkeleying hot link thread.
It is actually a surprisingly complicated issue and I am learning a lot, at least from some people.
In reply to ebonyandivory:
I have never been that guy at all. We do not have a single thing that we do not need and will not keep something around that we do not like, so I am not concerned with having that conversation.
Feelings matter if the people matter, but if there are strings attached I will just walk.
DWNSHFT wrote: Also, size matters. Verify fitment of the rear-facing car seat; it's amazing how much room they require. Also, test fit the stroller in the trunk. Is there any room left? Ironically, the smaller the baby the more and bigger stuff they require.
I am quickly learning this lesson! Everything for a newborn is bigger that anything for a toddler; it is surprising and strange.
I will do my diligence but they are incredibly popular with the average parent. I know my current car would work and this one is bigger so... not really an issue.
In reply to OHSCrifle:
I think what I am learning here is that I do want it. I am not hearing any reason to hate on a civic which is both surprising and not really unexpected at the same time. I think there is a lot being said about the value of an a to b car that I might have previously written off.
MIL is not just looking to unload it, she wants to be generous and give us a nice gift. Maybe I have been lucky so far in life but I have never really had a family relationship strained over an inanimate object with no real value or sentiment attached to it. I have given away three cars to family over the years and regret two of them but I am long since over it.
ebonyandivory wrote: It's a sucky position I be in: to hold back making a move to save sensitive family members' feelings, lemme tell ya!
I am going to put some thought into wrapping my head around this as I have never really come up against it yet. I can imagine it would suck and I guess there are a few items like that scattered over the years but they are just not big issues. We are not a super close and loving group as an entire extended family but I cannot see anyone holding a long term grudge like you describe. They come from a culture of honor and obedience to elders and might possibly be more offended if I declined without a good reason; a minor concern of mine...
Strings or no strings would be the deciding factor for me. If this is genuinely offered with no expectation, take it and make use of it. Trade off with the Mrs. on operating the "fun car" and the alleged soul-sucker, although I suspect it won't be as bad as you expect. Civics are generally decent handling cars. The fact that you really don't care that much about a vehicle can actually be a bit of a positive with young kids. Pretty soon they'll be depositing Cheerios and fruit snacks in every possible orifice in the car, slopping muddy boots on the seat and spilling apple juice on absolutely everything. You might as well have them do it to a car you don't care much about.
If, on the other hand, there are strings attached, politely refuse or perhap suggest a family member who could make better use of it. But then you may need to buy a car that you hate.
I will say this about kids and car interiors. They destroy them like it is their sole mission in life. There is nothing you can do about it. My seven year old still spills stuff all over it. I used to be the guy that washed and detailed his cars twice a week. After the kid? Lucky to get cleaned once a month. It's a sad reality.
Ugh, this is depressing to think about. I cannot imagine and am not prepared for something that can create that kind of a mess in my car!
It sounds almost like having a disposable car with no reason to love it is the only option when dealing with putting children in it. How does anyone manage to keep nice things at all? I realized that they E36 M3 their pants and barfed sometimes but it is going to be a tough slog if I cannot trust it in my car or around other nice stuff. I think I need a valium or two just thinking about it.
Thanks!
KyAllroad wrote: Take the car. Embrace the joy of FREE for a couple of years while you put away cash for a car you want more. After an appropriate amount of time makes noises about trading in the car for something even safer for your new child. You're ahead of the curve, MIL is happy, problem solved.
Don't get too depressed. The "no food in the car" rule still holds in my Miata. It just isn't practical in the family truckster.
My first car was bought from my Aunt and 6 months later I was still vacuuming out popcorn and other crud from it! I'm still single without kids but I figure when the day comes I'm just going to take a "set it on fire and forget about it" approach to whether or not I should even care about the inside of the car. Hopefully I will always have one personal "fun car" for myself and I'll plan on having a dedicated kid hauler for the wife. If that has to be a big lumbering SUV or a minivan then so be it.
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