Why my prized German souvenirs come from hardware stores

I just landed in Frankfurt for another Nürburgring 24 adventure–more updates to come–so where’s the first place I go to take in some local German flavor before heading to the track?

After the obligatory stop at Vogelburg, the medieval-themed parrot refuge just outside Frankf…

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I'm not saying I'm considering a trip to Germany just so I can visit a hardware store, but I'm definitely going to visit one (or several) hardware stores if I ever find myself in Germany again.

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

I'm intrigued by the work shorts. How do the sizes run on them? Is the cm to inches conversion accurate to your actual waist size?

Now I'm kicking 16 year old me for not visiting hardware stores when I was in Germany. 

Edit: Actually, I still went to the BMW Museum in Munich, so I guess 16 year old me gets a pass. 

Canadian here, so metric tapes are not that exciting. But the shorts. Hmm....

Actual safety sandals... I need a set.

I used to love going into the German and Norwegian PXs when I was working out of a NATO base instead of a US FOB. You could buy the most random stuff there.

Another thing to add to the list of things I'd like to see in Germany. 

I know Europeans tend to look down us filthy Americans for not knowing multiple languages and such, is it fairly easy to get around Germany without being able to read/writer/understand the language? 

How do these work shorts compare to the long Dickes I’m currently wearing? (Because I am a fan of these....)

For some reason I had expectations of lumber, neatly stacked, sorted by grain direction and separate piles for quarter sawn and rift sawn.

Those little fence posts are surprisingly disorganised too.

These shorts from Sweden have more pockets and straps than anyone would need , 

Nice and heavy duty fabric too,

Blåkläder | High-Quality Workwear (blaklader.com)

I like these folding wooden metric rulers, common in Europe and you can find them on Amazon

Woody (Forum Supportum) said:

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

I'm intrigued by the work shorts. How do the sizes run on them? Is the cm to inches conversion accurate to your actual waist size?

Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.

They're a little all over the place because some of the brands are German, some are Swiss, some are Australian, etc. So you basically convert your US inch waist size to the common EU size (which is NOT an inches to CM conversion. EU sizes are numerical but there's no measurement equivalent) and it's going to be close, then you kind of eyeball it from there. 

David S. Wallens said:

How do these work shorts compare to the long Dickes I’m currently wearing? (Because I am a fan of these....)

Imagine Dickies designed for NASA. Heavier fabric, more pockets, more reflective panels. Same ethos but more high tech.

californiamilleghia said:

These shorts from Sweden have more pockets and straps than anyone would need , 

Nice and heavy duty fabric too,

Blåkläder | High-Quality Workwear (blaklader.com)

Oh yeah a lot of that stuff over here, too. Definitely more on the premium end of things. If someone shows up to fix your garbage disposal in those, you;re gonna pay a lot, but it'll be fixed AF.

z31maniac said:

Another thing to add to the list of things I'd like to see in Germany. 

I know Europeans tend to look down us filthy Americans for not knowing multiple languages and such, is it fairly easy to get around Germany without being able to read/writer/understand the language? 

It's really not bad at all, especially once you learn to read a few basic things. As for spoken language, unless you grew up speaking German, your high school German class or Duolingo lessons will get you precisely nowhere. English is a MUCH more forgiving language than German, so their broken English will go a lot further than your broken German. 

but in general stuff kind of works the same way, and I find the people really nice and chill, so if you're Americaning something up they're pretty cool abnout helping you out. Ultimately they have stuff to do, too, and they want the problem of you being in their face not knowing what's going on solved as quickly as possible, so they're happy to help smooth things along.

The weirdest part is the little cultural differences. Stuff closes early, and nothing is open on Sunday. And the line between work and regular life seems kind of weird. Like, I've been in restaurants that you're like "Is this place even open? Is this someone's house?" and there's just a guy and you order food and some really good food shows up and eventually you pay but it's a much different experience than the US where everything is highly commodified.

I'm amused at the thought of adult men wearing shorts.

Ooo!  I have to tell ya, I'm down with those vampire stakes.  I could see setting them into the yard upside down at a 45 degree angle just to keep door-to-door solicitors at bay.

I think that was the motivation for one of the fight scenes in Conan the Barbarian shown below.  Yeah, you shoulda left when Conan said he didn't want to hear your message of hope for humanity, or your tree-trimming sale, or house painting services.

I want those stakes.

z31maniac said:

Another thing to add to the list of things I'd like to see in Germany. 

I know Europeans tend to look down us filthy Americans for not knowing multiple languages and such, is it fairly easy to get around Germany without being able to read/writer/understand the language? 

It's very easy. Almost everybody, even in the smaller towns, speaks English. There was only one instance for us, and that was in a small Bavarian town, the one PW's mom is from. We were in a restaurant and the waiter spoke no English. PW does, so it wasn't a problem. I was surprised how quickly I picked up the language, and after only a few weeks was able to read and understand almost every sign. 

Euro uniforms are pretty funky. I've worked with a lot of Europeans installing, and repairing industrial equipment. They really do have the best work clothes.

Make sure while you're there to have a leberkäse on a bun, with onions and lot's of mustard. 

How do the shorts deal with hot slag or fire? I usually try to stay with cotton-based clothes in the shop because they don't melt to the skin. The Lee shorts aren't great because they are 25% nylon and tend to melt. It really sucks when hot slang sticks it to your thigh. 

I'd love to find a flexible short or pant that doesn't melt. 

In reply to Toyman! :

I find that some Duluth brand shorts and pants work well.  Usually advertised as "Firehose" pants or shorts.  Durable canvas or heavy denim, gusseted crotch, decent amount of pockets depending on style.  Quite often on sale.

Appleseed said:

I'm amused at the thought of adult men wearing shorts.

I would amuse the heck out of you then 

Toyman! said:

How do the shorts deal with hot slag or fire? I usually try to stay with cotton-based clothes in the shop because they don't melt to the skin. The Lee shorts aren't great because they are 25% nylon and tend to melt. It really sucks when hot slang sticks it to your thigh. 

I'd love to find a flexible short or pant that doesn't melt. 

I think there's a lot of HD nylon in them, but I also see a lot of emergency crews wearing them, or garments made from what looks like identical material, so I dunno. 

Appleseed said:

I'm amused at the thought of adult men wearing shorts.

It would look like the store was full of giant toddlers. 

This is the country that gave us lederhosen.

I like to pick up signs for my garage at Bauhaus - it makes my German cars feel at home.  Especially the "Rauchen Verboten" sign.

I really don't have a need for a metric tape measure...but now I want one, just as something to hand to an unsuspecting victim when they ask for a tape measure.