Advice welcomed - multiple job offers, how to handle

Hi guys. I have a good job offer in hand - and a second company is very interested.  

Company A is located in a large Midwestern city, but still within a comfortable day’s drive from my family. The job will entail a *lot of work. I expected an offer, but not until late this week. The offer came last Friday and it is generous - way more than I used to make and well above my target salary. I will work on lots of projects and do somewhat less managing of the actual work. Benefits and comp plan are fantastic. I have some reservations about work/life balance.  Education opportunities for my other half are good if we make this move. 

Company B is located in a large western city. Too far from family to drive. The culture of B may be a better fit for me- not as project driven, but still a large volume of work to get done. I accepted a remote interview before the offer came from A, as a back up in case I wasn’t selected for the position there. The cost of living in this city is significantly higher than in A’s city. B’s offer, should they make one, will almost certainly come in lower than A, though they are interested in me to the point they would expand the role and increase the responsibilities. They know about A and want to bring me out for an in-person interview anyway.  Work-life balance at B may not be any better than at A.  Edit: education opportunities are going to be a problem in B’s city, I have learned.  A serious demerit here.

I am very attracted to the culture of B and the quality of life in their location is probably higher. However, I may not be able to afford to live in their location at what they can offer me, even if they stretch the role. If I took a hypothetical offer from B, it would irreparably damage my relationship with A.  A’s formal offer package hasn’t arrived but I expect it any time. My gut says to stay with A even though the location of B is more appealing.  Any thoughts?

Advancement in each? 

Go A.  More opportunity and money.  Face it - working by full time means working full time.  My slow day is 10 hours up to 12 hours with 3-4 on Saturday.  

Take it while they are handing it out - you can rest in the grave.  

A. 

Advancement is available in both. B is a bigger company internationally but smaller in the US. A is smaller internationally but based in the US. Realistically, more opportunity with A, their US staff in my department is 4x the size of B. 

What I'm hearing is B is a more attractive job, the rest of the factors (location, pay, etc) favor A.  May seem like a stupid question, but how old are you?  If you're within 5-10 years of retiring, take the money.  Even if it means more hours, you can do anything for 5 to 10 and it might help set you up for retirement.  If you're farther out than that, take the job you think you're going to like better.  

Probably not even worth $.02, so that's my $.015

Are you working to live or living to work?

I did the whole move to the west coast for lifestyle and job thing.   I’m now in the Midwest.  

I'd hate to pick B and a few years later be looking for an opportunity for more money, career advancement, etc. and not have A as an option.  I'd probably try to politely bow out of the process with B ASAP with no hard feelings if possible and try A for a few years. Especially if it also provided better opportunities for my SO.

In reply to secretariata :

And not be afraid to tell B that the only reason you're pursuing another option is purely financial. It's amazing how that can sometimes change things. 

Assuming the offer comes in from A as expected, take it.  What I take away from your first post is that the culture at B MAY be a better fit, but the location at A IS a comfortable drive from family and the location at B is not.  I can't help feeling that that could turn out to be really important over time.  The education opportunities deficit at B is just the icing on the cake.  Go with A.

I appreciate all your responses, truly.  Usually I trust my own judgment but things are complicated and stressful right now because of a family situation.  My dad had lung cancer surgery three weeks ago.  The prognosis was excellent.  Last Saturday while I was still in town helping out he had a terrible stroke, the kind you don’t recover from. We moved him to palliative care yesterday. It’s been heartbreaking going from thinking things weren’t as bad as the doctors said to realizing his body lived but he is already gone and we are watching the lights turn off in the great, ruined building of a once superb mind.

Realistically, the attention from B is appealing but it has to be A. I need to do the best I can right now financially.  A year and a half of un-/underemployment has hit my savings and they need to be built back up. The school situation is also a deal-breaker because the whole reason to go back to this field of work is to best take care of the household expenses so my other half can concentrate on school and quit trying to pull off a full time job plus classes.   

Mostly, I’m thankful as can be to be offered a good job making a great living, even with hard work and long hours.  I can do this. 

Sounds like the only thing that B has going for it is it might be a better "fit". But it's less money, in a more expensive place, further from family, and with less opportunity for your other half. Sounds like an easy choice to me.

Sorry to hear about your dad.  I hope you and he find peace soon.  

And A is the no-brainer at the moment. 

This need to be with your family really seems to tip the balance toward A, and it already seemed headed that way to start with. Sorry to hear about your father.

Just checked out  your age. I can't come up with any reason to go with B. 

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

Get Paid!   Go with A.

A, based on what you have posted. Leave B on the table until you get and accept a formal offer from A and have an agreed upon start date. Then tell B the news. It will feel a bit less than honest and most of us like to be forthcoming, but from my experience, it is best to keep one's cards close to one's chest and be careful to not count chickens before they hatch. I realize that was two over used cliches in a single sentence, but I think they are applicable here.

Sorry to hear the news about your dad. Try to enjoy the excitement of starting a new job, and think about the benefits to letting SWMBO go to school fulll time while being close-ish to family. Good luck!

Reread your own original post. The answer is clear.

My first thought was "play them against each other to escalate income offers," but after reading about the jobs A seems to be so clearly superior that you should just forget about B.

Take the money.  Many people say money isn't everything, but they are wrong.  Money may not be able to buy you happiness, but at least you can pull up next to it in your yacht.

Seriously, A sounds like the right deal.  Sleep is for the weak.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.  Its hard to focus on things like job when there are big family events happening, and I don't envy your situation.

I don't know the details , but it sounds like you need to be nearer to your family for the moment.  This plus the better $$$ seem to make A the better option, FOR NOW.  My thoughts are (a) wait until you get the official written offer from A, and set a start date, to let B know you are out of their process , for family reasons, and (b) after a year or two pass, if you truly think B could have something to offer, get back in touch with them.

I moved farther from family because I had debt and the youth to enjoy an outdoor oriented area. My family was/is in relatively good shape, aside from my grandparents.

Had I stayed, I would've likely either become caretakers to my grandparents for 3-8 years, or they would've moved to Florida anyway. I don't really want to live in Florida, at least not at this point in my life. My grandparents need more than just time with remaining family, they need social interaction and involvement. When I left them behind (I previously lived 15 minutes from them), they were in relatively good shape, but fighting constantly, and at that time at least they would've been able to visit me. Not really the case any longer, so I'll probably need to visit them (at least my grandpa) twice a year. It's a bummer, but they certainly didn't want me to stay for them. 

My parents/her parents on the other hand...I think as they get older we'll get pulled back east for them. Once they are gone, we'll be back out west...or maybe even expat. 

I wouldn't blame you for wanting to grow your career while still staying near family. Once your family is gone you should live where you want to, but perhaps not yet.

EDIT: what's the vacation, sick/family sick, bereavement time for each like? For example, Option A wouldn't be worth it if they didn't give much vacation, or wouldn't let you go home to take care or be with your dying father. If Option B offered more flexibility and understanding with those issues, it could be better deal.

Benefits and perks with B are at least good. With A they are amazeballs. B wants me to fly out for an in-person. With things as they are, I just can’t go right now and I wouldn’t think of asking them to wait on things to resolve here, just not the right thing to do. I have two more days before I need to commit to the trip or not.  I plan to thank them sincerely for the opportunity to interview but with regret withdraw from further consideration because of the family circumstance.  

The deal with A is the formal offer has been extended, contingent on a background check and references. I’m not hiding a bankruptcy, arrest  or criminal conviction so everything should go fine. The details of the relo package are pending but the support is reputedly significant. If all goes to plan I start June 4th. 

Congrats. Very sorry to hear about your father.