Anyone enjoying watching elderly parents driving?

Dad is 80 and Mom is 82. Both healthy and both cleared to drive. But I watched them work together to get the car out of my driveway the other night and they scare the E36 M3 out of me. Dad can't drive in the dark and Mom can't back up. So they both got in and Dad backed out and then they switched for the drive home. But Dad forgot to put the car in park and they were both halfway out when he took his foot off the brake and it started rolling. No harm done but still....

Both have perfect driving records by the way unlike me.

"enjoying" is one word for it. Not the word I'd use.

We took the keys away from my great aunt forcibly while she was in the hospital. Had tried to have the talk with her multiple times, she wasn’t hearing it. 87 year old woman who was a Captain in the Public Health Service, the first woman ever in her position, and the first person who wasn’t an MD ever in her position—she was the boss, and not about to listen to us tell her she couldn’t drive. Well, it became an issue of public safety, so we took them. (She since passed at age 89 this past August).

Grandpa grumbled, but listened and gave up the car. Still grumbles, but that is ok. He’s 90 and in “ok” health for a 90 year old. His driving was taking a turn for the worst the past few years, lack of attention and lack of eyesight.

The issue that we’re dealing with now is SWMBO’s mother. She’s only 56 or 57, but she has MS. She puts the car in park at a stoplight. When she doesn’t, about 3 times during a red the car will bounce forward for a second while she lets her foot off the brake inadvertently. And we haven’t had the talk yet, because how do you do it with someone who is depressed but won’t admit that, and clinging onto every bit of independence she can as a terrible disease strips control from her? I rode in the car with her 1-2 weeks ago. Interstate is fine, although she needs to get out of the left lane (entrance ramp entered from left). But in the city? Scary. Not to mention she is aware of her physical restraints, so she is super cautious and will leave 1.5 car lengths between the next vehicle at a stop light. I will not ride with her again.

My mother is gone, but in retrospect, we should have taken the keys from her a few years before we finally did. There were some unexplained damage incidents to her car, and I watched her trying to back out of my sister's driveway after a family dinner - then let her drive home after watching the process. I still feel a little guilt over that one.

My uncle was killed by an elderly driver who had no business being on the road.

Since Dad passed away last November I've been trying to get a read on how well my Mom drives. She only drives during the day and stays on the back roads she grew up on (no highways). I've been thinking about setting her up on Uber. I kind of wish this was local: http://www.fastcoexist.com/3035804/this-ride-sharing-service-is-like-uber-for-the-elderly

Luckily with autonomous cars this soon won't be a problem anymore. And current semi-autonomous cars can help those who shouldn't be driving be less destructive.

Dad is blind in one eye and poorly sighted in the other and his doctor just passed him to renew his license. He's 87. Mom can't turn around to back up and can't back up using the mirrors, so she basically backs up "by feel". Neither can see particularly well at night. I've already told them both that I'll be doing the driving when I come to visit. When Mom got slightly upset and asked me why, I responded "Because you both scare the crap outta me." Then Dad answers with" That's OK. She scares me ,too." I dearly love them both and hope they hang around for a decade or more yet, but keep your head up if you're driving on Vancouver Island.

In reply to DeadSkunk:

Based on how most of the folks from BC drive....
that's absolutely terrifying.

having a father with ALS who is unwilling to give up the keys is one of the most interesting things I get to deal with. He rarely will drive with anyone else in the car, but doesn't listen when you point out the hundreds of other people on the road that he crosses paths with on the rare occasion that he ventures out on a drive. I'm angry about it and tell him that it's irresponsible, yet admire his unwillingness to give some things up.

My stepdad is 80 and drives quite well. He's alert, has situational awareness and has made it a point to wear glasses since he knows his vision uncorrected is not good.

My mom is the same age, but her driving scares the living E36 M3 out of me. She has a Nissan Maxima, I have to admit she can put it in the garage well but past that no sir. She had cataract surgery a while back and complains that her eyesight is not good, yet she refuses to wear glasses. (Due to the cataract surgery she is not a good candidate for lasik etc.) She will wear sunglasses but what good is that? It does not correct her vision at all.

The docs say that I should catch a ride under certain circumstances, such as if I have a 7 hour chemo because those kick me square in the goolies for a day or two, she insists on driving me. The last time, we were going down I26 at 80 MPH (I leaned over and checked), she was running over the rumble strips to the right then the reflectors to the left. It took me a moment to realize this is how she knows she is in the lane, by the sound.

She gave me a ride one morning to get an MRI. At the hospital the parking garage entrance is directly below a huge crosswalk that's roughly the size of my house. I was giving directions and said 'turn right under the green crosswalk', she said 'what crosswalk?'. Huh? She could not see the damn thing. I know she wants to help and I appreciate it, I just don't want us to die in a huge flaming car crash. I voiced my concerns and asked her to PLEASE get glasses to no avail. So, no glasses = I drive myself if possible, get a ride with my stepdad or my brother (who is a crappy driver but that's a different story altogether). So now I'm the ungrateful jerk of a son.

SWMBO's great aunt refuses to give up her keys despite poor eyesight, poor reflexes and idling into my soon to be in laws garage door (left it in drive and her foot slipped off the brake apparently). The door had to be replaced because it wouldn't open anymore. To top it off she wouldn't even admit to having done it.

Nobody saw this?

http://time.com/3712190/elderly-man-hits-9-cars-parking-lot/

Won't be cited? If I hit nine cars in a parking lot, I'd be facing prison on assault charges and disqualification from driviing for years!

Not enjoying it, that's for sure.

Dad's 89, still drives daily. At least he knows his limitations.

Mom's 82, and can't see the painted lines on the road at night when driving only 5 mph. She refuses to stop- gonna get ugly soon.

My wife's folks give new meaning to fear.

Sine_Qua_Non wrote: Nobody saw this? http://time.com/3712190/elderly-man-hits-9-cars-parking-lot/

I don't even want to think about that. There have been quite a few instances over the years of elderly people doing things like this. One of the worst: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Monica_Farmers_Market_crash

I swear it's safer to be on the racetrack. The speeds may be high but at least everybody is paying attention and we all share the desire to get to the end in one piece.

My Grandfather is 93 and still drives today. He's never been in a accident in his entire life. Knock on wood. He does pretty well and is probably a better driver than the teens on the road today being distracted by friends, cellphones, food, ETC.

DeadSkunk wrote: keep your head up if you're driving on Vancouver Island.

In my limited experience out there, that goes without saying.

As someone who lives in the snowbird zone (Phoenix, AZ) working in outside sales driving around all day.

Lets just start with elderly driving tales vol 1. ...

Cliff notes, they are never out early or late. All day they are shuffling about, 4 lane changes on an instant, stopping (and even backing up) on freeways and thankfully, never flash you.

One word: NO.

I refuse to ride with my dad or Father-in-law. I drive.