Best/worst recipes

You like no bake cookies? So do I. I’ve made countless batches over the stove but THIS ONE takes only 5 minutes and you make them in a microwave. I’ve been doing stovetop for years and there’s no difference here. They’re amazing. 

2 C sugar

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 C cocoa

1/3 C milk

mix it all up 

1 stick butter, sliced

Microwave for 3 minutes. Use an oversized bowl because this boils up pretty good  

take out and stir

2 1/2 more minutes (this is where you’ll need to adjust based on power of microwave, this time is for 1k, 500w difference is maybe 10 sec diff either way)

stir in some vanilla (1/2 tbsp??) and a huge glob of peanut butter

then 2 C or so quick oats. 

So this is the worse recipe because it’s so easy to make. It is the reason my wife and I have instituted sweets only on the weekends. I was making a batch like every other night. 

if you wanna split it half, do 2 minutes in microwave then 2 again. You’ll need to experiment to get it right of course. 

How about the rest of you? Any kickbutt goto recipes?

For 2 servings:

3-4 slices thick bacon, in small-ish pieces

2 cloves garlic, lightly crushed

2 eggs, beaten

1 handful+ of grated pecorino romano

black pepper, lots

bucatini or linguini

Crisp bacon in a skillet, starting from a cold pan, with the garlic and boil noodles to your desired chewiness. (Timing is the tricky part, you want the bacon just getting crispy when the noodles are done)  When the noodles are done turn off the bacon, remove the garlic, and add the noodles directly to the bacon pan with black pepper to taste and agitate. The starchy pasta water and bacon fat will emulsify. When incorporated, move bacon noodles to a bowl (with sufficient space for mixing) and pour in the beaten eggs and grated cheese. Stir until the mixture comes together and forms a creamy bacony sauce. Serve immediately with a twist of black pepper and a sprinkle of cheese on top. Do not plan on leftovers, they will not work out well.

-If you really really like garlic and don't like the other flavors, you could sub the crushed garlic for pressed garlic.

-Fresh black pepper is pretty much a must here

-Spring for the "good" eggs, if you don't already. The flavor of eggs from chickens that eat more than feed will go a long way in this dish.

Reviving this one since McDonalds et al aren't doing holiday flavor shakes this year:

Ingredients:

1 generic egg nog ( or AE if you're lucky)

1 vanilla milk shake from Arby's

Mix 1:4 or 1:3

Enjoy while driving around looking at Christmas lights

If you really want to make your non-AE store brand egg nog pop, do this:

Take one quart pedestrian egg nog -- this was perfected with Kroger brand, but works great for QD, too

(These are all referenced by 1/8 tsp measuring spoons since that's the smallest unit I have)

SALT: 1/8 tsp + .5 of 1/8 tsp

NUTMEG: 2/8 tsp (I know, I know)

VANILLA: 3/8 tsp

Next level up: try it warm

My current eggnog go-to, in the order I fill the mug: rum, fill to about half with the eggnog, then top up with chocolate milk. Spices optional. 

This one is more of a food hack. A few years back I developed a peanut allergy so I know how good the real deal is. And I've tried the alternatives. And there is no substitute. 
BUT! You can make almond butter tolerable!

Take 1 jar of Costco almond butter (27 oz) - ingredients are solely roasted almonds

2 tsp salt

1/4 cup sugar

2 tbsp honey (optional)

Another food hack, this time Chinese food!

I love General Tso's chicken but haven't yet found a store bottled sauce that taste right. BUT here's what I have found:

Mix Aldi's Bermans brand General Tso sauce (it's the one with the green label) 50/50 with the widely available House of Tsang brand General Tso's sauce (Walmart and Kroger, at least)

Add a little ginger and crushed red pepper to it and it's the best I've had from a store!

1 ritz cracker

smear almond/peanut butter on it

5 white chocolate morsels

1 ritz cracker

7 white chocolate morsels

half an oreo

One of the best fast desserts EVER:

heat up a glass of chocolate milk in the microwave

drop in a big spoonful of vanilla ice cream

AMAZING

Simple snack, Ritz crackers with cheese, in the toaster oven. 

This was a childhood staple for me, my wife had never heard of such a "ridiculous" thing before. 

Recipe hack:  When making brownies from a mix, finely grate a normal sized dark chocolate bar and dump it in with the rest of the ingredients.  Makes the brownies richer tasting, and less likely to be dry.  Doesn't need to be fancy stuff, either.  My go to is Pillsbury fudge chocolate brownies, and a Hershey special dark bar.