Changing my Last Name

This week is the week! Miles and I are getting married on Friday. 

Learn me name changes, paperwork, and general wedding chaos. Anything you wish you'd done on your wedding day? Favorite photos that are a must for our shot list?

Mrs. preach would speak to the rest of your Qs, but don't put those cardboard cameras around...we got a ton of "fella" pics from my club.

Congrats!!!

Congrats on the upcoming marriage! My wife kept her name so don't have anything for advice there. But I do for the wedding day: make sure you eat and have time to enjoy your day. Everyone there is going to have a problem that only you can solve. Get your best man/maid of honor to intercept the requests and handle them. That was my number one duty after the ceremony as my oldest friend's best man, and he reciprocated as mine. 

Katie Suddard said:

Learn me name changes, paperwork, 

 Avoid as much of this as possible :)

Katie Suddard said:

Anything you wish you'd done on your wedding day?

I wish we spent less $ and did about 5-10 trips abroad instead. 

My wife kept her name as well, so nothing to add. Having someone to run interference on the day is super helpful. Also, if you need to hold on to things like your guest book, make someone responsible for it. We did not .

Have fun and congratulations!!

^That's advice I give everyone. Many spend enough money on a wedding that would be better spent as a downpayment on a house. When I married my ex, we timed it around an industry trip she was already taking to Vegas. Parents only, got married at The Little White Wedding Chapel (not by Elvis unfortunately). My dad took us out to an incredibly nice dinner afterward. 

When we got back we threw a big reception at her parents house on 5 acres. Smoked food, my dad brought his small PA to DJ, got some kegs, a few friends camped. 

Didn't spend much money at all. I've never really understood the point of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding. 

Both change your names to Mr  and Mrs Miata.......

Just because that's always a good answer :)

Congrats ........

I will say that being 4 days away, the wedding is already planned and paid for. Telling us not to have it is kinda useless at this point, soooooooo yeah. 

Putting someone in charge of keepsakes is a great idea! I hadn't thought of that. 

thatsnowinnebago said:

 make sure you eat and have time to enjoy your day. Everyone there is going to have a problem that only you can solve. Get your best man/maid of honor to intercept the requests and handle them. 

This x100.  If you're having a "big" wedding, then this is absolutely key.  My first marriage was a relatively decent size, about 120 people.  My ex and I made it an absolute point to make sure we got to eat the food her father paid for and enjoy the day that was supposed to be ours.  We made sure we could participate in dances, etc...and talked to as many people as we could.  At the same time, we hoped/believed that if we didn't get to speak to every last person one on one they would understand.  We had the time of our lives.  That marriage lasted 20+ years.

I got married again almost one year ago (Oct 30th).  This time it was just family, a total of 16 people.  That was a very different deal.  

As for name change, best advice I can give you is check with the local county courthouse and make sure you've got all the paperwork stuff right.  At least here in GA, they were able to guide my new bride through everything.

Congrats!!!!!!!

Remember the most important part of the day has nothing to do with anything other than ending up married.  Weather, lost veils, drunken uncles, twisted ankles, none of those things matter.

No hints on the name change, although it can't be that hard.  Happens every day.

I will emphasize- eat. I'd have something right before you leave for the venue. Let others worry about the details, and let the inevitable drama go. Smile and enjoy one of the best and happiest days you will have. Good luck to you- my wedding was so fun and happy for me and the wife. 
 

You've probably already decided to, but I don't know that changing your name is that important in modern times.  Almost seems like more hassle than it's worth!

It's a very special day, enjoy the heck out of it.  Congratulations!

And folks, the money you spend isn't just for you, it's for the family and friends that you invite to your wedding.  You're looking to make sure they enjoy themselves as well.  A nice party with good eats is not gonna be cheap.

Loved our wedding but might have done a destination wedding for us and ~10 wedding party members for the same money.  We could have then done a nice party for the big crowd at our place or a parents.

Useful stuff people told us ahead of time.

-Empower that great relative/family friend tl run the event so you aren't stressing over things

-Many things won't go to plan, it doesn't generally matter, you are likely the only two that will know it went wrong

-Both Bride and Groom should have a helper whose job it is to keep them fed and watered.  You literally won't have the time to take care of yourself and have fun as you are generally shaking hands and kissing babies.

-Don't over extend for the festivities.  Unless you summer in the Hamptons, there are no Joneses worth impressing.

-Have fun!!!

Make a list.

Every bank account, everything tied to a bank account (PayPal, eBay, credit cards, auto pay, etc), drivers license, social security, work, etc.

Then have your mom and or husband go over the list to make sure you didn't miss anything. Depends on who knows you better, my mom knows all the stuff, Dana's mom barely remembers her birthday after adopting her AT BIRTH 33 years ago. 

At least in PA, the drivers license was easier to change by just waiting until renewal time. Social security CAN be done online, sometimes. I have 2 friends that work there and it's very hit and miss.

Your signed marriage license can usually get things pushed through, such as banks. We got some checks for our wedding, in my nickname and my wife's new last name. Went to the back the morning after and got her put on a joint account, which had the added benefit of "something official with the new last name" which you need to change it in other places.

For as long as we've been doing marriages and stuff, still we're pretty stone age when it comes to changing everything after. 

Probably too late to give you any ideas for the actual wedding, but we cheated with a pig roast at the house, hired a bartender and a shuttle driver, and just had everyone come over and park at the truck stop up the street. We did a "Quaker" wedding, legality depends on state blah blah blah, but as I'm an ordained minister to begin with, it was super easy to just get everyone to shut up and watch while we signed the paper. Highly recommend, unfortunately we caused another wedding when they saw how painless ours was. 

Don't do as my friend.  He showed up and gave each groomsman a bottle of whiskey.  His wife said we could drink as long as he could stand at the alter.  He was standing, with a lot of help.

If you decide not to change your name, it's a good idea to have a copy of the marriage certificate handy (e.g. phone or copy).   

Makes it easier to explain why you are driving around some random persons car. 

OK, they live at the same address, but it's still a good idea.

Plenty of good advice here. In our case it's been 27 years, so I don't know that I have much to add, other than my heartfelt wish that you be as happy as we have.

Coming to the Challenge for your honeymoon?

Congratulations!

I agree with the eat, and have someone run interference.  The biggest thing I think I would have changed about ours was at the reception, we'd be eating, dancing, or trying to greet each table, and constantly get interrupted and dragged somewhere for group photos.  Maybe whoever is running interference can help get more of the groups together so most of those sets of photos can be taken all around the same time.

Most importantly, have fun, and remember, the wedding is just the party at the beginning of your marriage, not the marriage itself, so if things go awry, let it slide as much as you can, and be happy to be together!

Stampie said:

Don't do as my friend.  He showed up and gave each groomsman a bottle of whiskey. 

I came from family and friends that partied hard and the bride/groom back in the 80's were sloppy drunk by the end of the evening.  

My bride asked me to go easy and it made for a pleasant evening for us.  

Oh, on the subject of paperwork, on Thursday, make a list of assets you will enter the relationship with and their current value.

Might never need it, but if you get divorced, you'll thank me 

Select a good friend who isn't a bridesmaid or groomsmen and designate them your wine/champagne Wrangler.  Seriously, you set it down for a million pictures and they get snatched up every time. They are also useful problem solvers, interference runners, etc. People who can deal with stuff like a couple breaking up (or hooking up) in the bathroom so you don't have to be distracted by it day of.

I don't remember my wife having much trouble with name change paperwork.

If you have friends or family prone to car pranks, rent a car, preferably on someone else's card. My poor NA Miata got 15 lbs of birdseed scattered in/on it as well as silly string over the top of the car (fun fact, it melts into vinyl) l, and fox urine in the center console. We had to delay leaving for our honeymoon to clean my car (removing seats and center console for scrubbing), and even then, a few weeks later I had to remove the front fenders due to sprouting seeds. They were also growing out the rain rail.

My favorite spots are typically the candid ones, so no help there.

Make sure you have a plan for somebody (NOT you) with a large vehicle to take care of collecting, transporting, and temporarily storing everything not being kept or thrown away by the reception venue. This includes things like centerpieces, cake top for freezing, the pile of gifts, the guest book/picture or whatever you might have for people to sign, etc. 

And know that something completely unexpected will inevitably go wrong and threaten to 'ruin' the day... Which can only truly happen if you let it. Just do your best to hang on and enjoy the ride, as it will be a wild whirlwind of a day.

I will strongly second the - A successful wedding is one where you end up married at the end. Remember, a lot of what living is about is creating stories you can tell later. Very few good stories are told about things going smoothly. 

Dance a lot.  We did, and had a great time at our wedding.  And started a pattern of going dancing when the right bands are coming.

Funny story- somehow, we had ice cream that didn't melt- by the time we got back to our table to eat the cake which had ice cream- it was nearing room temp, but the ice cream was still standing.  That was observed by quite a few guests.

If you are not dancers, focus as much as you possibly can on having fun.  This is a celebration of you and your new husband- so have as much fun as you can celebrating yourselves.

People remember food, drink, music. Oh, and they remember the sloppy drunk. They don't remember the chair covers, or the center pieces, or the shoes the bridesmaids wore. Have fun! Eat! Drink water!