coworker talking E36 M3 behind my back

I would take that straight to the upper management and state that this guy is being a tool. And then talk to his face and say dude, quit being a tool. Or go do a wicked burnout in his driveway.

Did not read the whole thing, but judging from your profile you are 52 years old.

So with that being said, go talk to the guy face to face and tell him to stop or you will talk to HR.

The smoke thing is his problem with the company/his boss and none of your business.

I just read some more of your post, lol.

Regarding the tobacco chewing (I hate it too), its funny how no one seems to like it in your company but no one says anything to him. I would address it with him and if he does not get his E36 M3 together, then I would resource to a higher up. But first talk to the guy.

Move it up the food chain. Unless you have the power to higher and fire. It sounds like there may be more going on in his life than work problems. I had a similar problem between two emploies and it turns out that the "problem" one was recently sepetated from husband #2 while going through some nasty stuff with child suport from husband #1.

Since he has taken it to the next level and publicly gon after you I would go directly to your boss and discuss things.

Slippery wrote: Did not read the whole thing, but judging from your profile you are 52 years old. So with that being said, go talk to the guy face to face and tell him to stop or you will talk to HR.

Of course, it can be hard to find a decent job at that age. (I'm painfully aware of this, myself.) You may want to make sure that whatever technique you use is less-than-confrontational.

Number 2 and 3 and then go for the burn out.

I have been down this road before, if this guy wants to act like a E36 M3 head then he can just go the berkeley away (one way or the other) end story.

What mndsm and Slippery said, plus as always CYA. Make sure your own work is top notch, and that the boss always catches you working. As long as your superiors see you as nothing but an asset and not a trouble maker you should prevail.

I suppose challenging him to a duel is out? Make sure your act is spotless, and ask HR/Bosses if Mr Red Man (or whatever his favorite brand of chew is) is going to be a problem for you and your career.

Can you report him anonymously? That sounds like the most sure-fire way to solve the problem and CYA at the same time. Some may say that's less honorable than discussing the situation with him first, but given his past antics "talk" is highly unlikely to work with him. He's obviously no longer a friend, so at this point it's time to look out for numero uno.

If this won't work, then go to HR/upper management with his behavior issues. The main point would be to make sure you do not bring yourself down to anywhere near his level. Bringing up the tobacco issue now could be viewed as such, so only go that route if you can do so without anyone involved having knowledge it was you.

For somebody talking smack that could damage my job/career - you just made an assault on my living/family. Step one, confront and engage. Give him the opportunity to explain himself to you and gauge how he'll handle it. If crap continues, burn his house down (not literally, but at that point, everything you can to put him out).

Rape is often employed as a tool of repression in the middle east. I know it would shut me the berkeley up.

oldtin wrote: For somebody talking smack that could damage my job/career - you just made an assault on my living/family. Step one, confront and engage. Give him the opportunity to explain himself to you and gauge how he'll handle it. If crap continues, burn his house down (not literally, but at that point, everything you can to put him out).

Exactly.. he made that comment in public, I suggest you find a public venue to ask him what he meant by it. This will keep the shouting down to a minimum and rachet up the chance to embarriss the crap out of him to 11

I'd be absolutely straight with him. Tell him what you heard. Ask him if it is true. Ask him if there is something you have done to offend him. Remind him that you have been very amenable to compromising with him in the past. Tell him that more of this will 1) make him look like a teenaged douche, and 2) get him reported to HR (only if necessary).

Remember, this might be coming from another corner of the (drama queen) workplace.

His reference to do not doing your job is about your being able to work from home. I would have to take it to HR since he did it in the open.

Do you have access to a tray of cheap enchiladas?

Even if you are going to talk to him man to man. Still make the situation known to HR. Tell them you would like to handle it yourself. But at least they will have it on file.

Good point Dr Smooth. you do not need him using this to fuel the fire

Slippery wrote: I just read some more of your post, lol. Regarding the tobacco chewing (I hate it too), its funny how no one seems to like it in your company but no one says anything to him. I would address it with him and if he does not get his E36 M3 together, then I would resource to a higher up. But first talk to the guy.

That's because the majority of companies "say" they encourage reporting misbehavior, etc, but when someone actually does, they are considered the troublemaker. Not the asshat being a douche.

You don't go to work to make friends...if it happens it is icing on the cake. You go to work to make money and pay the bills and maybe, if you are lucky, gain a sense of accomplishment. If this A-hole is jeopardizing your career, you need to put a stop to it ASAP. Why do you care about the feelings of a former friend and someone who is obviously doing everything they can to pull you down? Solve the problem like the boss that you are and your superiors will be impressed, which is more important to your future.

drsmooth wrote: Even if you are going to talk to him man to man. Still make the situation known to HR. Tell them you would like to handle it yourself. But at least they will have it on file.

Sorry about the spelling, and poor grammar. I was getting ready to leave work when I saw this thread.

I had to comment, since HR is what I went to school for. And I have dealt with may situations like this.

That being said, others have suggested doing a burnout in his driveway... That is the most immature thing you could possibly do....

Those who have reached a certain level of maturity realize things like a driveway burnout are a waste of time.

If you are not immature, and trying to piss someone off. you should do doughnuts on the targets front lawn. preferably with an AWD vehicle, or at least RWD.

The worst a driveway burnout will do, is leave black strips on his driveway.

Do some doughnuts on his front lawn.... Now he has torn up grass, leveling and re-seeding to deal with!!!!

EDIT... Also when doing the doughnuts on the lawn, disconnect the exhaust system from the head, and do it at 4AM....

Your the boss act like one. Deal with him before he undermines your position. Get with HR cover yourself. He stated "if that son of a bitch would get off his ass come to work and do his job we would not have these problems" Qualify his complaint, deal with it. Ask him politely what the "problems" are, so he knows he is being dealt with. Surprise them with less telecommuting, again to help repair any tarnished reputation you have with fellow employees. Plow through this, get rid of him..... Grass doughnuts on him if he gets you fired!