Curtis... you just found out your wife is gay.... where are you gonna go?

Kenny_McCormic wrote:

paranoid_android74 wrote: As for destinations, it sounds like Ann Arbor, MI this time of year is right up your alley. It isn't too "big city" but pretty much anything goes here. And the weather is perfect right now. The winters suck though.

People who have seen both tell me Ann Arbor has very Oregon sort of vibe to it, go there first, try it out, flee when the snow hits. Though the SE quarter of MI is pretty mild as MI winter weather goes.

Note the qualifying phrase that allows him to ignore how unpleasant michigan winters are ANYWHERE in the state. I did my time there in college, and haven't seen the need to go back in two decades.

In reply to JoeyM:

Oh please, in the SE corner, it usually only hits negative temps for a week straight, and they close school at only 2 inches of snow! You don't even have lake effect really. Where I grew up it was 2-3 weeks of 0* and 6" of snow to shut down school, or a badass enough icestorm to bring down big limbs over all the roads, or so friggin cold diesel fuel as effectively a solid. We didn't even have plowing on weekends or nights.

I feel for you. I admire you for opening up and seeking advice from the wise and insightful people here.

“Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.”

I've never been to Portland, but would love to visit some day.

Yeah, the winters here aren't as bad as the west side of the state where I grew up, or heaven forbid the UP. Snow isn't bad here, and yeah there's that one week of sub zero. Add to that a February with no sun and that's winter here!

Fall is beautiful though.

Ann Arbor has lots to do that I don't take advantage of. At least three micro breweries, plenty of night life and concerts (like at the Ark). I don't eat seafood, but I'm told we have two great sea food places too.

Curtis if you decide to come this way give me a shout- I'll help you settle in for a bit if I can.

Kenny_McCormic wrote: In reply to JoeyM: Oh please, in the SE corner, it usually only hits negative temps for a week straight, and they close school at only 2 inches of snow! You don't even have lake effect really. Where I grew up it was 2-3 weeks of 0* and 6" of snow to shut down school, or a badass enough icestorm to bring down bug limbs over all the roads, or so friggin cold diesel fuel as effectively a solid. We didn't even have plowing on weekends or nights.

Santa Cruz Ca might work. Sucks to hear about you getting your clock rung. Start listening to Tom Leykis on blowmeuptom.com and get your act back together.

Thanks for all the support folks. I'm just a mess.

Sorry to hear.
On your way to better!

If it were spring and not fall, I would suggest the 3 hour drive and 5 mile ferry ride to South Bass Island and the city of Put-In-Bay, Ohio. Island in Lake Erie.
If you are looking to drop out of the "regular world" and get into a crazy place, few are better - for the summer.
It is called the Key West of the North (but less of a gay vibe.) It is also called Disney Land for alcoholics (which could be a bad thing.) Someone as handy as yourself could do well there.
Bartend or drive drunken bus/van/cab at night. Building, painting, constructing in the early and late season.
Work hard all weekend. During the week, enjoy the relaxed pace. Each bar has its own co-ed softball team made up of employees. They even travel to the other Island to compete against the bars on Kelley's Island and Middle Bass Island. Race hobby cat catamaran sailboats every weds night.
They even hold an Annual Bartender Olympics which strangely is part parade and part skit competition.

Fast paced summer weekends but overall, a slowed paced environment.
A good place for the self-reliant to live (if that is you.)

If you gut it out in The 'burgh for the winter, Put-In-Bay would be a good place to show up in May and leave in Oct.
You wont get rich but it is an alternate existence.

If you are not too familiar with the place this link should take you to videos that will give you the look and feel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/PutInBayDotCom?feature=watch

Winter is tough there and isolated but the annual residents like it that way:
http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/news_archives/Video-Vault-Put-In-Bay-in-the-winter-When-tourists-leave-and-Lake-Erie-freezes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq6OdYzrIGA

I have not seen a dissenting opinion.. Nor to many questioning what you are seeking, so I am just going to throw this out there...

I think actively seeking the LGBT and hippe/party crowd is an awful idea...

Statistically speaking the levels of drug abuse and mental health issues among the types of people you are asking people to help you find are MUCH higher then the general population and it sounds like you have had more than your fill of that in your life... Especially when you are seeking them for a "high party quotient":...

I think you should be hanging closer to the Cleaver family and as far away from the party scene as possible... The party scene could very quickly destroy any decent part of you that is left... No... check that... at this vulnerable stage in your life... It will...

Don't try and convince yourself you have not hit bottom by trying to go deeper...

These people you are seeking will only offer you more of the same pain you are in right now... Or worse!

See a lawyer. She is leaving you... She moved on 10 years ago without any regard for you. Is the house in both your names? Do you have kids? On the move note, I like Austin TX.

Sorry to hear about that whole situation. Can't even imagine what that must feel like.

I think Portland is a good spot. I've never been, but I think I would like it more than say Seattle. And if you already have an RV you should hit Burning Man if you haven't already. It's a place/event I think you would really dig.

One note on the New Orleans Hurricane+RV might be a problem... You can move an RV a lot easier than a house, and you typically have about a weeks notice of it.

Good luck.

Key West?

curtis73 wrote: Thanks for all the support folks. I'm just a mess.

That's why we're here.

First of all, I'm floored. You need to hire your own attorney and go after her or you won't end up with a pot to pee in.

Greenville, SC has a great downtown area. I can't say they are super LBGT friendly, but I don't hear of them being otherwise. Like NC, SC govt isn't.

I have been thinking about this all day long. It brings up some bad memories.

But, this line of thinking is starting to make sense the more I remember. The ex and I shared a home for about 6 months after the divorce, not good for the mental health. Because she will likely change her mind ten times.

Getting away can help you gain some perspective, and allow time for you to heal. The Cleavers' home is a great place to do this. Even after you leave there if you have other family you can stay with that can help too. A brother or sister that is a good influence? I actually moved into my sister's family's basement for about nine months until I had a stable job, etc. It worked out great because they can help you keep your perspective.

You are hurting and will be for a while. It will take time to remember that you are a good person, you didn't do anything wrong, and that you can't make someone love you or stay in a relationship with you.

ronholm wrote: I have not seen a dissenting opinion.. Nor to many questioning what you are seeking, so I am just going to throw this out there... I think actively seeking the LGBT and hippe/party crowd is an awful idea... Statistically speaking the levels of drug abuse and mental health issues among the types of people you are asking people to help you find are MUCH higher then the general population and it sounds like you have had more than your fill of that in your life... Especially when you are seeking them for a "high party quotient":... I think you should be hanging closer to the Cleaver family and as far away from the party scene as possible... The party scene could very quickly destroy any decent part of you that is left... No... check that... at this vulnerable stage in your life... It will... Don't try and convince yourself you have not hit bottom by trying to go deeper... These people you are seeking will only offer you more of the same pain you are in right now... Or worse!

Wow. Curtis, I hadn't read this yesterday. I'm glad you are out and talking with us. I wish I had more to suggest to you. I wish you the best in the process.

As you're moving around, you WILL pass through St Louis and I DO expect a call from you, Sir.

You've got spirit and you'll be fine, I know that.

Next spring roll into Lansing, Mi. Seriously.

Northampton mass is pretty chill, very progressive vibe here, with lots of culture, music venues, big art scene, polite people, safe environment regardless of preference (day or night, no alley you wouldnt walk down). It sounds like what you might be looking for. Cold in winter, but worth checking out come spring. Who knows what a fresh start will bring, maybe this is the path to true happiness for you. Good luck man.

come on down to Charlotte/Mooresville. Big RV scene in Mooresville because of the racing, I'm sure there are plenty of rv parks in charlotte too though. Where I Live is pretty much Hippie/yuppie central and I love it most of the time. After the pride parade pretty much every body came out to bars on my street. I haven't lived here long but I can show you some good restaurants, I've got a favorite sushi spot already, There's a Louisiana kitchen abotu 2 blocks from where I live, along with a great fish taco joint, a good korean bbq restaurant, tons of bars, a wine shoppe, an arcade/bar/club, art galleries (it's essentially the arts district) and an amazing indie coffee house with open mic nights and such.
It's a great town all told. Some ghetto parts but it's easy to avoid 'em.
and we have little pockets of culture all over the city.

SVreX wrote: Key West?

EXPENSIVE!!!! better to try a different key further north

That's a rough row to hoe, man. But I'll echo singleslammer...Columbia, MO, where he and I (and ClemSparks and stroker) live is:

1) Dirt cheap. Forbes/other magazines consistently put us in the top 20 places to live in the U.S.
2) Full of hippies. This is actually a negative for me, but hey, to each his own.
3) Big LGBTQ community (for the size of town). Very accepting of weirdness.
4) Liberal. Especially for the midwest/south.
5) Trump card. We have the Back 40. Even if you don't move here, we'll get you some seat time. Assuming any of us can get our cars to run.

Sorry to hear this man. But, the pain will fade and you have many adventures ahead of you.

Wow I am sorry to hear Curtis. I remember you posting some stuff maybe a month or two ago and I am assuming this is the continuation. As many have said before the pacific northwest really sounds like the place. The open mindness of liberal and LGBT people is definitely there as well as the hippy crowd. Not really a fan of the hippies but I like open minded people for sure.

Bend OR is 1000% the place I'd move if I could. That place is amazing.

Hungary Bill wrote: When I was in India they used to say "Everything works out well in the end. If it looks like it's not working out, it's because it's not the end."

Man, I really like this quote. I put myself in a pretty E36 M3ty position a couple of years ago and this is a pretty optimistic way of looking at it.

psteav wrote: That's a rough row to hoe, man. But I'll echo singleslammer...Columbia, MO, where he and I (and ClemSparks and stroker) live is: 1) Dirt cheap. Forbes/other magazines consistently put us in the top 20 places to live in the U.S. 2) Full of hippies. This is actually a negative for me, but hey, to each his own. 3) Big LGBTQ community (for the size of town). Very accepting of weirdness. 4) Liberal. Especially for the midwest/south. 5) Trump card. We have the Back 40. Even if you don't move here, we'll get you some seat time. Assuming any of us can get our cars to run.

Yea. Not a bad idea. As for the cars running, speak for yourself, Psteav. Good luck getting home after your keys have been stolen.

curtis73 wrote: Thanks for all the support folks. I'm just a mess.

So sorry, again dude. I can't imagine. I am frequently a berkeleying mess. We're here for you, man.