Daughter rode her bike to school for the first time today

All wise and knowing hive, how big of a Bob Costas am I for worrying about my daughter’s rite of passage.

Relevant Information…

She’ll be ten next month and is risk adverse to a fault.

We live in a suburb north of Los Angeles which boasts some of the lowest crime statistics in the country (I know it sounds IMPOSSIBRU but it’s true, Westlake Village, look it up).

The trip is ~1.5 miles with one busy intersection and one secluded green-belt that would be any a creepy guy’s dream come true.

She joined one of her classmates at about the halfway point (was supposed to meet up with another kid just a few houses away but her dad changed his mind at the last minute).

I’m not so worried about her being abducted as I am her getting run over by one of the countless yuppies preoccupied with clawing their way up to middle management.

Anyway, please let me know where I am on the Bob Costas meter.

Giant inflamed Bob Costas.

Clearly if you fear for her safety, you should give her a throwaway snubbie and tell her to stash it before going into school.

A little back I was thinking about how far we rode our BMX bikes. We'd hear about guys--guys from other school districts--who had ramps, and we'd go visit: no helmets, no water bottles, no cell phones, no spare tubes, no tools, no lights, no maps, no plan. Did Mom and Dad know where we were? Of course not. We barely knew where we were going.

If I had kids, would I let them do the same? Probably not.

David S. Wallens wrote: A little back I was thinking about how far we rode our BMX bikes. We'd hear about guys--guys from other school districts--who had ramps, and we'd go visit: no helmets, no water bottles, no cell phones, no spare tubes, no tools, no lights, no maps, no plan. Did Mom and Dad know where we were? Of course not. We barely knew where we were going. If I had kids, would I let them do the same? Probably not.

QFT

When I was 12 I got in trouble because my cousin and I thought it was a brilliant idea to get up early and ride to his parents lake house and fish. Only... we didn't bother to tell anyone and the lake house was 25 miles away out in the country.

No one was very happy with us when we got home at 11PM all tired and proud of ourselves.

We didn't stay out that late, but those adventures started the same: "Going riding with Kenny."

And then Kenny, I and whoever else would traipse across the greater Huntington area. This was before I broke my arm racing, so figure we were 14 or 15 at the time.

I just went through the same thing with my kids. Daughter is 10 and son is 8. They only have to ride 1/2 mile!

Being a kid that did similar things, 10-20 mile rides on a weekly basis. That was back when kids disappeared until the street lights came on.

Even with that history it's hard to let my own kids do 1/10th of what I did.

Being one of those kids that has now grown up to be a parent, sometimes I have to wonder if my parents even really cared

I know how freaked out I would be if my son was gone from the time the sun came up until the street lights were on like I was at his age

My sister won't let her kids walk to school without an adult. She lives a couple of blocks from where we grew up. The kids are walking the same streets to the same school that we did. The neighborhood has gotten nicer in the last 30 years, they're all million dollar homes now and when we moved in it was boarding houses. But she's scared of...well, everything. The school doesn't help, they don't even allow peanuts on school grounds.

Let your kids roam. They'll turn into better adjusted adults.

Grizz wrote: Clearly if you fear for her safety, you should give her a throwaway snubbie and tell her to stash it before going into school.

I friggin miss the days when I rode my bike to school with friends. Or everywhere else for that matter. Good times.

RX Reven' wrote: I’m not so worried about her being abducted as I am her getting run over by one of the countless yuppies preoccupied with clawing their way up to middle management.

Well, you have identified the biggest threat. I'm pretty sure I would not let my 11-year old son ride to school under similar circumstances. Kids really don't pay attention when they ride, or walk for that matter. Adults used to be the ones who looked out for them. Now, I'm pretty sure most wouldn't stop if they hit a kid.

David S. Wallens wrote: A little back I was thinking about how far we rode our BMX bikes. We'd hear about guys--guys from other school districts--who had ramps, and we'd go visit: no helmets, no water bottles, no cell phones, no spare tubes, no tools, no lights, no maps, no plan. Did Mom and Dad know where we were? Of course not. We barely knew where we were going. If I had kids, would I let them do the same? Probably not.

I kind of have to wonder what caused that shift in thinking. We did the same thing just 15 years ago. My buddy and I would go ride the trails around our houses with nothing except the idea that we couldn't possibly get hurt.

I wonder if things have actually more dangerous or if its just the 24 hour news cycle telling us how horrible society has become. Crime statistics say things are better than things have been in 20 years but it doesn't feel that way in my little microcosm.

i was riding my bike to school in first grade... had to get there early so i could get a spot on the bike rack where i could put my bitchin combination bike lock on- i kept it wrapped around the seat post.

it was only 2 blocks, but still, i got to ride my bike to school..

then after school, sometimes i'd go home to watch some cartoons, but most times we'd ride to the Tom Thumb store on the other side of town (like 6 blocks from the school, but across a busy US highway) and play video games or something before going home.. or maybe down to the lake.. or over to a friend's house to play GI Joe or Transformers.. or maybe just ride around town in a pack of between 5-15 kids... sometimes my mom would be upset when i got home 3 hours after school got out, but she was usually fine with it..

now the school doesn't even have a bike rack, but i can honestly say that i see more elementary school age kids out and about after school in my little home town than i've seen in any of the other towns i've lived in since becoming an adult 20+ years ago, which tells me that they are doing something right in this town...

The0retical wrote: I wonder if things have actually more dangerous or if its just the 24 hour news cycle telling us how horrible society has become. Crime statistics say things are better than things have been in 20 years but it doesn't feel that way in my little microcosm.

It's the 24 hour news cycle.

All of life is calculated risks. If you don't start trusting them early to face the smaller ones, how can you expect them to handle the bigger ones when they get older?

I rode all over our small town on a bmx bike growing up. In the summer I was out from dawn till dusk. Are things different now? I dunno, maybe. Maybe not.

I don't have kids but I do know how perspective changes. For yeas I rode a road bike all over the place and never really felt endangered by traffic, only annoyed. Then my wife started riding and I was suddenly petrified. Seemed like I had a LOT more to lose.

I don't think it's unreasonable to let your daughter ride if the route is safe. Pepper spry and an emergency whistle might be standard equipment though.

Look into the "Safe Routes To Schools" movement - they are doing great work nationwide and garner a lot of financial and visibility backing to empower young people to ride and walk to school. Maybe they could do something in your area if there's something that needs improved. The greenway is a concern, but maybe local government would be open to the idea of placing a cop or crossing guard on foot there during school transit hours, or maybe a neighborhood watch group could. Doesn't hurt to ask - after all, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

For the sake of argument, is it possible that the crime has gone down becuase there is less opportunity?

In any case, assuming I end up raising kids in the general area that I want to raise kids, they'll be riding their bikes a lot.

I would not let my girls ride to school if they had to cross a busy intersection. But that's me.

By modern standards, you're near the bottom of the scale. Objectively, a bit high on it

Look at it this way: Cars are more safe, and people are more aware of pedophiles, than ever before. Yet those things have existed for many generations now, and they didn't cause mass child death. People act like pedophiles were born from the Chernobyl disaster (really a few horrific crimes that made them prominent in the media) and cars became carnivorous mechanical predators some time in the 80s.

The change is a complete illusion driven by the media. One of the main reasons my parents moved from Canada was because they were worried about violence and pedophiles - from a quiet rural-ish first-world suburb where I could have lived my whole life and never seen even a single knife fight or come in contact with drugs and where a pedophile would be crushed like a bug by the system, to a place where I have seen a good few knife fights (and nearly been involved in one, without a knife), drugs are commonplace and a little girl in my sister's class was being molested by her father and society's reaction was "meh, private family matter." The difference is all in how the media reports things. Moving to a place with a "less advanced" media presence felt safer. Like the past.

GameboyRMH wrote: By modern standards, you're near the bottom of the scale. Objectively, a bit high on it Look at it this way: Cars are more safe, and people are more aware of pedophiles, than ever before. Yet those things have existed for many generations now, and they didn't cause mass child death. People act like pedophiles were born from the Chernobyl disaster (really a few horrific crimes that made them prominent in the media) and cars became carnivorous mechanical predators some time in the 80s. The change is a complete illusion driven by the media. One of the main reasons my parents moved from Canada was because they were worried about violence and pedophiles - from a quiet rural-ish first-world suburb where I could have lived my whole life and never seen even a single knife fight or come in contact with drugs and where a pedophile would be crushed like a bug by the system, to a place where I have seen a good few knife fights (and nearly been involved in one, without a knife), drugs are commonplace and a little girl in my sister's class was being molested by her father and society's reaction was "meh, private family matter." The difference is all in how the media reports things. Moving to a place with a "less advanced" media presence felt safer. Like the past.

Great. Now this is stuck in my head.

Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's calling out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alienation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.

The0retical wrote: I wonder if things have actually more dangerous or if its just the 24 hour news cycle telling us how horrible society has become. Crime statistics say things are better than things have been in 20 years but it doesn't feel that way in my little microcosm.

Happy people who feel safe don't need to hang on the news for every tidbit of information about the crisis du jour.

Happy people who feel safe don't need to buy home security services and monitor systems, or pay for more idiot-proof electronic nannies in every product.

Happy people who feel safe don't vote to overfund and overequip police departments.

Happy people who feel safe don't vote in authoritarian politicians who promise more regulations and more policing to make everything safer "for our way of life and our children".

Now that scared idiots have been led to buy the products and pay the taxes and vote for the politicians for a few decades or so, anybody here feel happier or safer? Hmmmmm.

The0retical wrote: I kind of have to wonder what caused that shift in thinking. We did the same thing just 15 years ago. My buddy and I would go ride the trails around our houses with nothing except the idea that we couldn't possibly get hurt. I wonder if things have actually more dangerous or if its just the 24 hour news cycle telling us how horrible society has become. Crime statistics say things are better than things have been in 20 years but it doesn't feel that way in my little microcosm.

Welcome to the Information Age. There is something to be said for the concept of "ignorance is bliss".

To the OP - I think you're fine and your concern is normal - but you're not letting it control you. I don't have kids but one of my old HS friends does and loves to post whatever crosses her mind about them on FB. A few years ago I remember her posting about feeling scared/proud about finally letting her two (boy: 12 & girl: 11) walk down to the corner store alone/together for the first time. She knew she would have to start "letting go" eventually, but taking that first step was nerve-wracking.

Nick_Comstock wrote: Being one of those kids that has now grown up to be a parent, sometimes I have to wonder if my parents even really cared

They cared, they just wanted you to experience & enjoy the blissful freedom for a short while. My parents were the same way.

Kids can be dumb. Drivers can be really dumb.

It's the same reason why I don't ride a street bike. I completely trust my skills on two wheels, I just don't trust the idiots around me.

Beer Baron wrote:

The0retical wrote: I wonder if things have actually more dangerous or if its just the 24 hour news cycle telling us how horrible society has become. Crime statistics say things are better than things have been in 20 years but it doesn't feel that way in my little microcosm.

It's the 24 hour news cycle. All of life is calculated risks. If you don't start trusting them early to face the smaller ones, how can you expect them to handle the bigger ones when they get older?

That's the point I was trying to make in a nutshell. Our society is safer than it has ever been but you couldn't tell that by listening to the drivel the news networks put out there.

The chances are so vanishingly thin that you will be kidnapped by a jihadist or shot by one of those crazy mass shooters that the odds may as well not exist. The public acts as if it's inevitable however because of the fear/entertainment ideas they get from the 24/7 networks. That isn't to say that risks don't exist but its good to have kids that are independent as long as you know where they are.

So to the OP worry is natural and I hope everything is fine. I'm happy to see someone will take a calculated risk today. Especially since from what you described there's limited traffic exposure.

yamaha wrote: They cared, they just wanted to experience & enjoy the blissful freedom from their kids for a short while. My parents were the same way.

fixed it..