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bearmtnmartin
bearmtnmartin SuperDork
1/17/20 2:58 p.m.

The plaintiff said he has trouble following the plot without closed captioning.

 

I won't bother linking the actual story. But that deserves its own meme I think.

NickD
NickD PowerDork
1/17/20 3:05 p.m.

Good god, I expected this to be an Onion article.

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
1/17/20 3:09 p.m.

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

1988RedT2
1988RedT2 MegaDork
1/17/20 3:15 p.m.
bearmtnmartin said:

The plaintiff said he has trouble following the plot without closed captioning.

 

I won't bother linking the actual story. But that deserves its own meme I think.

Wait, there's a plot?

bluej
bluej UberDork
1/17/20 3:15 p.m.
John Welsh said:

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

*slapping sounds*

Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado
Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado Dork
1/17/20 3:24 p.m.
bluej said:
John Welsh said:

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

*slapping sounds*

*slapping sounds intensify*

Javelin
Javelin MegaDork
1/17/20 3:50 p.m.

I call bogus! The videos with foreign models all have English closed captioning.

Subscriber-unavailabile
Subscriber-unavailabile Reader
1/17/20 4:10 p.m.

Lol I just told this to my deaf Fil and he agreed!!

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair MegaDork
1/17/20 4:23 p.m.

[ASL]

dammit, i'm lost again!

[/ASL]

Wally
Wally MegaDork
1/17/20 4:24 p.m.
Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado said:
bluej said:
John Welsh said:

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

*slapping sounds*

*slapping sounds intensify*

*boot stuck in mud sounds *

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
1/17/20 5:57 p.m.

As a deaf person, I'm embarressed.  If your watching porn for the sounds, your doing it wrong. He should know better.

Dusterbd13-michael
Dusterbd13-michael MegaDork
1/17/20 6:04 p.m.
Wally said:
Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado said:
bluej said:
John Welsh said:

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

*slapping sounds*

*slapping sounds intensify*

*boot stuck in mud sounds *

This made me feel better.  Thank you!!!!

 

I needed this today. And im pretty sure its better without sound....

Will
Will UltraDork
1/17/20 6:19 p.m.

The best part of this story, if one were to Google it, is mainstream news sites naming the titles of specific videos he wanted to watch.

Adrian_Thompson
Adrian_Thompson MegaDork
1/17/20 6:53 p.m.

I'll volunteer to transcribe if needed. 

Wally
Wally MegaDork
1/17/20 7:09 p.m.

Would he settle for the sign language interpreter in the corner of the screen?  

barefootskater
barefootskater SuperDork
1/17/20 7:37 p.m.

I mean, it is pretty important to know if the handyman is "here to service you" or if it's a plumber "here to lay some pipe."

bluej
bluej UberDork
1/17/20 7:41 p.m.
Wally said:

Would he settle for the sign language interpreter in the corner of the screen?  

I know how to sign "platypus" and "tasty cookie", so I think I've got that covered if you want to pass my name along with the suggestion. I can probably improvise anything else.

ShawnG
ShawnG UltimaDork
1/17/20 7:44 p.m.

Now we need a blind person to sue for lack of described video.

bluej
bluej UberDork
1/17/20 7:48 p.m.

OK, I just checked, and apparently the sign I thought was platypus is actually "sea turtle".  probably close enough for pornhub:

https://www.handspeak.com/word/search/index.php?id=6379

 

Duke
Duke MegaDork
1/17/20 7:59 p.m.
bluej said:

OK, I just checked, and apparently the sign I thought was platypus is actually "sea turtle".  probably close enough for pornhub: 

No no nonoonononono!

I've been platypused before  and it was an experience I wouldn't mind trying again, but I read about sea turtles on Urban Dictionary and it sounds frankly disgusting, and probably illegal in most states. 

But hey, whatever starches your shorts, man. 

ProDarwin
ProDarwin UltimaDork
1/17/20 7:59 p.m.
Will said:

The best part of this story, if one were to Google it, is mainstream news sites naming the titles of specific videos he wanted to watch.

Yaroslav Suris, a New York resident, tried to watch videos on Pornhub entitled “Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew,” “Sexy Cop Gets Witness To Talk” and others in October 2019 and January 2020

Some of the titles Suris says he watched but was completely lost on dialogue -- "Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew," "Sexy Cop Gets Witness to Talk" and "Daddy 4K -- Allison comes to Talk About Money to Her Boys' Naughty Father." 

Perhaps most importantly:

"While we do not generally comment on active lawsuits, we’d like to take this opportunity to point out that we do have a closed captions category "

spitfirebill
spitfirebill MegaDork
1/17/20 9:50 p.m.

How do you close caption the cheesy music? 

Robbie
Robbie MegaDork
1/17/20 10:14 p.m.
spitfirebill said:

How do you close caption the cheesy music? 

Brown. Chicken. Brown. Cow.

ShawnG
ShawnG UltimaDork
1/17/20 11:04 p.m.

If the plot in porn is correct, being a pizza boy is the best job ever.

Floating Doc
Floating Doc SuperDork
1/17/20 11:34 p.m.
Wally said:
Ethnic Food-Wrap Aficionado said:
bluej said:
John Welsh said:

A sample of porn closed caption...

 

O, ooooooo, ooooooo, oooo,  ooooooooooo,  ooo,  ooooooo....

 

 

*slapping sounds*

*slapping sounds intensify*

*boot stuck in mud sounds *

Wally wins the internet!

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