Dear female cardinal

I know you enjoy throwing  your body relentlessly into my living room window to show your territorial dominance but it’s 530 in the morning.  Could you please start your 12 hour 80’s throwback slam dancing a little later?

sincerely your friend

fbc

ps. If you could clean up your 17 lbs of excrement you left all around the cherry tree it’s be greaaat.  Before it freezes If possible. 

Years ago, my fiancée had a BMW 530i and she came home one day with strange marks on the passenger side mirror. I couldn’t figure out what they were, but they washed off, so no big deal. Next day, more marks. The following day, more. Nothing anywhere else on the car, just the mirror. Now, we worked together, so I knew where her car was parked and that none of our employees would be doing anything but I still couldn’t figure it out.

Fast forward a few days and I just happened to be looking out the window and noticed a cardinal sitting on the mirror. Then, it gripped the top edge of the mirror housing, bent over and began pecking at the mirror face. Son-of-a-b!t¢H! I walked over and sure enough, I found out who the culprit was. That night when we got home I tried washing the mirror, but this time the glass was scratched. Not terrible, but definitely noticeable. Who would think that a small birds beak could scratch a car’s mirror. 

This is continued for over a week and just to her car. Nobody else’s vehicles were touched. Weird. After ordering a new mirror glass, it was my understanding that the cardinal met its fate. 

Bullet.  Or pellet if you live in town or occupied territory. 

In reply to Dr. Hess :

My first thought was .177 lead injection.. but the wife............

Yeah, well, you just don't mention it to them.  Or give them the option of them cleaning up after the bird.

We had coons when we moved in.  I would cap them and get "DON'T SHOOT THEM WHEN I'M AROUND.  THEY'RE SO CUTE....!!11!1"  Then the coons made a serious strategic blunder and broke her gazing ball.  After that it was "Honey, I think I hear another one...."

Close the shades. Birds usually don't fly into windows that don't look open.

I expected this thread would be about girls getting into this "all boys" club... 

Of course, now I've done it and brought religion/politics/gender into a place it does not belong.  

So, I'll need to find a way to further deflect.  

Let's just say that this thread was not what I expected...

In reply to Robbie :

did it.. didn't work

Robbie said:

Close the shades. Birds usually don't fly into windows that don't look open.

BullE36 M3

We has a mockingbird terrorize my wife for months. We tried everything short of covering the outside windows.  It made no difference.  

There's this thing called "reflection" ...

slantvaliant said:

There's this thing called "reflection" ...

Bingo.  

We had a bird that would spend about 45 minutes trying repeatedly to fly into the east-facing window in the living room.  Just about every day.  It would give up on that after 45-60 minutes and after a while it would fly around to the west-facing window and spend some time trying to fly through that one.  Then back to the east-facing window, and so on.  It hasn't done it for a while so I can only assume that it gave itself CTE and died.

Crap, I have the same problem EVERY morning at 6am

And now this guy decided it was cool to scratch on the sliding door and try to get in

I am looking for a good pellet gun.