Discombobulated by Situation with Friend

In reply to Beer Baron :

I'm asking a genuine question, no clue why you see it as sniping. Username bias I guess. 
Like I answered earlier, not your drama, why make it so?

In reply to Steve_Jones :

I think you misunderstood. 
 

I was sharing that I always try to adapt as best as I am able, but that you can't ever get your feelings and cultural norms completely out of the way. 
 

Trying to adapt and succeeding at it are very different things. 
 

I always try to respect local culture. I never understood it. I was also never very successful at achieving it, because it didn't fit well with me. 
 

I've lived as an expat most of my life.  The only thing I can say about it at this point is it has made me incredibly tolerant and patient about things I have no understanding of.   Not a contradiction. 
 

And to be clear, it started as a compliment to Beer Baron. That was all.  I was complimenting him on his understanding of some cultural things that few people understand. I admire that. A lot. 

... and actually, the fact that I always named a time was still culturally insensitive. They didn't have clocks or watches. They NEVER named a time. 

There may well be a cultural component to it all, but I have met people of many different races and religions, and some of each type are straight up shiny happy people.

And most are not.  

My question has been answered and I came to grips with the situation. It's irksome, but not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.

I did my part as a friend showing up at the time he said and waiting longer than he asked me to, even if that meant I didn't see him. I did not need to drop everything to rush over there when I'd decided to move on with my evening. Why he was so late and what was going on with the party, we can hypothesize and try to assign fault, but that's not worth the heartburn to me.

I'd still like to see him before he leaves, but I'm not going to bend over backwards to do that. If he wants to see me, we'll make time.

I'm still curious about wtf is up with his wife and kids. Call it morbid curiosity if you want. Not something I'm going to lose sleep over.

It was really bugging me yesterday morning and I wanted to get it off my chest and process it. For our afternoon weight training session, we were doing 1-rep max lifts to set some PR's; I wanted to get myself mentally prepared for that.

Anecdote: This weekend we went to a barbeque with friends. Most of them were from Central America, at least 2 did not speak English. 

We showed up 10 minutes late. Host was mowing his lawn, and we were the only people there for a solid 20 more minutes. 

mtn said:

Anecdote: This weekend we went to a barbeque with friends. Most of them were from Central America, at least 2 did not speak English. 

We showed up 10 minutes late. Host was mowing his lawn, and we were the only people there for a solid 20 more minutes. 

Seriously. That's what I expected to walk into. "Oh, you're here. We're still cooking. Let me see if someone can find some chairs."

Honestly, it sounds like now might be the time for a clean break. It's unlikely that one last encounter with will provide satisfactory closure to your 'morbid curiosity'.