Emotional hangover

I feel like a wrung out dishcloth. Attended the service of an old friend who finally succumbed to cancer. Doesn't feel real, I've just been bombarded with memories the last couple of days, good and bad. We dated for a couple of years back in the late 90s, helped each other through some bad times and have been neighbours and friends for 16 years. I knew he was going to die, but didn't think he'd actually go through with it, you know? I've come to the conclusion that when someone you have history with dies, a big chunk of you goes with them, since no one else will ever know you in precisely the same way that they did.

Sometimes, people will say that it's "easier" when everyone knows it's coming.

No. No it isn't. Death is death, and there's nothing easy about it. Condolences, Lesley.

That's hard.....my thoughts go out to you.

I agree, they take a chunk of you with them. That's the sad news. But the miracle is that they also leave a chunk of themselves with you. It just takes time until the joy of that can come to you. In the meantime, we're here. Sending a big hug.

Margie

What Margie said.

Condolences to you, his family and friends.

Thanks guys. What a celebration it was, sending him off. He was part of a huge clan – loud and passionate folks who descended en masse from all over, and was hugely loved by the community, especially all the local musicians. He had a lot of friends and people he had helped over the 30 years he lived in this city. The guy was an original, there will never be another like him, that's for sure. As probably the only really visible (and vocal!) minority in a really white, tightass town – he stood out! We didn't hang out much over the last couple of years other than sidewalk visits outside our houses, exchanging gossip and bitching about the neighbours, but I was able to spend a bit of time with him these last few weeks.

My condolences Lesley, he sounds like quite an interesting fellow who reached a lot of people.

All I ever ask of life is that people speak kindly of me at my funeral. Sounds like that happened for your friend- smile at the good memories.

Sorry to hear you lost a friend. I know its tuff. Im glad you were able to spend some quality time in the end. Also glad to hear he had so many close friends to support each other and celebrate him. You have my condolences.

Sorry to hear that Lesley.. I agree.. you give a bit of yourself to everyone you know.. and you get a bit back. Once the shock is over, cherish what he gave you

That's good advice, thanks guys :-)

Hey Leslie- you're family. We all grieve with you.

Jeez, don't make me cry again!

Go ahead. It's good for you.

cwh wrote: Go ahead. It's good for you.

+1. It is, actually.

Lesley, very sorry to hear of this. It's very true that we all swap pieces of our lives.

A few years ago, my dad sent me an Email link to an obit, saying 'didn't you date this girl'? Sure did, for about a year just out of high school, hadn't thought of or seen her for ages. She died of cancer. Even though there had been no contact for ~35 years it was still a hard hit.

It's an awful feeling. Surreal almost. It's making me really conscious of not taking anyone for granted.

I wish you peace and strength, Lesley. And hugs, lots of hugs.

Lesley, I have been there. so I have some idea what you are going through. Although everyone grieves in their own way. Just keep the good thoughts and forget any bad ones if there are any. Peace go with you.

Prayers.