Everybody poops

Figured this goes well with all of today's food talk:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1857113,00.html

so that would make our groups sub forum the GTO

Does anyone remember the Romans? A commode with a USB port to be able to hook up your MP3 player seems to remind me of their decadence just before their decline.

carguy123 wrote: Does anyone remember the Romans? A commode with a USB port to be able to hook up your MP3 player seems to remind me of their decadence just before their decline.

I was kind of thinking the same thing. For the ultimate in toilets, check out the Japanese washlets. My wife once encountered one that could deliver a flushing sound at the touch of a button. Seriously. Heated seats (high and low temperatures) and personal cleansing jets of water are common features.

Reminds me of that episode of "Home Improvement" that was the ultimate bathroom

They'll have my flush toilet when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

While I'm all for innovation and improvement, I can't believe anyone is seriously thinking about taking sanitation advice from the developing world. More cholera and dysentery for everyone.

with all these food threads, your gonna need to take a E36 M3

We might as well make this thread have some real utility.

I have recently built a new home and had to address the issue of commodes. That's not such an easy issue as there are many types, looks and variants AND PRICES.

I really wanted one with heated seats but found I would have had to mortgage the kids to afford even one and I needed 6. Since the kids no longer live at home I had difficulty getting permissions to put a lien on them. It seems that to get a heated seat they wanted to add every bangle and whistle they could come up with as a way to drive the price up.

There were add-on aftermarket heated seats, but with the cost of everything else I chose to to add them later, I settled for a sticker since everyone knows a sticker adds 50 hp. I presumed that while the heat from those 50 extra hp might not give my bum a sun burn it could at least take the chill off. So far my theory has proven correct since I have had no more desires for a heated seat.

But the looking did make me realize that in most bathrooms you can't even have a heated seat so just dream on. The first criteria is an electrical outlet close by, how many of you have that? So to be safe I added an electrical outlet behind or beside all of my commodes and whilst I was at it I put a receptacle in there with a plug and a built in automatic LED night light so now I can find the pot in the dark! That's way too cool!

But I have found the coolest seats, they go down slowly. No more having the seat fall and trying to cut off the best 2-4". No more having the seat fall in the middle of the night and you having to get out of bed and make the trip in there just to prove to your wife there's no one there.

But there was one aspect I was not compromising on - it had to flush cleanly and fully on one flush That's not so easy to do with the new low flow models. (low flow=low/no flush) What good is having a low flow toilet if you have to flush it 4-5 times? At the old house I had to keep a plunger by every seat and use them often. Fortunately for you, and the other members of my household, there is a relatively cheap and easily available solution.

When I began my shopping I told the guys that I was tired of having to plunge regularly and I wanted a toilet that would suck the panties off my granny. They exist.

You've seen those ads for commodes that flush hundreds of golf balls, tennis balls or a whole roll of toilet paper? They work! When buying a toilet look for a commode with the biggest glazed passageway and the largest dump valve. Mine has a 4" valve which gives me the class 4 rapids. You won't be tempted to save time and flush before you are thru with your stream as you need to be ready with both hands to hang on so that you aren't sucked in.

A plus is these only use about a gallon a flush.

For those of you who need something larger than life they have power assist commodes as well that seem to use fire hose technology. It can make things disappear in the blink of an eye! And when I say things, I mean you better have your pants up and buckled before you flush.

Now for the not so happy news, the newer low flow commodes (the only kind you can buy) may not work so well in your older home. There's simply not enough water flow to carry the rejectamenta, dreck, swill, refuse, garbage, junk down the pipes if it isn't designed just perfectly. In the olden days they didn't have to be so careful about how much drop there was in the lines so you may find yourself having to clean the lines more often once you add them. One help is to take most of your tub baths in the tub at the furtherest part of the drain run. Tubs are good for cleaning out the lines, showers not so good.

On another note, I hate the mini toilets they put on the new homes. When you are replacing yours be sure to get a real human sized commode, it's a few dollars more expensive and you'll appreciate the difference every day. They even have the "comfort height" that keeps your knees out of your chin when you are sitting. These do have the problem of now that your knees are gone, you'll have to find some other way to prop up your GRM for reading.

Comfort height also means that there will be fewer dribbles and out right misses. The bowl is closer and therefore harder to miss.

This is a tip from my doctor. Those of you with bad backs will appreciate the comfort height as it is easier to get up and down plus our body is in a better position to distribute the strain of doing your business without applying pressure to the back and muscles. It seems that when you are on those low small toilets the pressure you apply seems to go more towards your lower back which causes shooting pains down the leg.

You could probably grassroots together a heated seat with the guts of a few heated side view mirrors from the scrapyard on the underside of the seat.

EastCoastMojo wrote: You could probably grassroots together a heated seat with the guts of a few heated side view mirrors from the scrapyard on the underside of the seat.

lol somehow i'm picturing one of those shaper image massager seat cover bits mounted onto the crapper with a hole cut in it

This is one industry I'm going to let other people take care of...

So Carguy123, which brand/model did you get?

It's good to know that the next time I find myself pissing on the lawn that I'm not just being a drunken slob, but being environmentally conscious.

I remember happening upon a talk show hosted by Mike Hukeby and he was quizing his audience on which of three choices was an actual pork barrel project. one of them was a $100,000 dollar research grant for developing flush free urinals, he then went around the audience asking them if they thought this was a good use of their tax money the typical response was something along the lines of " um, no?" Berkeleying morons it's hard to think of many things more important than sanitation and water resources.

Any way, I can't wait till we get our stillsuits

from the article: "It may have been quite some time since relating the adventures of your most recent bowel movement has constituted acceptable fodder for conversation..."

They've obviously never visited our offices. People are routinely seen exiting restrooms looking for someone to high-five.

jg

It's good to know that the next time I find myself pissing on the lawn that I'm not just being a drunken slob, but being environmentally conscious.

Upon moving into our house, the window in the basement quickly became the "downstairs half-bath." Eventually Mrs. Poop came to accept and even embrace the idea (it keeps greasy drunk hongers away from the "decorative" towels,) and installed a "Men's Room" sign above the window.

Anyway, there's a ~4' X 4' patch of grass that stays thick, green, and lush all year long, which leads me to believe that our soil must be whiskey and nicotine-deficient or something.