"AREA MOFO ANNOUNCES PLANS TO CHILL."
https://www.google.com/amp/s/local.theonion.com/area-mofo-announces-plans-to-chill-1819586176/amp
Be like the mofo, people.
"AREA MOFO ANNOUNCES PLANS TO CHILL."
https://www.google.com/amp/s/local.theonion.com/area-mofo-announces-plans-to-chill-1819586176/amp
Be like the mofo, people.
mtn said:You clearly do not have a pregnant wife. I live in fear every single day. Mostly of her. Today I was afraid that she was going to hit me over the head with a frying pan because 2 weeks ago I made onion and sausage in it and she said it smelled wonderful. So this morning, I decided to make it again. And she told me I had stunk up the house and was an inconsiderate ogre. I found that to be rather insulting; I may be slightly smelly, but I'm not nearly as fat as your average ogre.
I do have a pregnant wife, havent been threatened with the frying pan yet, but have had some amusing sources of frustration.
I have assumed all driving duties if we go into the city (we are in a DC suburb). It was her call, to reduce chances of a homicidal rage at idiot drivers.
I really am lucky that she is self-aware enough to know when her frustrations are not well founded. 
bluebarchetta said:It's fear. Fear is driving everyone crazy. The 24/7 news cycle has kept us in a constant state of fear for about 17 years now, and people are losing their E36 M3. It's not mentally healthy.
I am afraid of precarious high places, God's judgment, my wife's judgment, complications of Type 1 diabetes, and rusty Miatas.
I am not afraid of Ebola, the Clintons, anthropogenic global warming, people of color, people of pallor, Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, bird flu, swine flu, regular old flu, assault weapons, violent video games, dogs in hot cars, cross-dressers in the restroom, rednecks, Muslims, Jews, Indians (whether native or H-1B visa), smog, allergies, labor unions, pot smokers, methheads, metalheads, Deadheads, "the gays" (married or single), the Rebel flag, robots (driving my car, taking my job, or replacing my wife), panhandlers, Tide-pod eaters, spiders, coyotes, the death of cursive writing, random beatings, speech of any kind, or any of the other boogeymen our glowing rectangular fear generators tell me to fear.
In conclusion, mndsm is right. Everyone needs chili.
Be not afraid!
See, I dont think its fear. Somewhere along the line someone sent out a pamphlet. I clearly did not get one. This pamphlet told these people that they are all entitled to do precisely whatever they want and screw everyone else. Cut in line, swear, play your phone on speaker all the time (regardless of what or who you're talking to) be mad at me for nothing. Common courtesy is out the window. I suspect they started giving it out with participation trophies and certificates for paying attention in karate class. And when someone (namely me, because why not) exhibits a total disregard for the pamphlet, 4 colors and all, and politely (or not politely, quite frankly I'm quite out of berkeleys to give for your bullE36 M3) they dont much care for it.
In all truthfulness, I should probably feel bad for the sonata. It ranks just above the Nissan Altima in terms of driver quality. The problem is, Hyundai will give a loan to nearly anyone, including the mentally ill who are in no way capable of operating aid motor vehicle. She was also coming out of one of the local transient hotels, which is a great indicator of positive life decisions.
It also makes me think further on life. I think not enough people have bricks. I'm going to start a delivery service. If you see and or know of someone that has an abundance of not chill and you think it might be a brick deficiency, contact me. I'll deploy one of my brick handling specialists to deliver one posthaste to the needy. I figure if enough people get bricks, the demand for them and the stress associated will dissipate, and people will calm down.
We are in the waning phase of the moon, almost at new moon. People have been "acting especially squirrelly" since the last full moon. My husband even mentioned it to me a few weeks back that people were driving crazy.
I agree though, everybody needs to chill. Not berkeleying likely though.
Also, gearheadmb wins the internet today. I laughed so hard I snorted and that scared the dog.
Ever since I started getting paid seat time, I've been much more relaxed behind the wheel, because, berkeley it, I'm getting paid. When I was self employed, time was money, and the more seconds I shaved off the drive, the more I could make, regardless of the trail of wreckage left in my wake.
I don't miss that one bit.
I'll admit, I've been more angry than usual. I do blame it on the morons I encounter running red lights, stop signs, and doing 55 in the left lane. Even when traffic is light, I still often encounter people that wait until the last minute to drive across 3 lanes or more to hit their exit. The people in charge of traffic lights are on my list of "people to kill". Dammit, try and get one light green. Go ahead, I dare you. I tried this week to find a place on my way into work to sell me a real jelly donut. No luck so far. The places that sell real donuts apparently hate jelly, including Wal Mart. Maybe it's the Russians. They're behind all this and trying to destabilize our economy.
Just remember, they are called stoplights and not golights for a reason. 
This guy did some seriously dangerous driving. Then he did some more and had some rude gestures. I used my outside voice to tell him how to operate a stop sign and copulate. He yelled back You're right. I apologize. I wasn't expecting that. Worked on me.
ONE jackhole jamming up the fast lane ruined the entire last half of my commute yesterday. I remained calm, but my fellow commuters did not. There were multiple close calls where people were trying to get by in the slow lane. I should’ve hopped off the hwy & taken the long way home.
I seldom take the interstate anywhere. Too many self absorbed individuals and not enough escape routs.
Give me a empty country road with a 55 mph speed limit any day of the week.
In reply to mtn :
How much longer before the little ogre is born?
Yesterday did seem to be a serious CBD*. Walmart parking lot, one, early 20's, blasting the wrong way down a one way parking lane, just missed me and my shopping cart. A car was backing out of a spot, looking behind them for cars coming the right way and didn't see her coming from the left/wrong way (left==wrong, I crack me up). Just avoided hitting her. Other incidents on the freeway.
I've noticed that there are patterns. CBD, CAhD, C Honduh Day, C Dodge Day, rare C Toyota Day, etc.
*Crazy Bitch Day
The Toyotas are all gold Camrys going 10 under causing all the other crazyness.
maschinenbau said:I prefer the thumbs down out the window, frowny face, shaking head move. That will stick with you all day and make you feel bad later.
I'm totally stealing this. It's great.
In reply to Mndsm : the problem is these phones.
So often we have our noses in them ( yes I’m guilty ) we forget the manners our grandparents taught us and act like the characters we see on TV or the movies.
It’s not a matter of chilling, it’s a matter of manners.
In reply to frenchyd :
It's true. People learn to be shiny happy people on the internet and it bleeds over to real life.
Hey mndmsdmbdsm i sent you a pm yesterday.
Since we are being pushed to grow our branch 50% of the people are pissed off and not nice to deal with.
One of the previous rich guy owners; now a lowly well paid employee asked a shop guy how much time a day does he spend bitching about his job to others.
That went over well as he ended bitching to me about this guy.
In reply to Patrick :
Replied, mr. Patrick. Spam filter got you.
It's been a few tough days here in SoNE. Idiot drivers everywhere. Somebody previously said it's because it's May. Maybe. But I've been extremely pissed off with piss-poor drivers lately. Just ask Annie. I think it has to do with the dumbing-down of society. Drivers included. Oh, was I just not PC? Berkeley it!
Gary said:It's been a few tough days here in SoNE. Idiot drivers everywhere. Somebody previously said it's because it's May. Maybe. But I've been extremely pissed off with piss-poor drivers lately. Just ask Annie. I think it has to do with the dumbing-down of society. Drivers included. Oh, was I just not PC? Berkeley it!
I dont think you're wrong. One of the side effects of social media and everyone's constant push for acceptance is the overwhelming push society has for ultra fake politeness in the name of likes. Black mirror (show on netflix) outlined this quite well. The natural reaction is for people to push against it, which seems people bug bigger dicks than ever before.
You guys are bumming me out.
I'm gonna go watch the new episode of "Ow my balls!"
In reply to Trans_Maro :
"GO AWAY ! BATIN'!"
Mndsm said:Gary said:It's been a few tough days here in SoNE. Idiot drivers everywhere. Somebody previously said it's because it's May. Maybe. But I've been extremely pissed off with piss-poor drivers lately. Just ask Annie. I think it has to do with the dumbing-down of society. Drivers included. Oh, was I just not PC? Berkeley it!
I dont think you're wrong. One of the side effects of social media and everyone's constant push for acceptance is the overwhelming push society has for ultra fake politeness in the name of likes. Black mirror (show on netflix) outlined this quite well. The natural reaction is for people to push against it, which seems people bug bigger dicks than ever before.
I doubt that high a percent of American population gets their social training from the show you mentioned. I for one have never seen it or heard of it.
You may have a point in that some people resist correct behavior much like a spoiled child throws tantrums to get attention. In advanced civilizations like Japan and China where population densities massively exceed even the most crowded American cities. Being impolite is not only bad manners but a crime.
In Singapore being impolite will get you a caning. Other places are less drastic but will result in a serious fine or Jail time.
Perhaps a little bit of that might be called for?
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