How do you like to embarrass yourself?

Doing a new segment on Turn Left.

Guilty/Not Guilty.

What embarrassing automotive mistakes do you have for me to admit to? Anything. Anything at all. (setting my truck on fire, driving with wig-wags on, not latching the hood all the way, picked my nose in traffic...) Got the idea from our last show... which apparently hasn't been loaded to the website so I can't direct you to the podcast, but hey, I need to start editing my own shows....

I'd much appreciate the help.

Singing loudly, music cranked, bass audible to other cars, slapping the steering wheel in time. I'm a 37 year old white dude.

For the fiance it involves wearing a large mcdonalds sweet tea in the crotchular region of her jeans in the passenger seat of a low slung miata with the top down. (Truckers could see right down into the car.

We call it the Tea-Pee stain incident.

Love them. Keep them coming in. I hope to make this a weekly segment.

I am all for vigorously rocking out and drumming the steering wheel, wearing the sort of goofy music-appreciation face that usually only my shower curtain sees.

Also, if I'm driving a sports car through a neighborhood and see some gradeschool kid watching it, I will totally clutch in and rev the engine for their benefit.

I picked my nose once in traffic, but it was no mistake. That nostril needed pickin'.

A few years back I went from driving my Prelude, which had the horn buttons on either side of the steering wheel, to driving my husband's Mazda 3, which has radio volume buttons in the same place. Someone cut me off in traffic and I tapped the horn, but only managed to increase my radio volume to a deafening level. I was listening to NPR at tornado siren volume for a moment before I figured out what was going on. Got a few funny looks at the next light.

I had '65 Jeep J truck when I was 17. I told my dad that it made noise when I turn all the way in one direction but not the other. He put it up on the jack stand to check it out and the passenger front wheel flange and hub were now two parts. The flange was free from the hub. I never noticed any difference in driving it. I have no idea how the wheel stayed attached to the vehicle.

I also ran the oil out of a '53 Jeep CJ-3A that had a 3.8 Pontiac in it. The axle didn't have bump stops and the axle dented the oil filter enough to break the seal.

This was my first car:

Took first place in its class at NOPI, the All-Chrysler Nationals, and several other judged car shows. Yes, it was fast. And loud.

But those neons were a bit embarassing in hindsight. But then again, that was all the rage back at the turn of the century.

In reply to Sky_Render:

On the Saturn in my avatar, I opened the trans and welded the diff pin for reliability. Apparently I didn't put it back together tight enough, because several months later the car began to whine. Took me a while to track it down, but the car had no transmission fluid left in it :)

I tightened what I could with it in the car, threw some fluid back in it, then drove it around until I had the time to swap it with a junkyard unit.

I accidentally drove the Lemons car into the garage wall - forgot front calipers were not on it at the time and it had no e-brake.

Also on the Saturn in my avatar, I searched forever until I finally diagnosed the problem with the rough start/stumbling as a bad fuel pump (a known issue on '97s). Replaced it to the tune of $275 and took like 4 hours. Didn't fix it. Turns out it was the ECTS, which is a $10 part and only takes 15 minutes to replace. What makes that worse is that if you go to any Saturn forum and ask any question related to a S-Series not running correctly, the first response you will get is "Have you checked the ECTS?"

When I was 16 I ran to many different shops trying to find the correct lug-nut for my Hyundai. It needed a special one because the lug didn't stick out far past the wheel, and none of the shops had the right one! Finally a shop manager pointed out that the stud had broken and what was left of it was just really short.

Last one. My first car (in 1999) was a 1974 Valiant. I could never figure out why sometimes it would start and run great, yet other times I couldn't even get it to crank and would need to get a ride home. The car had interlock. Didn't occur to me until I was selling it that the reason it wasn't starting was because I wasn't buckled in.

I call this one "Thanks Captain Obvious":

Checked the oil in my Chevy 3/4 ton Scottsdale at a gas station. Topped it off, and closed the hood. Hey, that didn't sound like it latched all the way. Ah what the hell, I'm sure it's good.

Lucky for me I had the windows down because at 45mph the entire world went "beer bottle brown" which happened to be the same color as my hood.

I stuck my head out the window "Ace Ventura" style and started making my way to the shoulder when I heard "HEY!!! YOUR HOOD IS OPEN!!!!!" shouted from a vehicle heading in the opposite direction.

Thanks buddy

The next one is "Spark BEFORE Fuel":

Dead lawnmower, tinkering with it on my back patio. It starts, runs, dies. Must be fuel delivery so I drop the bowl on the carburetor and THEN notice that I should have pinched off the fuel line. There was at least 1/2 gallon pooled up around the base of the mower. I clean the carb a bit and figure the gas will just "go away" via evaporation. You know, since I'm here I might as well check compression and spark...

Remove spark plug, ground it, screw in compression tester and PULL!

I didn't see a nice crisp blue spark jump the gap, but I can safely assume the plug was good because I had a nice little "Mower-B-Q" started and no extinguisher to put it out. I ended up using a hose to "push" the gas and flames onto the cement patio where it could burn safely.

None of the above fixed the lawn mower.

My first car I owned was a beautiful 92 dodge stealth ES (fwd, no turbos) that I got from the original owner in 2003 after he babied it its whole life. I promptly added blue interior LED's to the interior and a last gen neon R/T spoiler out back. :(

I tried to do the 60k t-belt service that first year and didn't get it tight enough so it jumped time. I'd never really worked on cars before, but I taught myself how to rebuild the heads w/ some interwebs help over the summer. My brother owns it now and its still going strong almost ten years and 90k later.

Spoiler still looks like crap

In reply to N Sperlo:

Is that a CRX?

I was really into the whole tuner scene back in '05. I actually kind of miss it a little bit. The flashy paint jobs, the body kits, and the car shows were HUUUUUUUUGE. I try going to car shows now, and it's just not the same. You've got restored classics (which are cool, but you can only look at so many '57 Chevies), and "tuners" that are just clapped-out hondas held together with bondo and duct tape. I miss the really awesome builds with insane attention to detail and craftsmanship. And the Japanese econoboxes that were actually fast (for their time) and actually cool-looking without being too over the top.

OK, enough of that, sorry for hijacking your thread.

Dropped a screw into the distributor when I first got my '66 Dart. Instead of unbolting the distributor and shaking the thing out, I forgot the screw was there and tried to crank the motor. Broke several teeth on the distributor gear - luckily, slant sixes have nylon distributor gears, so the gear on the cam was unharmed.

Sky_Render wrote: Is that a CRX?

Far from. P71.

Laughing my ass off at all these. This will be fantastic and lead to many many laughs. I'll be sure to edit some up for a short and post it.

Keeeeeep um comin!

Based on the title I was going to say too much Bourbon, then I read the whole automotive part.

MANY years ago in my first car I had stopped at a friends house after track practice (yellow sweats and unlaced shoes, you'll see in a minute) to tint the windows. We got it done around dark and he advised me not to roll down the windows under any circumstances. Heading home I went a bit fast and late through a yellow light and garnered the attention of the local law enforcement official. When I pulled over I remembered that in that situation one is supposed to stay in the car and roll down the window....but I couldn't do that so what to do??

I decided to open the door and rotate my feet to the pavement while the officer was getting out of his car but stay seated so as to show that I was being a good/non-threatening lad. This might have worked if not for the unlaced running shoes which caught on the door sill causing me to fall/dive out of the car. I looked up in time to see the barrel of johnny laws service weapon.

Not my best moment but he felt sorry for me and I didn't get a ticket.

Side note, a couple years later the same car suffered a hood latch failure at speed.....also sucky moment.

z31maniac wrote: Based on the title I was going to say too much Bourbon, then I read the whole automotive part.

I can still use that.

KyAllroad wrote: I looked up in time to see the barrel of johnny laws service weapon. Not my best moment but he felt sorry for me and I didn't get a ticket.

I'm glad that turned out MUCH better than it could have.

Decided to use my new torque wrench while changing the spark plugs on my wife's 90 Celica. As I am tightening the first plug I am saying to myself "this seems really tight" and then - Snap. Cussing at myself I look at the wrench and see that I forgot to tighten the collar and I changed the setting. Fortunately I was able to take the cam cover off and get the plug out so all was well in the end but I felt like such an idiot.

Oh, forgot about this one. Its kinda long, but be patient with me.

Halloween, 2009. I took an early flight to St. Louis to pick up our Lemons car. It was "driveable" and I was going to spend the day/night driving it back to my house outside of D.C.

Sometime around 9 or 10pm, I get pulled over in Ohio. I was going ~75-80 in a 65, however was in the right lane behind a tractor trailer so I was a little surprised.

The office walks up to the car, which is tinted DARK. I've already turned the car off, rolled the window down, put the keys on the dashboard, and have both hands on the wheel. I'm in what appears to be a piece of E36 M3 modified car that should belong to an 18 year old trouble maker. He ducks down (this car very low) and shines his light in toward me.

Officer: You know why I... puullleeeddd... youuu... over?

His speech slowed down a bit and his face had a confused look on it. Probably because the car was full to the roof of spare parts. Cylinder heads, pistons, rods, intake manifolds, a turbo, downpipes, etc. You name it. There was a small area on the passenger side that was slightly clear so I could see the side view mirror.

Me: No sir.
Officer: Well, first of all you were speeding. Second... did you know you have no tail-lights?

I did not know this.

Me: No sir.
Officer: Can I see your license and registration?
Me: Uhhh...

So, I didn't have a trip-permit. I was driving it home on the previous owners plates. I explained this to the officer. He was not amused by it. He was even less amused when the plates did not show up in the system. We talk about the options a bit.

Officer: Well, you clearly have a lot of problems on your hands. I'll let you go on the plate thing, but you better pray you don't get pulled over between here and VA. If you do, this car is getting impounded and you'll have to find another ride home. I'll be back in a minute.
Me: Thank you sir.

While he went back to write up a ticket for speeding and faulty equipment, I call the previous owner.

Me: So... the tailights on this car aren't working.
P.O.: Oh, yeah. You need to connect them in the trunk.

I look in the trunk (battery located there) and there is a wire with a small jumper cable end that is spliced into the taillight circuit. You have to be berkeleying kidding me. I connect that to the positive terminal and the lights come on. As I'm finishing up in the trunk, the officer walks up and hands me my tickets/explains them. Again, I thank him for his generosity. I hurry back into the car as I'm starting to get quite cold... and the car wont start. Battery must be dead. berkeley. This is where I'm starting to get embarassed at how E36 M3ty this car is. This officer is probably having a hard time believing I actually paid money for it.

I hop out and slowly walk back toward the officer's car. The situation is obvious to him. He puts his car in gear and idles foward toward my car to give me a jump. Jumping the car is a straightforward process. We get it started, and I lean in and disconnect the cables. I hand them back to him and again thank the officer for his help. As he's widing them back up, I shut the trunk... which just bounces open again. I slam it. Nope, it just bounces open more. Looking at the latch, it appears to be ok. I wiggle it a bit, then slam it really hard. Once again, it just bounces open.

At this point, he's tossed the cables back in his trunk and was walking around toward his driver's seat again. I'm looking back at him with an open trunk, very frustrated. He's got the "What now?" look on his face.

Me: Do you have any duct tape?

10 minutes later, the back of the car is saturated in duct tape. I hand him back the roll, again thank him for his kindness, walk to my car, and drive away.

My '93 Honda Civic has green wheels and frequent is driven with the windows down (cause the A/C doesn't work) playing anything from Wu Tang Clan to blue grass.

Way back in the day I read somewhere that acetone could remove the yellowing from headlights. So, without thinking through it at all I proceeded to completely wipe down my girlfriend's integra's driver-side headlight assembly.... which was plastic. Somehow I missed the fact this only works on classic cars with real glass headlights.

Obviously, the car looked like it was blind in one eye after that. Doh!

When I was 17, I put Lakewood traction bars on my V6 Dakota. Backwards. And went to the track like that.

One I still get made fun of for (but you had to be there) was when I was 21. I went to Myrtle Beach for spring break with a couple buddies. We took my really clean and tastefully modded 01 Mustang GT. We got in a wreck where a buick shaved off my passenger fender, bumper, lights and took the hood 1/2 off. A group of kids walk by and one yells, "Hey mister, NICE CAR!" and busts out laughing.

When I was in high school, a friend and I were at the beach in my '78 MGB and I rear-ended another car because I was checking out a couple of very nice-looking bikinis. Fortunately, the car's rubber bumpers saved me from damaging anything but my ego, and the guy I bumped agreed the two bikinis were very nice.