How do you like to embarrass yourself?

I decided to do an engine and trans swap in my 72 Firebird. I was going from a 400/auto to the current 455/4speed. The 455 had come out of an auto car, so did't have a pilot bushing but I had purchased it and needed to install. I mated the engine and trans, dropped in the car, buttoned EVERYTHING up, and it was late, so I decided I'd wait until morning to fire it up. I went to bet and at about 3AM woke up suddenly thinking, "did I install that pilot bushing?". I couldn't wait to know, so went out to the shop and there it was, on the workbench and not in the car....berkeley! I went back to bed and the next morning yanked it all back out again to install the bushing.

My first car was a '72 Mustang Grande(notch-back), bought for $700. Not long after getting my license, I picked up a couple friends and their drive happened to be an alley to the back of the house. As I'm backing out, I can't see anything through the tiny rear window(especially with my friend's large head occupying most of the space) so I ask "is there anything behind me?"

Now, keep in mind there was no outside passenger's rear-view mirror, and the driver's side was some aftermarket POS that just wobbled around. :D So about a second after he turned around & looked, and said "Nope" then sat back down I hear a loud crash, and we stop rather abruptly. Sure enough, backed right into a power pole at the end of the alley!

The impact pushed the rear bumper in, and left a perfectly curved impression of the pole in my bumper, rear fascia, and trunk - which unfortunately meant I couldn't get it open. No worries though, as it knocked a chunk of bondo & newspaper out of the rear 1/4, just behind the wheel, that was about 1'-square! So I just reached up in there, got my stuff out of the trunk & carried on.

I ended up selling the car for more than I paid for it too!

Young and stupid in my rusty 1979 IHC Scout II

Going WAY too fast through a residential area that I had been through several times before without incident.

Discovered (not in a good way) that the city had recently installed a large, long speed bump (probably my fault).

The front end came down HARD just as the back end was going up (way too fast). I got tossed around like a ragdoll, my jack and tire iron fell out of the rust hole in the rear floor and clattered onto the pavement while a couple and their 2.5 children glared at me like I was the devil.

Rather than stopping to get my jack and tire iron and receive a possible beating or chewing out, I got the hell out of there in a hurry.

Never got my jack and tire iron back.

Shawn

Last summer I was invited to crew for a vintage racer driving a very nice 68 Midget. I was very intimidated because I'm self taught and not exactly an accomplished mechanic, and I had never crewed for a race car before.

On Sunday before going out the driver decided to rotate the tires. The car was already on jack stands so I snugged the lug nuts on intending to torque them when it was back on the ground. So the driver was in a rush to go out and I forgot to torque them.

He made it around one parade lap then disappeared from the field. We ran up to the pits to find him on his hands and knees looking under the car. We asked him what was wrong and he replied "my front berkeleying wheel fell off!" I felt terrible!

At the end of the weekend I was presented with the "driving the wheels off award"- an event shirt pictured in my avatar, and invited back for this year!

Just got back from running a few errands. I forgot to mention that I practice my dance moves while sitting at stop lights. No crazy footwork or anything, just body isolation and shoulder work... while sitting in a convertible with the top down.

dculberson wrote: Singing loudly, music cranked, bass audible to other cars, slapping the steering wheel in time. I'm a 37 year old white dude.

This, but I'm a 55 year old cracker.

I guess the dumbest most embarrassing things I have done were: 1) trying to show off in my 1965 Falcon by stomping it in a turn when I hit a patch of sand. It went sideways, I was too stupid to catch it in time and hit a small tree then 2) same car after I got #1 fixed, I was messing around with a pellet gun in a vacant lot. My brother says 'isn't your car around there somewhere?', I told him to MYOB, pulled the trigger and heard the unmistakeable ping of a pellet hitting the freshly painted drivers' door.

Or maybe it's this:

In reply to Curmudgeon:

You somewhat look/sound like my FIL.

This is going to be fantastic and I may ask for permission from some individuals to skit a few of these out.

You sure you want to pantomine sex with a large fake rodent sandwich?

In reply to Curmudgeon:

That second part wasn't necessarily aimed at you, but I'm trysexual. I'll try anything once.

I was installing some new rear shocks on my 4Runner (2.5" RadFlos, absolutely amazing) when my then-girlfriend came over. So I finished up, put the wheels back on and went inside. The next day she had to go somewhere so I offered to drive, some could test out the new rear shocks. I went and got gas, then jumped on the freeway to head to her place. My rig acted really weird when I make a lane change and then started shaking like mad. I let off the gas to see what was going on when my 4Runner dropped the rear driver's side and my wheel passed me. I laid to a stop on a nearby off-ramp, leaving a nice big gouge in the pavement. We get out and she calls AAA (she gets free towing). I them start looking for my wheel, lug nuts, and brake drum. I don't see anything. I even ran out into the median to check there. So I head back to where my car was resting to check on the tow truck. We have some time so we walk under the freeway to check the other aide for my wheel. It was stuck in a bush against the fence by the on-ramp. My wheel crossed 4 lanes of freeway and an on-ramp and the median without hitting anything. It didn't even get scratched or lose the center cap! We leave it hidden the bush to come back later and get with her truck as the tow truck was going to be there soon. We hustled back to my truck and I see a sticker on the back window. An officer had come by and gave me a warning to move my vehicle in four hours or it would be impounded, even though it clearly was missing a wheel.

On the bright side, I did learn that tow trucks have cool little wooden sliders for when you're an idiot and forget to tighten your lug nuts though.

Best part is, my new shocks were unscathed! I ground down like 1.5" of my drum brake backing plate but it stopped maybe 2mm from grinding enough to hit my shocks lower mount.

When putting a new UIM on a series I buick 3800, you must remember to put the PCV valve that comes rolling around in the box, in the UIM(which comes with the PCV service cap already installed), otherwise this car that used to run fine will suddenly start smoking like a freight train.

N Sperlo wrote: In reply to Curmudgeon: That second part wasn't necessarily aimed at you, but I'm trysexual. I'll try anything once.

Huh. So I ain't the only one.

This is really funny- because I just did the same thing on my MG!

I sent my crank in to be measured/machined, and the bushing came back to me taped to the nose of the crank. I set it aside on the workbench, got the WHOLE engine and trans reassembled and in the car.

It wasn't until I was perusing someone's photo gallery when I saw the pilot bushing in the end of the guys crank. Doh! I had to take the whole thing out and apart just for that silly little bushing!

Cotton wrote: I decided to do an engine and trans swap in my 72 Firebird. I was going from a 400/auto to the current 455/4speed. The 455 had come out of an auto car, so did't have a pilot bushing but I had purchased it and needed to install. I mated the engine and trans, dropped in the car, buttoned EVERYTHING up, and it was late, so I decided I'd wait until morning to fire it up. I went to bet and at about 3AM woke up suddenly thinking, "did I install that pilot bushing?". I couldn't wait to know, so went out to the shop and there it was, on the workbench and not in the car....berkeley! I went back to bed and the next morning yanked it all back out again to install the bushing.

I remembered another one...

I was sixteen and had my first vehicle, a 1980 Chevy K5 Silverado Blazer with about 200k on it.

My uncle came to visit, he's a die hard GM guy. He was teaching me how to check my oil and top it off if need be- verbally, he wasn't showing me. So I trotted out to the driveway to check my oil. I found a dipstick and promptly checked it- it was closer to the lower limit mark. So I scrounged up a quart of engine oil, but couldn't find where to pour it in as my uncle described. So I pulled the same dipstick out and poured the oil in the tube.

My uncle came out later and I proudly showed him what I did. "Where did you pour the oil in?" he asked. Right there I said. My uncle turned back to the house and yelled to my mom, "Gail, call and make an appointment with the shop". Perplexed I asked why. He said "because you poured engine oil in your Goddamned transmission!"

Oooooohhhhhh.......

I got pulled over for the first time ever on the night of my high school graduation. I thought the guy behind me was a friend in another Mustang. It was a cop. I wasn't speeding, but I was accelerating kind of aggressively. No ticket, but after I pulled over, three or four cars passed with people I knew in them yelling "Hey! It's confuZion3!" as they passed. (Obviously, they used my real name).

Earlier that year, the guy I though was behind me in the story above was actually behind me. I was on it in second gear just for fun. No biggie. I casually turned right at the next stop sign but I couldn't get it out of first gear. I pulled over with the clutch in, but the car stalled. Transmission was blown. So was the clutch. At that moment, four cars full of people I knew went by me (on a DESERTED BACK ROAD!!!!) "Hey! It's confuZion3!"

I had my my wagon up on ramps in the g/f's garage to change the oil. Lifted the rear up on stands to replace the rear brakes. After replacing the brakes, I lowered the car back down. I forgot to "reset" the emergency brake after compressing the pistons. Car rolls off the ramps.

Into the closed the garage door.

With the rear hatch open.

That was one VERY expensive oil change and brake job...

Not for me, but I bet the gal I passed on the freeway this evening was embarrassed. I did a double-take. She must have had a bloody nose, because she had a tampon stuffed in her nose.

My list would be rather extensive

Haha...some good ones so far. I will admit to being guily of not only daily driving a questionably-deserving car with racing stripes, but actually applying said stripes and then daily driving it. Yes, I was young, and yes, I was certain that it looked really cool even though it probably didn't.

not a car but a home improvement story - my sister's gas water heater had a bad thermocouple and I convinced her it was an easy change on a Saturday morning. I go over and cross thread the brass fitting convincing myself it wouldn't leak and I soaped it up to discover it leaking gas.

my dad gets involved on the phone and tells her to move home for the weekend and to have a plumber come out on Monday and put it a new water heater. 20 years later NOBODY has mentioned this event that I still feel lousy about.

aussiesmg wrote: My list would be rather extensive

Better get typing.
The short version gets me what I'm looking for.

Auto repair type mistakes:

My dad had just acquired a pneumatic impact wrench. It was fun how much easier and quicker that made jobs. So I tried using it to remove the drain plug on the bottom of the Miata transmission...

Had a different door on the driver's side of my Miata after backing up with the original one open. Ran into a scissor lift in my dad's hangar.

Bleeding the brakes but forgot to put the master cylinder cover back on, so I covered my engine bay with brake fluid. I did this twice in the same day. I was not amused.

Um... I mixed up a vacuum hose with the windshield fluid hose on the Mighty Dakota... wondered why it choked every time I put the wipers on.