I can't believe I'm related to this person...

One of my cousins is an idiot. I got a call from my aunt today asking if I could get my cousins car driveable again. I'll get to what happened later, but this car is dead.

My cousin is a car killer. She's the sort that can take a clean, cheap, dependable car and turn it into a total loss within a year.

Victim one started as a very good condition low mile Sable. Last time I saw it it ran on two cylinders, had no brakes whatsoever, was missing a vast majority of the interior trim, and was so full of smoke residue that I refused to work on it. Even the windows had an opaque, sticky, brown coating. It looked like someone had a cigarette smoking contest in there. And the smell... Imagine a late-model dirt track car, the body on this thing was worse than that. Even the roof had big dents.

A few years back when my grandfather died my cousin got his immaculate 91 Grand Marquis. At the funeral it had one spare on, the whole drivers side crunched, busted lights, and a thick coating of smoker grease on the interior. All in the space of about two weeks.

Well, today my aunt wanted to talk to me about working on the Grand Marquis. Apparently my cousin was at a party with a bunch of nefarious characters, as is the norm for her, she passed out drunk and someone took her car for a joyride. At least that's the story.

The party damage list: - Windshield was broken with a hammer in several places. - Rear window is gone. Glass, trim, everything. - It looks like the car was run through a fence or gate at very high speed. Front bumper is cracked in several places, lights, grill, and front plate are gone. Serious impact damage and gouges over hood, roof, and trunk. - An impressive amount of grass and sod are clinging to the front subframe which looks to have taken a powerful hit into the ground. - The sides of the car appear to have been beat with a sledgehammer or other large object. - The suspension has taken some damage from a very hard jump.

I'll try to get some pics of it later, but it's in hilariously bad shape.

What's the difference between friends and family?

You can pick your friends.

Some people don't deserve cars.... Maybe a year of walking/bus riding will get her to straighten out.

Whatever you do, don't fix it. My sister was the same way. My father and her various ex-husbands spent small fortunes keeping her in cars and she would wreck them herself or loan them out to her low life friends to wreck. She never did straighten out. She's dead now from abusing all sorts of illegal substances and she drained friends, relatives and even her own children of large amounts of time and money along the way.

LET HER WALK!

I'll bet you will never get that car aligned right ever again. It will be a tire eater.

It's definitely totaled. I may yank the 4.6 and keep it around for a future project.

maybe she needs to earn her next car. Preferably a NEW car she has to make payments on. That generally keeps people from beating on the cars too much

Me thinks the vehicular homicidal tendencies are hiding a much more insidious predilection. Otherwise known as they're berkeleyed up beyond all recognition and to assist her with providing transport is helping to feed her need to stay BUBAR. Honestly tell aunty that the cousin is dead weight and is better to be cut loose to learn to help themselves before being given another handout.

I too agree on the "let her walk" sentiment.

Aside from that, a replacement '91 Marquis would likely be cheaper than fixing this one.

Yeah, great, mm, then ALL THE REST OF US will be buying her next car.

The Dawg has it. No more fixing her shiite until she fixes herself. [Cartman] Tough Love, Mr. Kitty. [/Cartman]

Rather than fix this car i would reccommend actively taking away any cars she manages to scrounge up from here on.

Even the windows had an opaque, sticky, brown coating. It looked like someone had a cigarette smoking contest in there.

Weed,has to be weed.

Unfortuantely, my older Sister is not blessed with the car care gene...a new Chevette when she got married (totaled)...a Cavalier (died a horrible death)...the Parents gave her the conversion van (engine blew)...nice Buick Le Sabre (poof...tranny).

My Parent's gave or bought her all of these... she recently leased her first new car ever...a Honda Civic.

JFX001 wrote: Unfortuantely, my older Sister is not blessed with the car care gene...a new Chevette when she got married (totaled)...a Cavalier (died a horrible death)...the Parents gave her the conversion van (engine blew)...nice Buick Le Sabre (poof...tranny). My Parent's gave or bought her all of these... she recently leased her first new car ever...a Honda Civic.

Lease + your sister = big problems........

I am the family mechanic and know all about getting "the call" from the car killer of the family. Let her walk. If your aunt wants to buy her another car, then so be it, but this is far from your problem. Make your stand now and hopefully you'll never get asked to fix a car for her again.

mad_machine wrote: maybe she needs to earn her next car. Preferably a NEW car she has to make payments on. That generally keeps people from beating on the cars too much

Umm, ever see how beat some of the cars on the bank repo lots are?

I vote for walkaway also. Do not enable this to go on. Yeah you'll catch a load of crap ,maybe even taken off the christmas list for a year but its worth it..

Only way I'd help, is to teach her how to fix it herself, and let her do all the work.

I have a sister who isn't quite this bad, but goes through cars and other stuff way too fast. Went to the trouble of getting her "free" car that a friend was ditching. It was rather minty Audi 90 20v quattro. Only needed brakes, and an exhaust to be road legal and safe. Only gave it to her because they were in desperate need of a car(it was going to be my budget hillclimber). Husband was going to do the work and he's an ex-mechanic(ex a lot of things). Sat for a year and a half, before they took it to the crusher without telling me(despite me saying I wanted it back, if they didn't want it.) Never again.

sachilles, they probably got $50 from the breakers. If you got the car from them, they would have had to give it to you for free, as that's how they got it. So, $50 v. nothing... Hummm... $50 for (fill in the blank) to go directly into the (fill in the body orifice) versus nothing... You lose.

I believe Pete and Pat should be her only mode of transport for a while. Until she appreciates what it is to not have a car, she will never take care of one.

That or offer to help her fix it with her doing all the work and spending all the money. If it is her blood sweat and money she might learn something. Of course if she is dumb as a post that won't work either and homicide may ensue. I know I have very little use for stupid people.

kpm wrote:

Even the windows had an opaque, sticky, brown coating. It looked like someone had a cigarette smoking contest in there.

Weed,has to be weed.

Given how the story played out, I would agree. She's drinking and smoking. Sounds like someone needs to be smacked upside the head with some cold, hard reality. Then maybe finish her off with a shot to the face with a clue from a double-barreled clue shotgun.

Don't fix it. She might kill someone someday.

sachilles wrote: Only way I'd help, is to teach her how to fix it herself, and let her do all the work. I have a sister who isn't quite this bad, but goes through cars and other stuff way too fast. Went to the trouble of getting her "free" car that a friend was ditching. It was rather minty Audi 90 20v quattro. Only needed brakes, and an exhaust to be road legal and safe. Only gave it to her because they were in desperate need of a car(it was going to be my budget hillclimber). Husband was going to do the work and he's an ex-mechanic(ex a lot of things). Sat for a year and a half, before they took it to the crusher without telling me(despite me saying I wanted it back, if they didn't want it.) Never again.

I just died a little inside. That's one of my favorite cars.

sachilles wrote: Only way I'd help, is to teach her how to fix it herself, and let her do all the work. I have a sister who isn't quite this bad, but goes through cars and other stuff way too fast. Went to the trouble of getting her "free" car that a friend was ditching. It was rather minty Audi 90 20v quattro. Only needed brakes, and an exhaust to be road legal and safe. Only gave it to her because they were in desperate need of a car(it was going to be my budget hillclimber). Husband was going to do the work and he's an ex-mechanic(ex a lot of things). Sat for a year and a half, before they took it to the crusher without telling me(despite me saying I wanted it back, if they didn't want it.) Never again.

Hmm. Smells like they needed cash fast. I still think people who treat cars like appliances shouldn't be allowed to have anything other than a diesel Izuzu with an AM radio. That 90 would have made a great little runner.

Hey now, a diesel Isuzu could make an excellent parts runner!

Condemn them to a [fwd] Pontiac LeMans, with no radio to distract.

camrys,.... this is why we have camrys