I need help - road rage issues

In reply to Japanspec :

Your recognition of the problem and accepting responsibility for it is some of the healthiest stuff I've read in a long time- kudos!

Im not a therapist.  I'm a carpenter, so you really don't want MY advice!  😂

My grandmother used to deal with extreme frustration by yelling something wacko like "OH FIDDLESTICKS!", or "OH PSHAW!".  I thought it was a riot, but it always made everyone laugh, including her.  She seemed to be able to magically shift her anger to laughter in an instant by yelling something nonsensical.

Therapist, music, podcasts, fitness, and fiddlesticks... THAT should do it! 😂

Keep up the good work!
 

In reply to wvumtnbkr :

I usually give a disappointed look and thumbs down 

Wally (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to wvumtnbkr :

I usually give a disappointed look and thumbs down 

Yea, but you don't have the HARD sarcasm then.  And it can escalate things.

Stampie said:

In reply to wvumtnbkr :

I blew a kiss at a guy on 95 once and it really confused him.

I've done this a few times now, and have found there's no better way to escalate a situation. It was fun one time when they laughed. But at least two other times I felt like I was about to get sideswiped. 

Remember, you're not IN traffic, you ARE the traffic. 

I am 62 now and for the most part my road rage is just saying something inside my car and moving on.  If my dog is with me though, she will whine and start to lick my face thinking that I was yelling at her.  Now I have to apologize to her and its all over at that point.

The "Armed Attorneys" YouTube channel is mostly 2A stuff but they are primarily defense attorneys in TX.  They mentioned a while back that 75% of their defense cases are for road rage.  That was shocking to me.  

The other thing to maybe help keep your emotions in line is that if you are going to invite, threaten, or just go off on someone, you really don't know which one of them is going to take you up on your actions and may be well prepared to kick your butt or shoot you.  All of that for 20 feet of asphalt.  I believe in these post-COVID days people are even more easily triggered by whatever and you just don't know what their whatever is.  I know my tolerance for BS is just about zero these days but I have learned to walk away a little better than I have in the past.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm getting a Peterbilt for my daily.

My favorite thing to do is make the hipster 'heart' sign at them... but I so rarely encounter butt drivers that it's kind of a moot point.  

Funny story though-  One day last fall, it was a local election day in our town.  I went in before work and it was an absolute madhouse.  I finished up, but was in a mad rush and late for work, and ended up not double checking my right side for a left turn and cut right in front of someone going straight.  He hit his brakes and horn, middle finger shaking at me out the window.  I rolled down my window and waved, as if somehow to say 'my bad', and at the next intersection we were mated up in parallel lanes.  I rolled my windows down and apologized profusely for being careless, it was my fault and I didn't mean to ruin his day.  He was super understanding about it, and off we went... 

Turns out it was my daughter's kindergarten teacher this year, and we both remembered our "incident" at her open house.  Super nice guy, happy it ended the way it did, haha. 

Just remember, you don't want to be this guy. A lot of times, you just have to back off.

I realize this is now old, but I thought I would add a bit here.   Years ago my doc put me on antidepressants.  The first thing I noticed is that they reduced my anxiety and anger by several orders of magnitude.   It particularly helped with road rage because i was getting pretty bad. I went through several and all helped.  None did what Curtis said one of his did.   Oddly, they never helped me focus at work, which is what I needed.  Another thing that helped is our company preached driving safety until I thought i as going to scream.   That is when I started slowing down and not getting in a rush. I just let stuff go.  The antidepressants may have helped with that.  I'm not pushing them, just stating my experience.