i wish someone would have told me this a year ago...

the thing no one tells you before you become a parent

now i have a 3 month old daughter and had to find this out on my own...

I was directed to never repeat it. Just posting here makes me fear for my family's well being.

Don't worry, just when you get used to this phase, they'll evolve and you'll be left wondering "what the berkeley, I just had this yesterday?"

It's the real reason parents of teens look so defeated. They are.

Infants are cute for awhile but then they grow up.

Then there are the "terrible twos".

Now I just sit back and watch.

The "twos" aren't so bad. I enjoyed watching mine go through that learning stage. Now the "threes" were terrible as they knew better but just liked to push as far as they could get away with.

I have a game a few people in this thread would love.

The first three months after my daughter was born were awesome. Of course I had just had rotator cuff surgery and was on a pretty heavy dose of Norcos, ice machines, and physical therapy. So I mostly laid around singing the Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals catalog to her with my shirt off getting that sweet sweet skin to skin bonding going.

Oh and vacuuming while wearing her. That calmed her right down for some reason and the wife didn't have to clean the floors.

Not sure how I am going to cope with the next one.

In reply to wlkelley3:

You are speaking the truth right there.

In reply to The0retical:

Sounds to me like for the next one you should take three months off work and spend it taking pills cuddling your baby and sweeping the floor.

Also, how many people posting here read the linked article? Or even the headline? Hehe

In reply to dculberson:

Winner winner chicken dinner. I was just going to see how long it took until someone realized it.

In reply to dculberson:

I did and laughed. Then realized that hormones and a heavy dosage of pain killers whitewashed the entire ordeal. So it might be true!

In reply to dculberson:

Apparently only 3 of us...

I read the title, the subscribe popup showed and I closed the tab.

Everything you read or hear in the first 3 months is probably wrong by the way. You just won't realize it until you are on child number 3 or 4.

Sounds like all those nights being kept awake has driven someone to hit the conspiracy side of YouTube.

dculberson wrote: Also, how many people posting here read the linked article? Or even the headline? Hehe

More than i thought would..

I'm just glad I'm on the inside (NASA employee)

I for one welcome our NASA overlords.

Well it was from the Onion.

This is old news. Let me tell you about some really crazy stuff- hold on, someones knocking on my door

I read the article. I have no kids.

viva la resistance!

and now this happens right after this information is made public.. i first learned of it on facebook..

Surely not a coincidence..

Becoming an anonymous appithettic is the other direct result of becoming a parent. They key is knowing when to take off the tinfoil and sit in the corner and talk to the voices in your head.